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Visit her I am worried about that sister doesn't help me with anything. My mother has me as a POA do I have any right here to pertect for my mother.she had dementia just want to keep her safe
Yes check how your POA reads. If immediate, it was in effect as soon as Mom signed the papers. If it needs a doctor or morev to declare her incompetent, then get that done.
Your house, you let who u want in. Mom cannot decide who she wants or doesn't want to see, you do that for her. If afraid sister is going to try to get her meds, then put them where she can't get to them. I have a kitty jar in my hutch, if I had this problem, thats where I would put the meds. No one but hubby knows where out kitty jar is.
No letting her visit sister is not a good idea because people suffering with Dementia don't do well with change or unfamiliar places.
I wouldn't let sister in! Too many problems with that. But if your mom wants to see your sister, that's another thing. Meet sis in a public park where lots of people will be nearby. Keep it short. Be alert for sis following you home, and be prepared to take detours. You don't want sis to show up at mom's home and confront her outside or try to talk her way inside.
It doesn't seem as if you should trust sis at all.
You have every right to protect your mother. Do not let a drug addict near the pain meds. What is she ODs? What is she tries to illegally get more in your mother's name? If she comes to the house, call law enforcement and tell them to have her removed. I would not trust the husband (a SO can be many different things, but, regardless, it means they are a dangerous person). It sounds like your half sister is in with some shady people and with your mother having dementia they probably think they can take advantage of her (and will).
Just read your profile. Your mom has several health issues. She appointed you as her PoA.
You’re in control here, not your sister. Does mom live in your house?
Why would you want your mom to visit your sister?
You know that she is after your mom’s pain meds. Please don’t invite trouble into your mom’s life just because your sister wants your mom to visit.
Your profile states that your mom has dementia. She’s vulnerable. She isn’t able to see things objectively.
I cut off contact with my brother due to his substance abuse. I didn’t allow him to see mom in our home.
I knew that my mother would be susceptible to my brother’s requests for money. So, I didn’t place mom in a vulnerable situation.
Mom would have given him money had I not set these boundaries.
Is your mother asking to see your sister? If you are okay with these visits, meet her in a neutral location, such as a restaurant or coffee shop if you like. Don’t allow your sister to be alone with her.
If your mother lives with you in your home and not the other way around, the choice of who you allow into your home is up to you. You're the one who decides that.
You claim your sister won't help you with any of the caregiving needs for your mother, yet you claim she's a drug addict that you need to protect your mother from.
So which story are you sticking with? You would do well to make sure your POA is active before you start making calls to the police and APS. If your mother isn't incapacitated from Alzheimer's/dementia she can very easily change her POA over to someone else. I have known this to happen.
If she wants to see your sister, then make that happen. Take some precautions like not allowing her to visit alone with your mother. Keep your mother's pain meds and cash on YOUR person at all times during the visit. Have a friend or family member be at your home when your sister is visiting and let her know beforehand that if she brings her husband with her, you will not let her in. If your sister gets up to go to the bathroom, you or someone else follows her.
So, if you don't want drama in your tipi don't create any and it sounds to me like you do.
Please contact social services for your county to see if your Mom qualifies for any in-home help.
Also contact your local Area Agency on Aging for more info and possible resources.
If I were you I'd not have your addict sister see your Mom in person. She can call her on the phone with the speaker on. As soon as she tries to ask your Mom for anything you remind her that you are legally responsible to protect her and then hang up. Don't answer any further calls from her. Tell your Mom the call dropped and you're not sure why.
Keep your Mother at Home and do Not allow the sister In the House - she sounds dangerous . You can go to Police and file a restraining order against her and then you will have to go in front of a Judge and tell him " She steals pain medication and you dont want her in the House " - No One wants to do that But its probably necessary . You do have rights to protect yourself and your Mom . You Can call APS and a social worker will come to the House and speak with you - Let them Know your concerns . Ask your Doctor to have a VNA Nurse come visit and a Physical therapist come in and help Out . I find Having Outside help coming in is very supportive . Ask the doctor for a social worker that way you have more support . Alzheimers Has support groups they can refer you to . I was in a savvy caregiver support group and would voice My concerns in the Caregiver group .
I would see an elder law attorney about this, Danzeya. Your mother's funds pay for expert advice when you are acting as her POA.
You say that your sister wants your mother to come and visit her. But you claim that your mother has dementia, and you are her POA, and claim also that sister wants to take your mother's pain medications from her.
You can, if your are your mother's caregiver and POA, and if your mother is NOT COMPETENT legally to make a decision in her own behalf that is best for her safety, tell mother that she cannot visit anyone outside the home.
I would also call APS. It is not only illegal for sister to take Mom's medications, but dangerous and it is illegal. You and your mom should together speak with APS.
Ultimately, if you have proof of what you claim, you may need a stay away order or an order that allows only monitored visits from this sister. I worry, as overall she sounds a bit "dangerous".
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your house, you let who u want in. Mom cannot decide who she wants or doesn't want to see, you do that for her. If afraid sister is going to try to get her meds, then put them where she can't get to them. I have a kitty jar in my hutch, if I had this problem, thats where I would put the meds. No one but hubby knows where out kitty jar is.
No letting her visit sister is not a good idea because people suffering with Dementia don't do well with change or unfamiliar places.
It doesn't seem as if you should trust sis at all.
You’re in control here, not your sister. Does mom live in your house?
Why would you want your mom to visit your sister?
You know that she is after your mom’s pain meds. Please don’t invite trouble into your mom’s life just because your sister wants your mom to visit.
Your profile states that your mom has dementia. She’s vulnerable. She isn’t able to see things objectively.
I cut off contact with my brother due to his substance abuse. I didn’t allow him to see mom in our home.
I knew that my mother would be susceptible to my brother’s requests for money. So, I didn’t place mom in a vulnerable situation.
Mom would have given him money had I not set these boundaries.
Is your mother asking to see your sister? If you are okay with these visits, meet her in a neutral location, such as a restaurant or coffee shop if you like. Don’t allow your sister to be alone with her.
Wishing you all the best.
You claim your sister won't help you with any of the
caregiving needs for your mother, yet you claim she's a drug addict that you need to protect your mother from.
So which story are you sticking with? You would do well to make sure your POA is active before you start making calls to the police and APS. If your mother isn't incapacitated from Alzheimer's/dementia she can very easily change her POA over to someone else. I have known this to happen.
If she wants to see your sister, then make that happen. Take some precautions like not allowing her to visit alone with your mother. Keep your mother's pain meds and cash on YOUR person at all times during the visit. Have a friend or family member be at your home when your sister is visiting and let her know beforehand that if she brings her husband with her, you will not let her in. If your sister gets up to go to the bathroom, you or someone else follows her.
So, if you don't want drama in your tipi don't create any and it sounds to me like you do.
Also contact your local Area Agency on Aging for more info and possible resources.
If I were you I'd not have your addict sister see your Mom in person. She can call her on the phone with the speaker on. As soon as she tries to ask your Mom for anything you remind her that you are legally responsible to protect her and then hang up. Don't answer any further calls from her. Tell your Mom the call dropped and you're not sure why.
Boundaries are important to know and defend.
You say that your sister wants your mother to come and visit her. But you claim that your mother has dementia, and you are her POA, and claim also that sister wants to take your mother's pain medications from her.
You can, if your are your mother's caregiver and POA, and if your mother is NOT COMPETENT legally to make a decision in her own behalf that is best for her safety, tell mother that she cannot visit anyone outside the home.
I would also call APS. It is not only illegal for sister to take Mom's medications, but dangerous and it is illegal. You and your mom should together speak with APS.
Ultimately, if you have proof of what you claim, you may need a stay away order or an order that allows only monitored visits from this sister. I worry, as overall she sounds a bit "dangerous".