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My 90 yo MIL believes (and has believed for 40 years) that my daughter stole her wedding rings and tucked them in her diaper. Of course she didn't do that, for the love of heaven, the baby wasn't even walking, much less pulling a stepstool up to the kitchen sink and swiping things.
The fact that her new microwave and all the coin collections were also stolen didn't not enter into the equation. She was POSITIVE this baby had stolen the rings, I had found them when I changed her diaper and I wouldn't return them.
40 years ago MIL was 50. And deluded then almost as she is now.
She misplaces things all the time (don't we all??????) and always blames the last person to have been in her house, or a thief who comes in and then must lock up pretty well.
Everything for MIL is amped up as she ages, so I can't tell if she is 'worse' or not.
BTW--83 is not particularly old--I'm finding the closer I get to it, the less old it seems. We blame so much on years of age--but both my grandmothers at 83 were up for any adventure and were sharp as tacks.
False beliefs like this are very common, but it is important to recognise that they are not a normal aspect of aging just by itself. What does your mother think has been stolen, and what do you think has really happened to this item (or itemS, sadly. It can become part of a routine)?
If your mother has Alzheimer’s/dementia which it appears she does based on the tags you chose then use this type of accusation is common. If crazy unfounded accusations are a new behavior for her, I agree with Barb about a UTI & you should get her checked for that. If not a UTI, then it’s almost certainly going to be the dementia at play here.
Yes, it is VERY common. Certain things just are with aging and dementia. Is your Mom diagnosed with dementia? What other things are you seeing that are changes. Some things you will see over and over on forum "Why does he sleep so much", "she cannot swallow well", "she is losing things constantly", "she thinks I am stealing from her". In the case of my MIL years ago we did not live in her vicinity. She had caretakers and one of them she focused on constantly. So often did we hear, almost finally with resignation "Wilma took it" when she couldn't find something. It has become a family joke for us now that MIL has long passed. We are 78 and 80 and as you can imagine, things are disappearing more often. So we look at one another, say "Wilma took it" and get the giggles every time. Good luck. Read up on the aging mind. Talk with your Mom and try to sort out what she thinks is missing and help her try to track down what happened (unless there is serious dementia, in which case none of that will matter.)
I believe it usually happens when a person has been diagnosed with either dementia or alzheimer's. Some, not all people do develop paranoia, while having either of those. Really has nothing to do with age but with the diagnosis, so if you haven't already, I would take mom to a neurologist and have her checked out.
You listed this under the category of Alzheimer’s and dementia. Have you discussed this situation with your mom’s doctor? That’s where I would start. Does her medication need adjusting?
Is this relatively new behavior? Explain everything to her doctor.
Holding a false belief is called a delusion and is not a part of normal aging.
What does your mother think is missing? Is this a single instance of "I can't find my purse, so you must have stolen it" or does she think someone is draining her accounts?
Make sure that an unscrupulous relative or broker is not in fact siphoning off her funds.
Sometimes Urinary Tract Infections in the elderly come with only mental/ behavioral symptoms, so get her checked for that. A complete physical should be scheduled; alert the doctor beforehand that her mental status has changed.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The fact that her new microwave and all the coin collections were also stolen didn't not enter into the equation. She was POSITIVE this baby had stolen the rings, I had found them when I changed her diaper and I wouldn't return them.
40 years ago MIL was 50. And deluded then almost as she is now.
She misplaces things all the time (don't we all??????) and always blames the last person to have been in her house, or a thief who comes in and then must lock up pretty well.
Everything for MIL is amped up as she ages, so I can't tell if she is 'worse' or not.
BTW--83 is not particularly old--I'm finding the closer I get to it, the less old it seems. We blame so much on years of age--but both my grandmothers at 83 were up for any adventure and were sharp as tacks.
Look at Dr. Fauci. He turns 80 in December. He’s very active and I think he looks younger than his age.
Some people say 70 is the new 50 for those who take care of themselves and have no major health issues.
People seem to be living longer and longer. My mom just turned 95.
In the case of my MIL years ago we did not live in her vicinity. She had caretakers and one of them she focused on constantly. So often did we hear, almost finally with resignation "Wilma took it" when she couldn't find something. It has become a family joke for us now that MIL has long passed. We are 78 and 80 and as you can imagine, things are disappearing more often. So we look at one another, say "Wilma took it" and get the giggles every time.
Good luck. Read up on the aging mind. Talk with your Mom and try to sort out what she thinks is missing and help her try to track down what happened (unless there is serious dementia, in which case none of that will matter.)
Is this relatively new behavior? Explain everything to her doctor.
I hope you receive help soon.
What does your mother think is missing? Is this a single instance of "I can't find my purse, so you must have stolen it" or does she think someone is draining her accounts?
Make sure that an unscrupulous relative or broker is not in fact siphoning off her funds.
Sometimes Urinary Tract Infections in the elderly come with only mental/ behavioral symptoms, so get her checked for that. A complete physical should be scheduled; alert the doctor beforehand that her mental status has changed.