He is incontinent, has to have help with meals, meds, showering, laundry, and is in a wheelchair. While he seems lucid most of the time, he thinks he was vice/president of the US for a short time and also is always trying to give people money and has gotten burned on a sweetheart scam.
As next of kin, are you the one that they communicate with about your father, or does he have someone else who is his "responsible party" (for instance a POA?)
The administration will be interested to hear of his unrealistic plans to try to go home. They should be aware that he may attempt to leave, or they may wish to discuss if they have seen any such behavior.
As you can imagine we do not know your father. Nor what arrangements you have for overseeing his care in the family. This is something to discuss with the administration where your father currently is staying.
As a new member, R., and if you plan to stay on AC, do fill in your profile. More information about you and Dad will help us give you better answers. We wish you well.
When my Mom (98 years old) wanted to "go home", I knew it was her childhood home as she asked if the cows were back in the barn (her parents had own a dairy farm). Then she wanted to visit her parents, so I had to quickly come up with a "therapeutic fib" that Mom would believe. I told her her parents were "visiting the old county" to which she smiled and said "that's nice". You may need to think up some therapeutic fibs to say to your Dad..
You as his child do not have to help him. You can refuse to be his Caregiver. Those suffering from Dementia always want to go home. But where is that home, the marital one or the one he lived in as a child. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Talk to the DON and ask this question. I am sure she will tell u he will never be discharged.
There are lots of steps here. If he is legally competent, it is his own unoccupied house, and he can organise his move – yes he is able to do it. All the other variations have different (and complicated) issues. If he does organise it and it clearly isn't working, there are other (also complicated) paths to travel down.
Please could you give more details, if you want more information. Just because he has high care needs, you are his only child and you are against it, is not enough to be clear about what can and might happen.
"Wants to move back home alone.."
He can WANT that. Sure.
"Will he be allowed..?"
Is he currently ALLOWED to leave his current care home at his will, without supervision? Just walk (or roll) out the door?
If yes, does he have a power wheelchair (or able to self propel himself)? A phone to call a taxi? Funds to pay for the taxi? Keys to get into his house?
If yes to all, what then?
He sits at his house a while... (maybe outside if steps are a barrier to getting inside).
Might be very unpleasant to be home afterall. When it gets dark, no power on, no food..
How would he manage it w/o your help? Does he drive, manage his own finances, etc?
Does he have friends, siblings etc who would take him home? Manage to hire help etc. all on his own w/o your help?
I’m sure it is stressful for you to hear him discussing these plans and perhaps some scammer is stirring him up?
Can you fill in some blanks and give us more info?
Even if he doesn't have one I'd start talking to the facility admins about this delusion to make sure they are on the same page that he would be an unsafe discharge (even though he isn't in a hospital) and especially if you are still living in his home, you can tell them you aren't willing/able to be his caregiver there.
Does he have a medical diagnosis of cognitive and/or memory impairment? If not, it might be a good idea to get this in his records.