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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Gcabrera55, I remember when my Dad asked me to quit my career so I would have more time to help him and Mom [both were in their mid 90's].
I then asked my Dad if he had quit his career to take care of his parents? Of course, I knew the answer was "no". Dad never asked me again.
If you are currently working, do not leave your employment. Depending on what is your career, you would lose not only a steady paycheck, but probably company paid options.
Then they cannot afford to have you be their caregiver. You will need a job and savings for your own support. Your parents may need to avail themselves of Medicaid or other governmental programs. You cannot manage their lives. Usually it is enough to manage our OWN lives.
Alva is right: you need a job, they need care but can't give you a job. Most of us have the ability to plan for future care, but not everyone can. If they cannot navigate care themselves, contact your local department on aging and get them involved with a social worker who will do a needs assessment and help them find a residential care facility.
Our children are not our long-term care insurance. They are our future, our joy, and the life that will go on when we cannot. That is your obligation to them: to let them be proud of you and share all of the good things in your life.
My LO survived a stroke. When first home from hospital & rehab, family rushed to help. To assist - as much could no longer be done independantly.
It was well intentioned. Yet was a short term fix for long term problems.
Stroke brought permanent big changes - yet it took much time to start to accept that permanent big changes must be made.
I am not sure what changed for your Dad, why you have become his caregiver. But this is a common problem that effects families. Someone cannot afford to stop paid work for the real but unpaid work of a caregiver.
Contact social services and see what he qualifies for. If he already has medicare/medicaid then look into a facility. In some states Medicaid pays the family member who is doing the care.
Welcome, Gcabrera. I see you are in CA, which does have a program called IHSS in which Medicaid patients who qualify can have a family member as their paid caregiver. (Apparently it’s not a lot of money and may not be full time hours.) Is your dad on Medicaid?
Here is a link to the Area Agency on Aging in Fresno County which might have other info and resources that could be helpful:
I had this issue with my mom and POA brother. I do most of the work. In my brothers defense he has 2 important jobs and major health issues.
So I talked to him about a way for me to get paid. Didn't go well
Anyways I decided to do what I have already been doing. But no more, which the reason I mentioned this to my brother is because mom absolutely needs more care. But from now on this is going to be my brothers issues.
Im pretty much just waiting for mom to need er care so I can bring her, then he is going to have to figure it out.
And I'm really working at not bringing the stress of mom , home if they can't figure out a way to work with me then , I'm not worrying anymore ( more like try like hell not to worry)
I'm working on a much more care free additude.
Honestly and completely true, for now they did me a favor. I'm not busting my butt anymore, when I know there is a way .
Not really helpful at all but just figured I'd share my store, sence this is all just happening to me .
I am also thinking my mother and brothers don't want to go the Medicare route to pay me, because they are afraid they will evaluate mom and say she needs more then we can pay and she needs to go in a facility. My family is very privat
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I then asked my Dad if he had quit his career to take care of his parents? Of course, I knew the answer was "no". Dad never asked me again.
If you are currently working, do not leave your employment. Depending on what is your career, you would lose not only a steady paycheck, but probably company paid options.
You will need a job and savings for your own support.
Your parents may need to avail themselves of Medicaid or other governmental programs.
You cannot manage their lives.
Usually it is enough to manage our OWN lives.
Our children are not our long-term care insurance. They are our future, our joy, and the life that will go on when we cannot. That is your obligation to them: to let them be proud of you and share all of the good things in your life.
It was well intentioned. Yet was a short term fix for long term problems.
Stroke brought permanent big changes - yet it took much time to start to accept that permanent big changes must be made.
I am not sure what changed for your Dad, why you have become his caregiver. But this is a common problem that effects families. Someone cannot afford to stop paid work for the real but unpaid work of a caregiver.
A wider team than family is often needed.
Have a social worker come and do a needs assessment and see if he may be a candidate for Medicaid.
You need to work in an actual job/career so that your senior years aren't a trainwreck.
Here is a link to the Area Agency on Aging in Fresno County which might have other info and resources that could be helpful:
https://fmaaa.org/
Hope you find some help with your Dad.
So I talked to him about a way for me to get paid. Didn't go well
Anyways I decided to do what I have already been doing. But no more, which the reason I mentioned this to my brother is because mom absolutely needs more care. But from now on this is going to be my brothers issues.
Im pretty much just waiting for mom to need er care so I can bring her, then he is going to have to figure it out.
And I'm really working at not bringing the stress of mom , home if they can't figure out a way to work with me then , I'm not worrying anymore ( more like try like hell not to worry)
I'm working on a much more care free additude.
Honestly and completely true, for now they did me a favor. I'm not busting my butt anymore, when I know there is a way .
Not really helpful at all but just figured I'd share my store, sence this is all just happening to me .