Is it too often to call my grandpa daily in a nursing home?

No, you are not over reacting.

It is difficult for residents when they first go in to a seniors home, especially when they have little comprehension of English. Indeed, your calling can help the nurses if there is a problem with the staff because of language problems.

Yes it is challenging for the staff but that is their own fault for misplacing the recharger

You are to be commended for your loving concern. It is sadly lacking in todays society.

I have numerous years experience as a volunteer in seniors homes.

How horrible! If these incompetent people lost either his phone or his chargers, they need to replace them so you can call him whenever you want. If they cannot apologize and firmly promise to do better, call your area agency on aging for help and advice about getting your loved one into a better facility pronto. Also, if others do not call their loved ones frequently even daily, then they should.

Definitely talk with the nursing administrator or director there about the missing chargers. If you don't mind buying another one, get a colorful charger such as pink or purple (one that stands out) & with a permanent marker write his name on it in several places. Depending on how much longer he'll be there maybe the case manager or some special language organization can help him out with some type of tool that can help him communicate more efficiently. And call him everyday or more so that he won't feel all alone. Being in a facility in itself is lonely due to COVID restrictions, he needs to connect with someone he loves that can speak with him in his native language. Don't let them make you feel guilty for speaking with your loved one. Good luck & hopefully it won't be too long before he's out of there.

I don't think you are overreacting at all. I think it is nice of you to love him so much hat you call him for the various reasons you mentioned. It may not be the staff's job to bring him to the phone but if they lost his chargers I would think that they ought to make an effort to locate them.

Have you explained all the reasons why you wish to speak with him daily. I think these reasons should be added to his file and posted prominently for the staff to see so that no-one gives you a difficult time in the future. Perhaps you should address you complaint to a supervisor.

You sound very kind and loving. I hope my grandchildren care as much when it is my turn to be in a care home.

You are not out of line. I was clear across the country from my Dad and once they moved him to the nursing home calling was the only contact myself and my stepsister had. Unfortunately we had a lot of trouble with his phone being hung up wrong so we couldn't get through. It was upsetting to finally hear it ring and ring and that was the day he became unresponsive. His oxygen level dropped and so did his blood pressure. My stepsister was allowed to be with him for some of his last hours but when she called me we both knew it was not good and he passed after she had gone home to feed her animals. I wish I had called the nurses station when I kept calling and he didn't answer but it may have been too late by then. The night nurse is the one who called my stepsister. I last saw him in September and talked to him the week before. Sigh.

Don't listen to the staff. Do what you know is right.

Imho, you could speak to the head of the NH about the chargers that have gone missing. Prayers and good luck.

The only reason I could see them asking you not to call so much would be (1) does he get upset after you are done speaking (2) what time are you calling?  I know when my dad was in a nursing facility we knew pretty much what time they ate breakfast, lunch and dinner.  and most times they are getting them ready about an hour before each meal so its possible that they just don't have time to get him to phone,etc while trying to get everyone else ready for meals.  What language does your father speak, its a shame they don't have an interpreter on hand.  I think most places have at least one dual speaking person but maybe not your fathers language.  I thought there was a "tech" gadget that could record what your father would be saying and translate it over into English for the staff, that might be a possibility.  But do what you feel is right, but maybe find out why they don't want you calling so much.

Speak to the care home MANAGER not the care staff (some care home staff think they run the care homes) explain the situation that the care home has lost two mobile chargers so you can't phone direct and that one of the staff has told you not to phone as often and this is upsetting you, they are busy but say you are willing to phone at a time that is convenient for the staff. What the manager says goes and if you can remember the person you spoke to tell the manager their name.

Always go straight to the top. Kindly explain your situation. Call back often if this persists. Ask for suggestions on a solution - they have probably dealt with this before. I would be afraid staff is too busy to get your grandpa for your calls and resent him for it. The CEO or social worker should do something. You should also try to find a solution on the missing chargers - staff will always blame the resident. Only you can fix that.

Some good suggestions have been made. Attaching the charger to a board may work, but they may not allow that. Landline in his room could be an option. Before we moved mom to MC, I bought a landline phone that had 4 programmable buttons that you could put pictures in - I only used our names as that was sufficient. It also had a very small portable hand held one, that could be used to call or take calls. It had a charger too. Charging pad, maybe, but it could "walk" too... She managed to lose it and another portable in her own place! We found them later.

I would talk to someone above the nurse/aide level and focus just on the language issue. People with dementia need that contact - it does help a little keeping them more in tune with reality. Since no one there can speak his language, he NEEDS the contact and it should be daily!

I think I would start with finding out what the best times to call would be. IF you start with being amenable and trying to work with them, it might be better than being accusatory. Obviously getting them all up in the morning or to bed at night, meal times and medication times would be the worst time to call. Most of those should be a set time, but medications can happen throughout the day. Still, there should be times that are better - maybe not every day, but most days.

As for the missing charger - I wouldn't hold my breath getting them to replace it. Items go "missing" all the time and they don't replace them. Dentures. Hearing aids. Clothing. Other personal items. A charger would just fall into the same abyss. Mom's hearing aid ended up going through the laundry (we were letting her "maintain" it, with me having to locate it sometimes and change the batteries - I requested they do that every 2 weeks, because she wouldn't remember, but it didn't happen.) The replacement was rechargeable, so I gave the charger to the nurse as mom would likely lose it (mom is in MC, not NH.) Plan was to charge it overnight and give it to her in the morning (she only wore one, so the other was a "spare".) Within a few weeks, maybe a month or so, it was lost - probably wrapped in tissue or napkin and tossed. From that point, they kept taking it away from her, as she kept taking it out. NO was the answer on helping pay the $400 replacement charge (the purchase included loss insurance, so much less to replace than buy new!)

Even with the hearing aid, I chose not to put a phone in her room. She would only use it to call for a ride home or to her mother's. I didn't want her sitting in her room all the time, so no phone, plus even with the hearing aid she had trouble hearing us. No window access. Lock down since 3/16. Hoping she still remembers me when I can finally visit! They are allowing short outdoor visits, with mask and distancing, which in her case will be difficult because of the hearing issue. Not sure what state you are in, but you could ask if they allow any outdoor visits.

If they can't work out a good time to call, perhaps you can work with them to bring the charger once every day or couple of days, and charge it while you wait or return to take the charger back. Usually phone charges are good for 1-3 days, so it probably wouldn't have to be every day. Another option is to have a nurse take charge of the charger and have his phone charged overnight in a safe place.

Will this be his home going forward or is this a rehab type of set up? If it is his permanent home, admin should be willing to work something out that works for everyone. They *SHOULD* be understanding of this issue, since he can't communicate with anyone there! Also, just because other families don't call every day should NOT be a reason why you can't. Some don't have families. Some families don't care. YOU do and that should be something they appreciate!

You do exactly what your heart is telling you to do. It's soothing for the elderly to hear from their kids and grand kids...... It's too bad that other kids are not calling their parents in the nursing homes. They should be calling everyday. Just always keep in the back of your mind that the Home is under extreme pressure trying to keep our loved ones safe and healthy. Is there a way you could have them lock the cell phone charger in the hole (like a childproof one?).... I had one that we actually couldn't get out of the wall no matter how hard anyone tried...
If they don't want you to continue to call daily ~ ask them to help you come up with a plan and make it STAT... Doesn't take long to forget how to use the phone.

I'm actually happy to hear this coming from a grand-child. He'd be very proud of you.