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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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There comes a time when dementia reaches a point where placement becomes necessary. Your husband may be at that stage right now, although it may be hard for you find Memory Care facilities willing to accept new residents now, with the pandemic going on. Look into placement for him and see what you can come up with.
In the meantime, go to Alzheimers.org to find useful coping mechanisms to deal with his outbursts. Redirecting him is always a good idea. You can offer him a snack or start singing a song with him............anything to distract him away from what's causing him to yell and scream. Oftentimes, with this disease, they are unable to communicate their needs and so their frustration is shown by yelling and screaming. It's up to you to figure out what he really NEEDS when he's acting out, and then go about getting it for him in an effort to calm him down. Music is very good for people with dementia and can often calm them down instantly. Baby dolls can sometimes be helpful, even for men............human beings enjoy holding babies and swaddling them; it brings comfort and a sense of need back into their muddled and confused brains.
Here is what Alzheimers.org has to say on the subject of screaming & yelling: This behaviour can be very distressing for you and the person with dementia, and can negatively affect how you’re feeling around each other. There are many possible reasons for why a person with dementia is shouting or screaming. For example: they’re in pain or discomfort they’re attempting to communicate a need – for example, that they’re hungry or thirsty they’re feeling anxious, lonely or bored they don’t have enough to keep them engaged, or there’s too much going on they’re responding to a hallucination or misperception they’re finding it difficult to communicate the room or place they’re in may be uncomfortable for them, for example, too hot or cold, too dark or too noisy. Shouting and screaming – tips for carers Don’t ignore or talk over the person. Involve them in what is happening and explain what is going on. The behaviour may be a response to them not understanding your intentions. For example, if you’re helping them get dressed or undressed they may not understand why. Providing clear directions about what you’re doing and giving the person time can help. Try to make sure the person spends time with others and has things to engage their senses (such as smells that prompt memories or objects they can play with). Think about whether the environment could be causing the person distress or not meeting their needs. For example they may not be able to find the toilet, or bad lighting may be causing shadows, which can be confusing.
You can also call his doctor to request medication to calm him down; let the doctor know what's happening & request his help.
My other recommendation is to watch Teepa Snow videos on Youtube.com She has a wonderful way of helping you deal with dementia by understanding what THEY are going through, and responding to it accordingly. The best way to learn about something is to understand it. Check her out; she's awesome.
Rerita, it is time to start looking at your options. Tomorrow , call the Department of Aging and Adult Services in your county. You may have to wait, but they have social workers who can help you see what your options are. It is very hard to care for someone with dementia at home. I'm sure you are doing a great job but you probably could use some help. There is help out there for you. There are home health aides and senior care centers and places that will accept a short term respite placement.
But for rIght now, have you any family? Have you shared your struggles with them? It's common for spouses to protect the spouse with dementia by downplaying or hiding the problems. Maybe your family can help you if you let them know what you are going through.
It must be so hard to be locked in with him right now. This forum is full of people who will sympathize with you! I'm sure other people will have good advice.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In the meantime, go to Alzheimers.org to find useful coping mechanisms to deal with his outbursts. Redirecting him is always a good idea. You can offer him a snack or start singing a song with him............anything to distract him away from what's causing him to yell and scream. Oftentimes, with this disease, they are unable to communicate their needs and so their frustration is shown by yelling and screaming. It's up to you to figure out what he really NEEDS when he's acting out, and then go about getting it for him in an effort to calm him down. Music is very good for people with dementia and can often calm them down instantly. Baby dolls can sometimes be helpful, even for men............human beings enjoy holding babies and swaddling them; it brings comfort and a sense of need back into their muddled and confused brains.
Here is what Alzheimers.org has to say on the subject of screaming & yelling:
This behaviour can be very distressing for you and the person with dementia, and can negatively affect how you’re feeling around each other.
There are many possible reasons for why a person with dementia is shouting or screaming. For example:
they’re in pain or discomfort
they’re attempting to communicate a need – for example, that they’re hungry or thirsty
they’re feeling anxious, lonely or bored
they don’t have enough to keep them engaged, or there’s too much going on
they’re responding to a hallucination or misperception
they’re finding it difficult to communicate
the room or place they’re in may be uncomfortable for them, for example, too hot or cold, too dark or too noisy.
Shouting and screaming – tips for carers
Don’t ignore or talk over the person. Involve them in what is happening and explain what is going on.
The behaviour may be a response to them not understanding your intentions. For example, if you’re helping them get dressed or undressed they may not understand why. Providing clear directions about what you’re doing and giving the person time can help.
Try to make sure the person spends time with others and has things to engage their senses (such as smells that prompt memories or objects they can play with). Think about whether the environment could be causing the person distress or not meeting their needs. For example they may not be able to find the toilet, or bad lighting may be causing shadows, which can be confusing.
You can also call his doctor to request medication to calm him down; let the doctor know what's happening & request his help.
My other recommendation is to watch Teepa Snow videos on Youtube.com She has a wonderful way of helping you deal with dementia by understanding what THEY are going through, and responding to it accordingly. The best way to learn about something is to understand it. Check her out; she's awesome.
Best of luck!
But for rIght now, have you any family? Have you shared your struggles with them? It's common for spouses to protect the spouse with dementia by downplaying or hiding the problems. Maybe your family can help you if you let them know what you are going through.
It must be so hard to be locked in with him right now. This forum is full of people who will sympathize with you! I'm sure other people will have good advice.