My mom is in the end stages of Dementia, living at a Memory Care Facility within a mile of my home...Due to Covid-19; I have not been able to see her since March 17th (I used to see her 2x daily (and she had been thriving), except on Sundays (my brother would visit then) and am fortunate to FaceTime with her 6 days a week; however, I can feel her slipping away from me more and more every second of every minute of every conversation every time I talk to her.
I am grateful to have all those FaceTime memories, those bleeps of Mom but I can feel the end is nearing. I went and spoke with the Executive Director early today begging him to let me spend time with my mom before she loses her battle. I can't bear the thought of her not being there for her when she's struggling with everything. This is slowly killing me!! I am at a loss.
Executive Director just called and said So, sorry we can't let you see her but, I have to tell you the nurse called her Dr today because she's lost her appetite and you do have the option to take her home. I asked how many meals she had to miss before I could see her again... to which he said they would keep us posted. REALLY?? That's the best you can do! Help Me!!! Who has the final word at a Facility?
Your decision has to be based on what I always use - what can you live with? If you want to be near her, your home (or another sibling/relative) is really your only option at this point. You can also request hospice assistance in your home to get some nursing care and possibly other help via her medicare or insurance.
FloridaGirl, I don't know your personal situation, but I've got two 'absent' sisters, and no matter the decision I make, I expect to be criticized because everyone's level of what they can live with is unique. I've grown up and learned about myself a LOT since I've taken on this 'job' --and for that I am grateful. My best to you in this difficult time.
I have been living with my Dad for the last 3 years or so. When his level of care was get more than his quality of life. That’s what I did with my Dad.
I look at hospice as a fork in the road. I called Sutter hospice. Just knowing I and he had the control, is priceless. My father passed away in his home having contact with friends and family in communication with him.