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Occasionally my mom would talk to the person in the mirror. Sometimes she would call me into the room she was in to ask me who that person was. She didn't believe it was her, she would say "am I really that old?".
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kirahfaye May 2019
This is what I was wondering - perhaps mom sees her younger self in the mirror and that is who she is talking to. Or perhaps a childhood friend or family member. My own mom is now 84 with the beginning stages of dementia and ALZ and was quite a beauty in her younger years (still looks good for her age). I have to wonder what her reaction will be to mirrors as the conditions progress.....
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It sounds like Mom has a good friend in the mirror. :) Nothing wrong with that. She is happy, let her be. Perhaps you can say "Hey Mom! Can you introduce me to your friend in the mirror? I'd love to say Hello!" see what she does.
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This is fascinating. And I love it.
My Husband was pretty much non-verbal for the last 7 years of his life. On rare occasions he might say a word and he would make noises but that was it. I would have loved to hear a conversation. And in this case I would love to hear the conversation. Is she talking about things that happened recently or years ago? Is she telling the person in the mirror about her life or is it about what happened to the lady down the hall?
I also wonder "who" she sees? Is it her or possibly her mother, sister or is it someone she does/did not know before this? (I look in my mirror sometimes and wonder where the old lady came from! )

Gut reaction if the person in the mirror is not causing any anxiety I would not worry about it. And I would listen in on the conversations and see if you can learn anything.

BTW..IMO I doubt any of the medications for Dementia are doing anything for her at this point. If these are medications you / she is paying for you might want to talk to the doctor about discontinuing them.
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Mmendall May 2019
To answer your question, starting with the who, I think she made this person up. My mother has had Dementia for about 10 years, but has not reverted back to a younger age. She actually complains about being so old. I think due to her socialization (she is part of The Degree of Pocahontas) there are a lot of older ladies, so she thinks it just another friend. She has never given the person a name or tried to explain her. She will talk about the past, her feelings, and things that just happened or things as the happen(for example we live across from a school so she hears the children and start talking about how much fun they are having). She always talks about her specific experiences rather than anyone else's.

I actually will stand around the corner and listen to her. Sometimes she will let "her" know if she is cold or anxious and I can scoop in and fix those things for her. Sometimes she can't think of specific words so she says the poppers. I'm still not sure why she uses that word or what its means (it can mean many things, I just have to use context clues. It's her go to fill in the blank word.) She also talks about the machines a lot. In this case I think she is actually talking about machines, but anything from and elevator to a car can be a machine.

She also expresses her frustration to the mirror. I think this helps a lot because she shows no signs of aggressive behavior. If she is upset with something she will find the mirror and vent.

Her medication just slows down the process so she stays at this level. Otherwise she probably would be able to speak or even walk for that matter.
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Yes. All that. FTD Took 9 years for doctors to realize.
They guessed menopause and PTSD from childhood abuse.
They administered alzheimer's drugs that have crippled her.

https://www.nextavenue.org/ftd-dementia-misdiagnosed/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIg-_V7IWE4gIVjMpkCh1PxgUqEAMYASAAEgKxoPD_BwE

We have learned much about the workings of the FTD mind. It is puzzling that personality traits such as the mirror person are common.

Christy was hellish. Now she is a hoot.
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Mmendall May 2019
The neurologist told my father that it couldn't be FTD because she would have declined very quickly, but from what you are saying that is not the case. They told him she wouldn't be able to talk. She has had Dementia for about 10 years I would say but was diagnosed about 3 years ago. It took about 3 years to even get in to see a neurologist.
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My husband has Parkinson's and also has hallucinations, sees people, animals, ants crawling across the counter when there are none. Neurologist prescribed a new medication for him, but I declined after reading up on the side effects, one of which was HALLUCINATIONS! Anyway, from all I have read, as long as the hallucinations are not threatening, it's probably best to just let them happen. I ask him regularly if he has had any "visitors" and they seem to have left the building. Since we moved to a new home in January, he has had very few events. Used to have a "whole family" living with us in the old house. Guess they didn't want to make the move! ;>) In your mom's case, it seems to be a source of comfort, so no harm no foul. Blessings
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As long as it's a positive thing for her, making her laugh and interact I would simply marvel at the way her mind is taking care of her even though the disease is taking it away. Watch and learn the wonders of the human spirit and enjoy watching her be happy and at peace. What a sweet wonderful thing her friend in the mirror is.
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jjmummert May 2019
Oh, I agree. I was fascinated reading of this situation.
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My wife talked to the girl in the mirror for a long time. My wife is the most delightful person you’d ever meet. She was/is beautiful. She was extremely popular. Very! As an RN she was compassion personified. And the girl in the mirror?  The same.  I know because I was introduced to her. My wife would talk to her often. Sometime they’d laugh, sometimes she’d be venting - just getting things off her chest. Well my wife could not talk well anymore and everything came out a guttural croaking not understandable. Couldn’t really talk to anybody, even me. Ah so. But the “girl” understood. And so I decided the girl in the mirror was a perfect social outlet for my SW.  

She was very concerned about the girl when we left the house and her having enough to eat or a place to sleep. I had to work around that. I set an extra place at the table. I put a mirror on the table at meal times. SW made a place for her to sleep. 

I read where one woman pulled down the visor mirror in her car so her mother could talk to her friend while they drove. One man’s father got extremely upset because the man in the mirror mimicked his gestures so the son had to turn the mirror around - the old man just got too upset. 

I believe the relationship to the person in the mirror reflects the basic personality of the demented observer. It can be productive (my SW) or not (the old man). If it is a productive relationship leave it be and go along with it. If not make the mirror disappear. It can be a perfect but harmless social outlet for the demented person trapped within their demented mind.
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Mmendall May 2019
If you don't mind me asking, do you know what form of Dementia your wife has?
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I would say that she is very blessed to have found a way to self comfort and entertain with this wretched disease.

As odd as it seems it really is nothing to worry about. My granny talked to her baby doll and it was a tremendous comfort to her.

With this disease the only understandable thing is that there is no understanding.

Hugs!
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I have a relative in her 60s with mental retardation. Her mind is that of a 10-year-old. As is common with such people, her mind is aging faster than normal, so she has mild dementia now too.

She's done the talking to the mirror thing for years. Usually mumbles to it, because she knows other people are nearby and would hear. She also talks to imaginary people, but doesn't speak. Looks like normal talking but no voice! It's like watching a TV on mute. If you ask who she's talking to, she says "Oh, nobody." She tries to cover it up and would never admit to it if you asked her why.
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Mmendall May 2019
This is exactly what she does. It's nice to know that someone else out there has done the same thing.
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My mom has vascular dementia. I've never seen her actively have a conversation with someone, but she does have imaginary people that visit. She will suddenly say, "Where did everyone go?" or "Where is that little girl that was just here?" Sometimes she sees dogs. We have three little dogs and she will say there is a fourth one sitting on the rug. I found out that some of her imaginary people weren't being too nice to her, so I told her that they were not allowed to come to my house anymore. Apparently she told them because they haven't been back that I've heard.
From what I've read this seems to be pretty common in dementia patients. Some do have conversations with these people. I've learned to just play along. If she asks me where everyone went I tell her they have their own homes and responsibilities and so they must have gone home. Sometimes I tell her they said they will be back later in the week. Sometimes she actually gets miffed at them because they didn't say goodbye to her before they left! Once she told me that one of them said that one of my dogs was hers. I said she'd better back off from my dog or she isn't welcome in my house! Mom said she wasn't going to get in the middle of that. Haha!
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Many here talk about dementia being a slow reversion to childhood. My daughter when she was three had a imaginary friend named Nina. Nina was a real to her and the other members of our family. Nina was a comfort to my daughter, who had experienced some trauma.

So perhaps your mother needs this friend in the mirror just as my daughter needed Nina.

We never tried to convince my dd that Nina was not real. We made room for her in the car, at the table and on holidays. If anyone thought it was strange that we talked about Nina, when there was only one girl with us, we did not care.

After about 2 years, when our dd went to school, she left her behind. Nina attended kindergarten for the first few weeks, then stayed home, and soon was forgotten.
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Mmendall May 2019
The interesting thing about my mother is that she does not revert back to a younger age. She will tell me shes an old lady! It's as if she has made a completely different persona for herself. She won't talk about the person in the mirror unless she actually sees her reflection. It just so baffling.
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There was one woman at my mom's nursing home who had conversations with someone only she could see, she actually paused as if hearing a reply. In a way it's kind of sweet, isn't it 🤗
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Mmendall May 2019
See the thing silly part to me is my mom will only talk to "the lady in the mirror." She physically has to see someone to have a conversation. The neurologist even said it's not a delusion. It's like she is two different people! She makes herself so happy in the mirror, laughing and dancing. Then she looks lost or confused sometimes when she is doing any other activity. It's so wild!
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