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Such a challenge for you, Jaxloni.
Choices have consequences - and as she cannot live independently, her choices are limited to the ones that are also workable for you, her primary caregiver who has taken her into your home when the situation with niece failed.

Threatening suicide in order to get her way does need a professional response - call 911. She may absolutely deny everything and paint you as the 'evil daughter", to save herself from the embarrassment she experiences.

Hoarding stuff and refusing to allow cleaning (lots of excuses that are valid reasons to her in her disorder - "I know where everything is, right now!" etc.)
These 2 behaviors indicate that she needs 24 hour care and supervision. You have done your best.
911/APS/geriatric mental health inpatient treatment can all help provide safety and establish a treatment plan.
Residence in memory care or residential care at a nursing home provides ongoing 24 hour care and supervision. She won't like it. It won't be like your house. She forfeited her right to remain with you.
Then you can go to visit her and be her daughter at her new location, not her caregiver and target of emotional abuse.
Take care of yourself, perhaps a counselor can help you talk out some of the issues and relieve your distress.
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Thank you, all for your kind and thoughtful responses! Last Monday morning, I took Mom to see her Primary Care doctor (after 3 days of not eating). Very brief cognition and depression screening (she checked all the depression warning signs), and the following: Dr. prescribed low dosage anti depressant, with referrals for cognitive assessment and psychology/behavioral. This is the kind of help I wished we could've had years ago, but didn't have the resources available, and Mom would've been totally unwilling/resistant to treatment. Today is the cognitive assessment, so a lot has happened in a few short days.

As to the hoarding disorder...I'm not "poking the bear" right now, instead relying that professional help will be a game changer, including guidance for ME on how to deal with this on an ongoing basis. Mom has a healthy appetite, and so far so good with compliance with her new meds, and not pushing back on the cognitive assessment.

Again, thanks to all and will post noteworthy updates!
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Llamalover47 May 2022
JaxJoni: Thank you for your update.
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Jax, I'm so glad that your mom is accepting help! Stay in touch.
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Jax, how did the doctor’s appointments go? I applaud you for your positive and pro-active response!
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