My dad, who is a veteran, has Alzheimer's and my mom is starting to have cognitive issues of her own but is still somewhat with it doesn't understand. I have started doing research and cannot find information about spouses living together in a group home. My mom still drives the two blocks to Walmart to pick up meds for herself because she does not trust the facility where they live. Would she still be allowed to have her car? It would be ok with me if this was not allowed. Right now I have a lot more questions and I don't even know what the questions are. I do know that whatever move is made will be the last move as they are both in their 90s and I don't want their last years to be miserable because of a hasty decision. They have already moved from their home to assisted living and then to memory care and each move was "not the right thing to do" but there was no choice. Any input would be appreciated.
As for the money situation, I can tell you that is a constant worry. Even hard proof like seeing the account balances doesn’t do much to allay our worries.
As for the venting, never, ever apologize. That’s why this board was created. We might not have the be all/end all solution, but we care and we will try to help.
While Mom still has some cognitive powers, explain to her that constant moves are upsetting for everyone; not good for Dad or her, confusing, expensive and disruptive. And you’re concerned that the next move (and the next) will also not be “the right thing to do”.
What do the parents think about moving. If you find a good one it will be much more homelike for them and more one on one attention.
Have you considered a Vets home?
It is difficult because both parents require different levels of care and Mom is probably unhappy with the company in MC,
I see no reason why a married couple would not be allowed to share a room in a group home. It happens all the time in regular nursing homes.