Dad (83) has dementia and Parkinson’s. Limited mobility. Mom (79) has been primary caregiver, but recently we have been adding home caregiving to help with ADL’s. Mom adamant about not sending Dad to memory care. Yet she’s getting irritable and weary of caregivers in her home and invading her privacy. I’ve told her she can’t have it both ways. Too much risk of her trying to manage on her own. They have the monetary means for home health. The adjustment is not going well!
I also suggest seeing if they can find caregivers from an agency like Seniors Helping Seniors, where family can typically find caregivers with whom they can relate more easily.
This assumes that mom has the energy and desire to go somewhere else. If she's as exhausted as many of us long term caregivers are, she might opt for going to a quiet room in the home, closing the door, and taking a nap.
I personally resent and refuse to go along with the suggestion to leave my home when a caregiver shows up. I won't accept feeling driven out of my own home for respite. It takes a lot of energy to go somewhere, even for a walk sometimes,
Don't buy in to the idea that you have to leave your home to get respite. Find a way to make it work while you're home too, if you want,