Mom is 84 now, living alone out of state. I talk on the phone with her every day. She passes the cognitive testing in the doctors office, but I know she has dementia with up to 4 delusions currently. Because the doctor hasn’t deemed her mentally incompetent, she is of her own accord. She seems fine half the time, then one of the delusions enters the conversation. Here’s the list:
1. Her teeth are rotten in the front and she needs them fixed. I spent hundreds of dollars on dental insurance for her because I thought she needed a lot of work. Nope, not one cavity. Dentist says she looks good. There’s discoloration between the teeth, but not cavity. She wants to go to another dentist 😩.
2. From the past going on for years, bugs in the carpet, going on her, going in her body. Multiple pest control coming, finding nothing, charging fees. She bothers the management as well of this issue.
3. Paranoid delusion, the man next door is on her iPhone, he listens, he changes things on it, and is a basic scapegoat for everything she can’t do on it.
4. Me, I’m against her, I don’t stick up for her, I don’t believe her. I’m basically her only support.
I would really appreciate any suggestions. I realize there is no medication for this and it stems from dementia that she’s not diagnosed with yet, but I don’t know how to handle this craziness and not fork over more $ on needless situations. Ideas?
I understand all of this being new to you and my heart goes out to you.
I am adding my insight (Toughen up)
Being timid and fearful will only get get your feeling crushed even more!
You’ll have to parent your parent. The dynamics have changed! ( and yes, that’s a whole new way of living that you may absolutely despise… but, just endure). It may be trial and error but, just endure!
You’ll have to make the decisions for her best quality of life along with her medical team. Get a plan in place and execute it( whether she is on board or not… remember “ the dynamics have changed. “
Protect her and even save her from herself. Gather all the support you can to help keep you sane … including all of us on this forum💕
Wishing you the best outcome😊
For example; If I think I keep hearing the radio too low to understand the words, it usually means that earwax has built up and needs to be removed. My brain is picking up sounds it can't identify and decides to "tell" me that it's a radio.