My Dad's recovery is miraculous. However, he failed the Fit to Drive test with next step 'behind the wheel' test with DMV. This was in NJ. Fast forward, move to Florida. He wants to get his FL license and not tell them he failed the test in NJ and not take the behind the wheel test. I have tried to reason with him about safety, etc. He need to establish residency to get his FL license - 6 months... so I've got a little time. Any ideas on how to persuade him to do what's right. He is doing so much better now, he might pass the behind the wheel test. I am not comfortable with him driving without passing that test.
I had to report my elderly aunt who is a FL resident. I had her driver's license number and other info. I reported it online (anonymously) and wrote a letter with specific info outlining why she should no longer be driving. In her case she was sent a letter to appear at the DMV to retake tests. My idiot cousin drove her to the appointment. When she failed the eye exam right off the bat they asked her how she got there, and said her nephew drove her. They did not re-issue her license and to this day she and her co-pilot sister do not know who reported her...and they are still angry about it! My aunt not only had double-vision, but triple vision!
In another instance, my elderly uncle (93) was driving himself and his cancer-survivor wife in the late afternoon and he went through a red light and was t-boned, which killed his wife and dog. Luckily the victims in the other car were not seriously hurt. His children could have reported him prior or removed his car but were cowards.
You are in the moral and ethical position of knowingly allowing an impaired person to drive and you are in the best position to prevent him. Please do it. Remove his car so he won't be tempted to drive it. Don't tell him this is what you plan to do or when you will do it, it will just cause more drama than necessary. Remove the car and tell him it's in the shop for large, expensive repairs. Tell him whatever "therapeutic fib" is necessary to keep the peace as long as possible.
You can cover over the loss by arranging rides for them through services or friends, neighbors, relatives or hiring a companion aid from an agency. Please do the right thing, even though it will feel hard. You having to face the family of someone he hurt, maimed or killed would be way harder.
--If you've established care, have his provider pull the license and tell him 'no more'. If he hasn't established care in FL, now's the time to do it and slip a note to the provider outlining your concerns before the visit starts.
--If no luck there, yes, report him to the DMV. Does the DMV website have anything to offer about something like this? It can't be that uncommon...
You've gotten great advice from others about NOT allowing your father to get a FL license and to take him OFF your insurance.
I hope you didn't give up a job to be the fulltime caregiver for your parents!
I can't believe he failed and they would reissue him a valid license.
I think Fla would be strict about seniors and driving. I think my MIL had to have her eyes checked every so often when she lived in Fla.
Sounds like he is in FL and wants to take advantage of the ignorance of the FL DMV about what happened in NJ. Not knowing the whole story, FL just might be fooled - I don't know their requirements about age and behind the wheel test. But under the circumstances the OP described I believe she should by all means prevent dad from being licensed to drive.
A friend had this kind of situation with her MIL. MIL had unexplained unconsciousness but was treated in NV - she lived across the state border in CA. This would be required to be reported to the CA DMV who would pull her license, But the NV docs did not bother to report to CA so my friend was faced with a nightmare battle to get a very dangerous driver off the road. She did manage to do it before anyone was killed. There are all kinds of reporting "holes" in the system.
Aside from the obvious "you might kill a child" argument, Dad could lose everything in one good injury or wrongful death lawsuit. (So could you with him on your insurance.) Plus, if your insurance company finds out you've deceived them in any way, they won't cover you and will cancel your policy.
In short, it's your duty to inform Florida that Dad needs to be thoroughly tested before any license is issued, and his doctor should also be notified and asked to OK his driving (or not).
Tell him not to ruin his chances of resuming his normal life by going too fast too soon. If he does things by the book then God willing he'll be back on the road, legal, and above all safe for himself and others.
If your Dad doesn’t have a valid license to hand over, wouldn’t he have to take a test in FL?
You have time as you say - good. A lot can happen in 6 months. Dad may get used to Taxi/Uber/Senior bus & adjust well to not driving. Especially if living in a senior friendly area - many will be similar. So wait & see.
Your profile mentions your Mother has Vascular Dementia - so you know about that. Be aware the risk of VD is increased with stroke. Memory can be good - but it can sneak up in other areas like planning, judgement & spacial awareness (& you need all those for driving).
Is it IL or AL he is moving to?