I spent a year with “one eye open” video monitor in bed with me jumping out when he called. Never enough sleep, every 2-3 hours up at night and usually sleeping 4-5 hours total. I was Stressed and worried to the max. Now, he died a couple months ago and my body craves at least 8 hours sleep but I still wake every 2-3 hours and end up just with 5 hours a night. I look at my phone, email and news since I lie awake. It is as if my sleep has been damaged permanently. What should I do to get back to 8 hours besides take my phone out of the room? I don’t drink coffee or any caffeine and I am a night owl my whole life that used to sleep 8-9 hours consistently. I feel as if I went through a war the past year and I am shell shocked.
Please schedule an appointment with your primary care doctor. Start keeping a journal to document your sleep patterns: time you go to bed, time you get up in the morning, difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, evening routines 1-2 hours before bed. Expect that your primary care provider will make a referral to a sleep specialist. All those notes will help to pinpoint the problems in your wake/sleep cycle. The specialist can prescribe medications to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. He/she may also prescribe cognitive behavioral therapy to "re-train" your brain to help you achieve better rest.
We have figured out with him the best way for him to sleep. 1 - no electronics one hour before bed, 2 - melatonin, 3 - a warm shower, 4 - a paper book (not too action packed). Reading always puts him out. Just an idea.
Actually, it wasn't a trick but a 'mantra' that worked for me then and still does today. Years ago my Mom developed Alzheimer's. When I took her to be examined by a doctor, he asked her to count down from 100 by 7's. She could not do it. I figured that if I learned to count backwards by 7's that someday it might help if I was ever asked the same question.
So every night for many years I have done the count without error and immediately fall asleep. I found what the count does is eliminate thoughts that would otherwise keep me awake. I did that for the 2 1/2 years she was sick and am still doing it today. It puts me right to sleep. I do it in the morning as well just to see how fast I can - and to ward off Alzheimer's for me. . . There is another trick I learned about treating Alzheimer's, which is adding a tablespoon of Cocoanut Oil oil to my morning coffee. I learned that in a 12 hour long seminar on avoiding Alzheimer's. Apparently the oil clears the plaque in the brain that inhibits blood flow and more.
Try it and it may work for you, too. . .
My mom passed 6 mo. ago, after 9 months of worsening chf. Slept w phone literally next to me as she was in & out of hospital and icu. I was her caregiver when she was home, so I too was up all hours.
Before she died (suddenly, at the rehab) I slept very lightly, always worried. Afterwards, I tossed all night. Could not get to sleep. A small dose of over the counter meds that cause a little drowsiness helped me, just saying. Time is starting to help also. In fact sleep is my escape, when I wake up is when the reality hits me that she's gone.
(BTW, when I had trouble sleeping at the hospital, I asked about getting a sleep aid. The nurse didn't tell me until AFTER she injected me it was morphine! I was NOT NOT NOT in pain, just not sleepy, but attached to stupid legs things - if they'd told me I could take them off and walk around, I would have preferred that! So, what did this morphine do for me? There was a large clock across from my bed. I slept for about 15 minutes and it felt like 1/2 hour. Big whoop. No more of that crap for me!)
I don't suggest you take OTC items without first checking with your PCP as to the safety of its use for your health care.
Guve yourself time. It can take several months to years to reset your clock from the sleep.
It is kind if like a mom who has kids, as babies they wake up several times per night, as they get older they wake less, but, they await for the sound of crying.
Twake a break, a mini vacation. Get lots of sunshine or bright lights, avoid the blue Ray's as much as possible. Don't take naps, exhaust yourself in a way that is healthful. Walking, etc. Talk with a friend and join a support group.
Best wishes.
One tip I learned is when you wake up, don't get on your phone. Say, I'm going to lie here for 10 minutes (15 whatever works) and if I'm not asleep, I will GET UP. Then if you're still awake, get up and go watch tv or water the plants or whatever, even if it's 2am. Sometimes it would take hours but eventually the fatigue would kick in and then I could go back to bed. Over time, I could get up and watch tv or do household chores for 30-60 minutes and then go back to bed. It beats lying in bed miserably waiting for sleep to come.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope it improves soon.
ANY habit, good or bad, will take time to break. When used to working regular hours, one wakes up at the same time on the weekend! When you've been doing this for a year, it is going to take a while. It is different than just waking up for a job - you had to be ready to jump and run when he needed you, so that will compound the issue.
I worked with a woman many years ago who could not sleep without the fan running - summer, winter, didn't matter. She got so used to the "noise" that she needed to run it all the time!
Like you, I am more of a night owl - preference is up until 2am, sleep later in the morning! That doesn't work well when you have a 9-5 job and kids!
What you have to start with is consistency. Try going to bed at the same time every night, even if it's 2am (assuming you aren't working that is!) No heavy foods before bed. Sometimes I find myself tense when I lie down, so I take a deep breath, try to relax all extremities, and feel yourself sink into the mattress. The phone probably isn't a good idea - put it aside, if you can. I've had people say read something boring, but all that does is bore me! I try reading something I like and usually fall asleep pretty quick.
If you fall asleep, but wake after a few hours, try the relaxation trick. Get your mind onto something peaceful, say a field of grazing sheep and try counting them! Banish any thoughts that require actually thinking or worrying, just something relaxing. Picture yourself on a warm sandy beach, listening to the waves roll in. As someone else said, if you can't get back to sleep right away, get up, do some simple activities, then try again. Each time reduce the amount of time on the activities.
It won't happen right away. It is going to take some time for your body to readjust. The more times you can get yourself back to sleep quickly, the sooner you might be able to get more hours in, uninterrupted.
I still have the "mom" alert active - baby crying or toddler softly saying 'mom' would have me up in an instant! It still works for me, but it's a cat trying to get up a fur ball that gets me now, even from the other end of the house! I will get up, but once it's dealt with, back to bed, usually asleep in no time!
Some good aerobic exercise (think a nice brisk walk) during the day can help as well. Just don't do it right before bed time!
You've been doing this for at least a year. It may take that long to undo it, but trying various techniques everyone has suggested might help slowly improve your time asleep.
Agreed about not eating before bed, except maybe a little fruit. I do think that helps.
This stage of life is very stressful. Losing parents and spouses and caregiving in general can take its toll on a person...physically, mentally, financially. And this whole living longer thing....it doesn't amount to a hill of beans if you don't have quality of life and you're breaking down the family around you who are killing themselves trying to take care of you.
I am sorry you are so stressed. Time will help. Take care.
My condolences on the death of your father. That grieving process takes awhile too.
2) This is quite the opposite of what we are told to do but works for me so is just something to try - stay up until 12, 1 O'clock doing mentally stimulating puzzles. We are always told to do something quiet before sleeping to slow our brains down, but I find the opposite works, if I do puzzles until my brain feels tired I have no trouble sleeping.
I hope you find something that helps - after such a stressful time you need to be able to not feel tired during the day.
Hope this helps.
I too is a nighttime worker who worked all night to 21:00 to 0500.
Here’s my suggestion Danalta possible go upstairs to your bedroom two hours before your bedtime of your choice turn the lighting down in the bedroom it’s too bright , if you have a television in there leave it off. Then go to the bathroom and prepare yourself a nice hot bath as hot as you can stand it maybe with a little lavender sea salt in the tub or lavender drops essential drops . Breathe in and out relax. Then return to your bedroom and get into bed deep breathing in with your nose & slowly piercing releasing air it out through lips and try next time . If mind starts to wonder every time you think you breathe. If not sometimes you can have melatonin green tea or Sleepytime tea. But your best bet is to put that monitor away leave the Television off . If you like to walk walk a couple hours before bedtime outside it helps .
This won’t be a quick fix but you’re fine you’re still doing it more often and relax
feel like you need to release cry cry you took care of father and you did a job well done. Your sleep pattern will eventually come back
Signing off Brown, Sugar