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Attacked one son with a baton. Monitors my every interaction with both adult sons. Forgetful about eating, taking his medications, about hurtful things said. Has lost a lot of weight and wants to lose more. Refuses to monitor his blood sugars. Is there, legally speaking, anything I can do to make him seek medical follow up? Or should I just wait till he needs to be hospitalized?

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Wow. You have a choice, either your son or others around this man suffer a severe injury because of excuses, i.e., he has high HP or suffers from unchecked diabetes, or you call his doctor privately and tell him that he's been violent (your husband isn't going to tell him). The doctor may want to take it from there.

Don't wait until someone gets hurt.
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If his doctor is aware of this, he may report him to adult protective services. When adults are impaired by some medical condition and they are not caring for their blood sugar, blood pressure, etc., it can be considered self neglect. I've witnessed doctors doing this before.
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When you call 911, (not if), they will take him to the hospital and you can ask for an involuntary psych assessment. Tell them that he has been threatening you all with a baton and they will hop to it. It's a 3 day in patient process. Then you can request the social worker help you find a proper placement for him until he is manageable. Unfortunately, not everyone is manageable by the spouse/adult children even when on drugs to control the erratic brain signals. You have to realize he is a danger to himself and others, and love him enough to do what is best for him, not necessarily what he wants. I know it is hard. Hang in there, lean on this group, and you can get through this.
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You definitely need an outside intervention. Unfortanately it sounds like it may come from the police.Hopefully you have no firearms in the house and if you do GET THEM OUT of the house immediately.And where are your ADULT sons in all of this? What are they doing to help you out? You can't handle behavior like this on your own.I would be on the phone raising h*ll with those sons to come and help you out. Yes there are legal ways to have him committed but it doesn't sound like time is on your side. I am afraid for your safety. From just what you wrote it sounds like dementia with diabetes that isn't being managed.Fluctuating blood sugars alone can cause severe mental changes. Please be careful with your safety. Call 911,err on the side of caution.Please be careful.
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I agree with little. The next time your husband becomes combative call 911 and have them take him to the hospital for an evaluation. There are meds available that could decrease his combativeness.
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Have you talked to his doctor about what is going on? Does he have a diagnosis of dementia or ALZ? The next time he becomes violent I would call 911 and have him hospitalized for mental evaluation. You and your family are in danger. Why would you allow that to continue? Good luck!
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