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So last week he complained that his car was being used as a community car. He and his wife haven’t driven in 4+ years. They have a 4 door sedan that is the right height to get them in and out. I’ve moved to scheduling medical transport for them (at about $100 a trip). I’ve used my personal vehicle hundreds of times over the past years to take them out….
When I asked my Father to help me understand, he told me I was ‘making a mountain out of a molehill’. He is controlling and narcissistic, and now barely speaks to me. Last year I spent the equivalent of 20 work weeks as their caretaker.
Their son, my husband, was an only child and passed away 3 years ago. There are no other relatives in the U.S.to help.
My Mother-In-Law is a sweet heart and tries to apologize for his actions….what to do?

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Treat the other options as the only options, in your mind pretend that the car isn't even there, then you won't keep stumbling over the desire to use it and his illogical thinking.... poof, gone!
The rest becomes a case of you setting appropriate boundaries - you help on YOUR terms, for the amount of time YOU determine, and you NEVER, NEVER pay for something they should pay for themselves (I'd also ask for gas money and parking fees when you drive them)
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They can choose to have his car driven or take an alternate way such as medical transport. This is grossly unfair to you, really sounds like a situation you need to take a step back from. Don’t discuss or argue, simply say how and when you’re available and stick to it. And don’t put them in your car again
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I feel something is missing here. Did you ask to use their car to get them to appts and such or u have been using his car? If so, why? Your car is getting harder to get them in and out of? I had one like this. I had to help Mom out of it because it was a low car. Not good on the back.

I hope you aren't paying that $100. Who needs medical transportation? I sense there is a cultural thing going on too. Do you work? How old are they? Maybe time to find resources in the area they can take advantage of. Like senior bussing thru the County Office of Aging. If they have money, they should be using it on their care. You are entitled to your life. Being their DIL does not make u obligated to them. What if u meet someone else?
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