My dad pays me $1000.00 a month for his full time care. Is he paying me too much?

$ 1000.00 per month is nothing, And while you are taking care of him you are not building up your SS, when it is time to get SS you may not have enough points to qualify.
We are in an Assisted Living place and the cost per each of us per month is $ 7500.00, memory care is over $ 7500.00
Do see a lawyer and draw up a new contract including payment to SS, so when you will retire you will have some compensation.

You are not getting paid ENOUGH!!

I was the trustee/executor for the estate of an elderly friend who passed in 2017. When I pulled his paperwork together to file the 1099s for his caregivers, his primary caregiver made $30,000. The other ones made other various amounts in addition. And he was alone for six to eight hours a night (I don't remember exactly). I think your sister is penny-pinching and unreasonable.

That's $35 per day at $250/7 days. Or that's $1.59 per hour on a 24 hour basis.
Find out the going rate for caregivers in your area. Seems you are wearing yourself OUT. You need to re-assess your situation. See an attorney. None of this makes sense. Based on the information shared, sounds like you are being taken advantage of.

Brenda, not clear from your post whether you gave up your home to care for your dad in his home. If you did, room and board for you should be a separate amount from the caregiving income which reduces the amount you get paid. Maybe the $1000 seemed fair to your dad if he thought he’s also helping you out. However, now that his dementia is progressing to 24/7 care with lots of hands on care, as well as other duties of managing a household. You should list all the duties, calculate based on real providers of services what is would cost your dad to hire help for each item on the list (example: rides to Doc. appts., grocery ordering & delivery, a cook for 3 meals/day, a bookkeeper to manage bills, any house maintenance such as cleaning or yard work). This is what our attorney said is the legal and fair way to set up payment so squabbling family members have a “fact sheet” of real costs in the event you can no longer care for your dad. Trust me, the total will give your sister sticker shock without you having to be defensive or emotionally hurt.
And this does not mean you have to charge that much because maybe your dad can’t possibly afford it. Very few can.
But any amount under this amount that you and your dad agree to pay you is between you and him since it’s his money and YOU are doing the caregiving and house management.
My father is 91 and now in the final stage of dementia. He’s still at home precisely because I’ve been his caregiver/manager for 2 1/2 years. When family pushed back and decided they were too busy to help (leaving me completely alone to handle it all), I went to an attorney with someone else as the POA and told them I would be paid and we would need to hire people 24/7 for days I cannot be there. I have my own home and family to care for yet practically lived at my dad’s for the first 7 months. Had they been willing to help with his care, I would have done it for nothing. Now He pays out nearly $8,000 per month (most to caregivers I hired privately by word of mouth). It would be about twice that if we had chosen a home health agency. My dad has the income fortunately so we rarely have to access his savings. I still get complaints out of the other 5 siblings but I just pull out the fact sheet and that shuts down any argument without me having to be upset.
I’m sure your dad feels very honored and blessed to have a daughter who is willing to do for him what you are doing. Keep up your chin and your way of honoring your dad in ways no facility ever would.

RN IV with with hospice, will, probate, on and on. It's as old as time. 1 sibling takes on the lion's share of the burden while the others stand on the side. I have yet to see this type of situation not front and center about the inheritance. Oh yea; the "others" claim it's not but get real...it's all about the money. Not getting into the psych issues here as this is not your problem.

What is your time worth? You cannot replace a family member who takes on the full-time job of that type of situation. Safety and security is what you provide with the everyday caregiver duties...that is priceless. BTW; you don't say where you are from but current wage for just 8 hrs of daily personal care like that is spendy.

If sister continues with her behavior I would suggest she visit the lawyer so that she gets the skinny. Let her know the charge for her visit comes out of the inheritance.

If you haven't, make up a care-plan that addresses the behavior to be observed when in the house visiting dad for a comfortable and stress free millieu. If you are not keeping a chart of daily activities, etc.. start. Nothing fancy; a notebook: date at top where you jot down (handwritten if you want) what went down during the day in a few words at the end of the day. ex: "Dad took meds in am and pm, went to bathroom 4 times today with stool x1, other sister came over blah blah." dames314 is also great advice. Also, sign and date end of each entry in dad's journal.

Make sure you have supplies if/when the physical state calls for. I will tell you writing in a journal of your own would help you too. Self authoring (diary) can keep you sane. 2 journals...1 for what goes on with dad on the daily and 1 for you for your therapy of self-authoring. The daily account of dad would be looked as a legal document to protect yourself.

Stand strong girl: your father is so lucky to have you by his side. Bless you and your father...

I take care of one parent and the other I was taking care of just went into full time nursing care. Your dad is getting one heck of a good deal at $1,000 per month. That is my honest and true answer. I do all the things you do and I know how much work that is along with the worry about him and the staying home more so not to leave him at home alone. Your whole life becomes about making sure is he ok, well fed, clean and comfortable. Just the thought of $300.00 per month is ridiculous!!! You are not taking advantage, you are saving him a ton of money and he gets to be with family instead of in the hands of strangers.

If you don’t need the money, put it in a savings account. You never know when you will need it for his care. Unless your dad is rich, nursing homes are too expensive for most of us.

Your sister needs to give her head a shake and instead thank you for your work. $1000 is not near enough. You should be paid at least three times that amount. Show this post to your sister.
It infuriates me when the siblings who are uninvolved with care for their parents gripe about the money!!
My parents are nearly 90 but still live independently with a lot of help from me with meals three times a week, appts, daily meds, and housecleaning. They gift me about the same amount that you receive for doing a whole lot more than I do. If my siblings were to complain (and they won’t) I would ask my parents for more not less!!

You deserve at least twice as much. Shame on your sister. Senior day care is over $1,000 a month and then you still care for him from late afternoon until the next morning and all day on the weekends.

In case someone hasn't said it, I recommend you speak with an elder attorney. Have them write up a contract for the work you do to care for your dad. I am happy to see that you had a contract for your work drawn up by a lawyer. Your sister could be eyeing your dad's money as hers in the future. A contract will protect you from her. Ignore her accusations and know that if you were to hire a health aide to come into the home, it would cost $25 to $30 an hour. Ten hours a week would cost more than what you are being paid. In 2014, my dad needed 24/7 care and that cost $2100 a week. Also, assume that she won't help. Be prepared for when your dad may need more help than you can give. At first, supplementing your work with an at home service will work. Keep all bills for that. In fact, keep good records of all expenses paid. Plan ahead for the possibility that your dad will need a different form of care.

Just so everyone knows. Her profile states that dad lives in her home.

im sitting here with my 92 yr old dad that I drive 2 hrs each way to come hang out weekly, do chores n yard work and have him kick my butt in crib. mom is in memory care for many thousands of dollars. he is very capable of chilling but its boring for sure with the covid especially. . don't let your sister question your dedication. enjoy what you have with your dad. check into medicade so you do things monetarily correct for when you aren't able to care for him. those are the people that will take all your money n house and such. as for your sister and her motivation....you see by the responses the truth...in fact don't even let your sister take of him because im sure he would hate it, keep doing the best you can and cover your ass from the system. I created an account just to respond here. the other person who ran the math at 33$ a day? divide that by 24 hrs and you get less than 2 bucks an hour.

No. If you had to hire a caregiver they would charge $15.00 per hour. If you are a full time caregiver $1,000 is not enough money. When I lost my job due to the company moving across the US, several years ago my brother offered me $3,000 per month to take care of our mother 24/7. I turned him down because I lived out of state (about 700 miles) and my family was there and I didn't want to leave them. When we put my mother into a memory care center they charge $6,000 per mo., so $1,000 per mo., is ok, but you probably deserve more.

Well, I don’t understand where she gets her figure from, a $10/hr caregiver or what the minimum wage is in your state(unless you have an RN license, PA, NP etc), for 40hrs a week and since he can do things for himself...let’s cut the figure in half and it still amounts to $800/month. That seems like a fair amount?

We have 24-hour-a-day care for my mom in her home. We're paying $20/hr (it's an expensive area), which comes to $14,400/month. Just saying. $1000/month sounds incredibly cheap.

Dear BrendaBP, when I read your question it literally made me sick to my stomach! There is absolutely no reason for you to think that $1000/month is adequate compensation for the 24/7 care you are providing for your fathers well being. I too was basically the sole caregiver for my 95 y.o. mother for the last 25 months of her life. She came to live in my home from a nursing home facility because I was tired of spending many hours a day there with her making sure her needs were being taken care of and I felt I could provide as good if not better care for her in my own home. My 4 siblings agreed to pay me (out of mom's savings) $100/day i.e. $4.17/hour. At first they would visit mom 1 or 2 times a week but as time went on their visits became almost non existent. My brothers & their wives would come every Sunday night to play cards with mom which she enjoyed. Still the care giving was my responsibility. I was fortunate to have a friend and her daughter help care for mom when I needed time off to go to my childrens activities, grocery shopping, etc. We paid them up to $15/hr. As mom's physical/mental condition deteriorated I helped her more and more with her daily needs. Don't get me wrong, the last months of mom's life were the most beautiful, fulfilling months that my kids and I had with her and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world! However they were also the most mentally/physically draining times of my life. So, I suggest you, your father if possible and your sister re visit the lawyer and let her hear first hand what a much more feasible monetary arrangement would be for you! I never made a care giving contract with a lawyer, so you and your father deserve to be applauded for that foresight. NOW it is up to you to make arrangements for your future well being as far as your financial needs are concerned. The care giving you provide will only grow more and more as time goes on and you deserve to know that your dad should really appreciate the care you give and therefore be willing to compensate you sufficiently. May God bless you for the sacrifices you have made and continue to guide you in caring for your father. Your father is a very lucky man!

The $1,000 is a very fair and reaSONABLE amount; not nearly enough for all you do , butreasonable. Also, your Dad willingly agreed to it. I am sure he knows he is getting a bargain and then some.Shame on your sister!Would she like to take over your responsblilities? Probably not!Just ignore her and be happy loving and comforting your dad.I do know I would not be a caregiver for any amount of money!I admire those who can do it. They should be at least somewhat fairly compensated.

I have had to hire help for my mother on occasion. This company charged $15.50 an hour. That is approx $2400.00 a month based on a 40 hour week. I would talk to a few companies in your area about their rates and let you sister know that information. She should be able to figure out how much less her inheritance would be if you were not doing this. Good luck.

1000 is not so unreasonable, BUT if anything you are getting underpaid. Like others have suggested, the question itself makes me angry.

Ask you sister if she wants to do it for 300

My mom pays $8,000 a month at the rehab center she is stuck in until she can move to a Memory Care place once family is allowed to visit. Plus she pays a total of $2,000 a week to the companions I hired to stay with her from 8am to 10pm each day so that she does not fall because she doesn't remember that she cannot support herself once she stands up. So if your dad chose to pay you $1000 a month to do everything for him, then he has made a really good deal. Your time, your gas, your knowledge, your physical labor and not even including the emotional cost of having to give your dad showers and watch him both mentally and physically gradually go away. I'm sorry that this may cause a divide between your sister and you, but if she is going to allow the difference of $700 a month from what she thinks (from the top of her head without research or she would know better) you should make come between the 2 of you then I'm guessing the divide was already there. Something else to consider, if you have not already, is to have him sign over durable power of attorney to you. There will come a time when he will not be able to comprehend something that needs his signature or approval, and you will have so many more issues at that time. And if you already have that, then you do not need to tell or explain anything to your sister, except that there was a reason your dad chose you to take care of him. Which is obvious by the contrast of care and the lack of care happening from his 2 daughters.

We have an agreement drawn by an attorney and I had a little trouble at first myself. Trouble with acceptance, not with the amount. I carry my POA with me in case we run into confusion with anyone. My Mom is well cared for, medically supervised, cooked for and cleaned. She is 80, has many diseases all of which I look after. Of Mom’s 1600 a month she gives me 700. She pays for all her meds herself. If she lived in a facility they would take all but 50 of her money. To insure your siblings are on the same page, I would suggest a copy of the agreement be given to them. Right now it might be easy to care for your parent, but rest assured it might get challenging, ie; diaper changes, feeding, agitation over things that used to be simple tasks.
Good luck❤️

( I am a full-time Caregiver. My husband helps a lot.
Depending on what level of care is needed for the elder, please know that it is a responsibility involving many steps daily, everyday. 
You cannot compare it to childcare. It’s the same concept but different needs.

From what I have seen, there are 3 levels of elder care in facilities. 1. Independent living elder who wants to live in an assisted living facility, probably still drives or can make his/her own decision about transportation, goes on vacations, has a social life etc. They just don’t want to be concerned with the many aspects of living maintenance on a daily or monthly basis. 2. Memory Failure elder who can no longer remember how to do many necessary tasks and have been deemed by their doctor that they cannot live alone anymore. Example: can dress themselves, eat their own food and not be fed, correctly toileting alone without help, bathing at the sink and aware of maintaining their body, ambulatory but maybe need a walker, able to carry on conversations reasonably etc.  They cannot grocery shop, drive a car, remember to order their meds, take their meds daily, go to the doctor office alone, make any major decisions, pay bills, do laundry , and more. 3. Bed ridden elders who can no longer walk without help if at all, have to be fed, have to be bathed, have to be reminded to toilet and be taken to toilet, limited awareness of things going on around them, loss of hearing, loss of eyesight, teeth, holding a spoon brushing their own teeth and more.

I know I have missed some important points, but take what I have said into consideration. Make certain they have a trust put together ( maybe $1200.00 ) to be sure they are protected. Maybe a contract is enough, I don’t know. It depends on their assets. The sister/daughter may object to the amount of money the son/brother is getting because sometime we just don’t know all the facts about things in life and under-rate a life task….but know this….when you arrive at the point when you should/must change your lifestyle for you elder family member, don’t be quick to be s cheapskate. All of it….in-home care, temp services, Nursing homes, Senior assisted living facilities, doctors visits, legal fees….is a lot. I choose in-home care. And if you do hire help from the outside, trust is truly important on all levels. If you have a church, try to be at one with a couple of able seniors to help you out. It’s sometimes necessary to have respite care for a couple of weeks. 50 weeks in the year to be making sure another person is alright (so you can come and go as you need) is a long time and capable and trustworthy help is paramount.
The sister/daughter should be taught to think this through. She objects I think because she just doesn’t know anything about this.
I do not endorse the web sites listed below. I included them as examples for reading up on this issue. There is a whole world of information online.

ELDER PAYING FOR SENIOR CARE / 
https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/caregivers/dependent_care_tax_credit


Can I Get Paid to Be a Caregiver for a Family Member?
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/info-2017/you-can-get-paid-as-a-family-caregiver.html


Family Caregivers and Self-Employment Tax
https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/family-caregivers-and-self-employment-tax

Imho, that is up to you and your father - whether he gives you $0 or $XX or caregiving. I took nothing from my mother because she was poor.

I have a friend in a memory care apartment and as his POA, I pay all his monthly bills. The rent, meals, his drugs and monthly medical care there comes to around $9150 a month. $1,000 is very reasonable!

If your sister would do what you are doing 24/7. She would change her mind. I don’t get paid and I have no help with my mother who is 90 with the exception of my husband of six years. It is work ever penny your dad gives you.

Please do not let your sister intimidate you. He and a lawyer agreed to the amount. You are worth every penny. Having a family member who you know and trust is a blessing for an elderly person who wants to stay home. Our family paid my younger son to live with his 90 year old grandmother, and he did so for 3 years. He went to school, but was only gone a few hours a day. We both worked nearby and could check on her when our son was gone. He drove her to appointments, made breakfast and lunch,( I sent dinner each day.), shopped and/or took her shopping, tidied the house, ran errands, did laundry, made sure she got her complicated medications, etc. He was paid less than you, but it helped both him and grandma. I am nearly 75 now and would pay a good sum gladly to be able to stay home. I wish we'd paid my sister, who lived nearest mom, to look after our mother. She did everything too, but wasn't paid a dime. She became resentful and I think a fair salary would have helped. Don't feel guilty. You are a treasure for your father.

Tell your sister you are actually underpaid, and if she wants the job, for $300 a month, she can have it.

Find out what caregiving agency's charge in your area for the tasks you perform for the number of hours per week you are 'working/caring' for your father, for the tasks/care you provide (cleaning, shopping, cooking, showering, financial management, transportation to appointments, etc.) If an agency were to charge $20/hr (even if the caregiver only gets paid by them $10) for an 8 hr shift to cover his care 7 days/week, your father would need to pay $1,120/week.

Hi, I agree with everyone, your sister has no concept as to what is involved in the daily care of an elderly parent. Also right now you are fortunate that your father can still walk and get around by himself and does not require bathroom assistance. It will become more difficult in the future and your work will increase to the point where you may need outside assistance. Please make sure your father will have funds to support your care and additional care going forward as apparently your sister will not help you. If she does not understand now..I do not think she will get any better. Stay strong; your father is very fortunate to have you as his caregiver. You are a good daughter!!