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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She uses a bedside commode and I’m fine with that but when she stands to use it, she loses control and pees on the floor. She’s recovering from a broken hip and says it too hard to pull pants up and down.
She spent nights at my home but was at her home during the day, before she fell. Incontinence wasn’t an issue. I think she’s having trouble pulling pants up and down during her recovery time. She doesn’t want to wear anything except a nightgown with nothing underneath. I’m sure it’s easier to maneuver this way.
My mother does this. Nightgown and no underwear. She says she can get on the toilet faster. Which used to be the case. Not anymore. Peeing before she can even get to the toilet.
I wouldn't be rushing straight to a psych eval or NH yet!
But I would be asking questions - starting with Mom.
".. and says it too hard to pull pants up and down".
Why??
Q. Is this a balance issue? Being able to balance while holding a walking frame/letting go the frame while trying to wrangle the pants? If so, this equates to assistance being required from another person.
Q. Is this a pride issue? Misguided refusal to ask for help, thinking this makes her still independent? (Ignoring you having to clean up of course).
Both of these would get a 'get over it Mom' response from me.
Just use blunt common sense. You had surgery. You need a little help while you recover. For goodness sake, wear these pullups style briefs until you are recovered. I will help. Then go back to regular underwear.
PS Does Mom have help on call? Because if she is *assist x 1* but no-one is home/available when she needs help, you may need another solution.
Mom didn't have any broken bones, but incontinence for her was same--she would pee all over the floor, commode seat, her legs, pants, socks, slippers.....when she stood at the commode. She just couldn't get turned around and get sweatpants down and then lower herself quick enough. It was too much for her brain to tell her body to do. When she came to live with me, that was the line in the sand. Either she wear depends or she can't stay here. It is just too much work for me to clean her, her clothes, the floor, commode, the hallway and everywhere else she walked/sat when she had to pee. It took 6 months to get the depends to be a routine for her because of dementia. Her dementia progressed to the point now I have to toilet her every 2-3 hours during day. I don't let her use the commode by herself any longer. At night she uses a top quality overnight brief (sometimes with liner). She rarely gets up during the night now, but it was a struggle for her to come to finally peeing in the overnight brief instead of getting up. Whether your mom's incontinence problem is due to her broken hip, stubbornness, or beginning of dementia doesn't matter. Unless you want your house to reek of urine, insisting she wear depends is a must. For insurance and peace of mind you may consider actually toileting her in this transition time.
She needs a mental health evaluation because this behavior is outside the limit of normal. There is no reasoning with her because her brain isn’t functioning correctly. Next to a facility that can handle this complex problem. Good luck.
Incontinence should be the line in the sand to put her in a facility. Especially if she's (essentially) purposely doing it because she's refusing to pull down her pants.
She needs help on the commode and to wear adult briefs, both. She's living in your home and if she'd like to continue with that privilege, then she has to play by your house rules. Cleaning up urine all day bc she's "refusing" to wear Depends that will solve that problem is no longer acceptable mom. Once she's fully recovered and having no more accidents, then she can ditch the Depends.
LOs said/believed they didn't need Depends - but when I saw wet clothing & furniture I begged to differ. Just matter of fact: I see this - therefore wear the appropriate garments in my house or car - or do not enter.
Did she live with you before the broken hip? Did she go to rehab after the break? Did she already have incontinence? Is she just not wearing underwear at all? Is there anything you can put down on the floor where she stands up and/or around the commode that wouldn't be a trip hazard? Towel? Rug?
That was my thought. My mom broke her femur and was bot incontinent, after 8 weeks in rehab she was incontinent they complained about it at our weekly meetings. My response was she was continent before she came in here. Maybe you need to respond to her potty calls instead of coming in and saying ok then not return for an hour. I said I would of been incontinent too. .
My mom gave up wearing pants and tops and moved into the world of housecoats and muu-muus. She also experienced bladder leakage upon standing and only had a minute to get her pants off--many times not making it at all.
Changing out to clothing that was easier to put on and take off and was breezier and lighter made a huge difference.
Before she made the clothing change on her own--she was always wetting herself and smelled pretty bad. We had to have that uncomfortable conversation with her about the smell and the fact that her bed & chairs had been soaked a few times. After she accepted that this was the new norm for her, she changed her clothing. And we insisted that she wear minimally a pad in her underwear. If she'll change it frequently, it's much better.
Have you talked to mom about the hassle of cleaning up after the fact? Once mom understood that--it was easier to help her help herself.
How does she not go to the bathroom on her muumuu and/or housecoat? I had to take my. mom's bathrobes away due to finding poop on them a couple times. Nope. Not in my house - especially since she had no clue that she'd gotten poop on it and would have been sitting here, there, everywhere, spreading it all around. So. Gross.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I wouldn't be rushing straight to a psych eval or NH yet!
But I would be asking questions - starting with Mom.
".. and says it too hard to pull pants up and down".
Why??
Q. Is this a balance issue? Being able to balance while holding a walking frame/letting go the frame while trying to wrangle the pants? If so, this equates to assistance being required from another person.
Q. Is this a pride issue?
Misguided refusal to ask for help, thinking this makes her still independent? (Ignoring you having to clean up of course).
Both of these would get a 'get over it Mom' response from me.
Just use blunt common sense. You had surgery. You need a little help while you recover. For goodness sake, wear these pullups style briefs until you are recovered. I will help. Then go back to regular underwear.
PS Does Mom have help on call? Because if she is *assist x 1* but no-one is home/available when she needs help, you may need another solution.
I had to install my house + my car rules.
LOs said/believed they didn't need Depends - but when I saw wet clothing & furniture I begged to differ. Just matter of fact: I see this - therefore wear the appropriate garments in my house or car - or do not enter.
Changing out to clothing that was easier to put on and take off and was breezier and lighter made a huge difference.
Before she made the clothing change on her own--she was always wetting herself and smelled pretty bad. We had to have that uncomfortable conversation with her about the smell and the fact that her bed & chairs had been soaked a few times. After she accepted that this was the new norm for her, she changed her clothing. And we insisted that she wear minimally a pad in her underwear. If she'll change it frequently, it's much better.
Have you talked to mom about the hassle of cleaning up after the fact? Once mom understood that--it was easier to help her help herself.