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Just wanted to mention that sometimes my Mom sleeps with her eyes open staring. I didnt know it until her lips started the puffing out business as they do during the night.
One more thing, I also crush Moms pills and make prune pudding to give them to her 2x daily. Some pills can NOT be crushed so ASK the pharmacist. Ones that are extended relief for one. My Mom takes a BP med and was on 100mg daily. It was the slow release one so in order to crush it for her I had to get the 50 mgs and give one in the morning and one at night. Please check on this anyone who is crushing, it can be extremely dangerous.
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My mom stares at me all of the time,especially when we drive anywhere or go out to eat.Drove me NUTS at first,but I am trying to deal with it. We are our parent's world when we are their caretakers.They look to us for everything,much like a child.They trust us.I guess its part of the deal....They have very little else to focus on,so,honey,it is US! Think about it,we make all of the decisions for them,and it must be hard for them to fathom it...They probably never thought they would be in that position,much like us.We will be there soon,too soon...sigh...
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Remember to smile, and say "I love you, Mom, Dad," and touch them gently on their shoulders frequently,or scratch their backs, or rub their backs, and cup their face with your hands, looking at them with your eyes, and say "Thank you, mom, dad, for all the years you cared for me. It is an honor and a privilege to serve you now. I love you so very much."
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Watch the eyes, staring is different than sunken in. Eyes that are sunken in and smaller looking could indicate dehydration and that should be addressed immediately with fluids. Dehydration can lead to a buildup of toxins in the blood, blood pressure problems, weakness and urinary problems.

On the other hand, staring and narrowing of the eyes and a suspicious look often comes from confusion and the inability to understand and make sense of what they are watching you do. If you add in the tendency for paranoia, you can begin to understand why they're watching you like a hawk. They don't even understand the difference between you adding clothes to their drawers that you're trying to put away, or when you're taking something out of their drawers and away from them. When they get in that mode, I stop doing what I'm doing, sit down with them and strike up a conversation. If you stop doing certain things in front of them, they won't be giving you that penetrating stare anymore. I got to be an expert at hurriedly fixing up their things when they were in the bathroom with the door closed. It didn't even work to try to go into their bedroom when they were having a meal because they were questioning why someone was going in their bedroom and didn't like it. There are huge adjustments necessary on a daily basis to prevent causing undue anxiety in the dementia patient, that's for sure.
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Desertrat, nice post. I got a lump in my throat reading it. my caregiving for parents is over, but I still feel ya. Jean
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