She hasn't been around a dog full time in a while until I moved her in with me last year. I'm now having to separate my dog from her when I'm not at home to monitor their interactions. I'm not getting rid of my dog, I'm not putting him in a cage, I'm not putting a muzzle on him, and I'm not placing my mother in a home. Would appreciate any other help or suggestions than what I listed. I'm a part time student in college online and work full-time during the day. She has a care giver in the afternoons during the week. I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do. My dog loves my mom and wouldn't hurt anyone unprovoked. She also thinks he bites her when all he does is snaps at her when she touches him the wrong way. I've tried to tell her when to touch him and when to not touch him, but she won't listen to me.
They need to be separated at all times .
I know that’s not what you want to hear .
It’s unrealistic to think they can learn to get along .
Educate yourself regarding dementia .
Mom is likely not safe home alone at all anymore ( even if there were no pets ) . Is there adult daycare available near you , or doggie daycare ?
A dog who displayed persistent snapping behavior would end up deemed unadoptable and swiftly euthanized in the shelter where I worked.
Your dog is quite old and in no mood to be touched where he doesn't want to be touched.
You are presenting us with an impossible situation, of your own making, then asking for "help or suggestions" which do not include getting rid of the dog, putting him in a kennel, muzzling him, or placing mom in a Memory Care Assisted Living residence. Wait till there's a crisis and the decisions are taken out of your hands? That seems to be the only option, awful as it is.
When I was a small child, my mother insisted on keeping a mean old cocker spaniel who had to have the hair pulled out of his ears on a regular basis, according to mom, and she was the one to do it. Which I'm sure contributed to his bad temper. One day I was lying on the floor reminding the dog how bad he was for growling at the men laying down the new carpet that day. I didn't even touch him. He bit me across the bridge of my 5 year old nose, hard, and would not let go, till he was pried off by my mother.
The dog was put down and mom said it was my fault for blaming him for being a bad dog. I'm 67 years old and still have indentations in my nose where I lost cartilage from that dog bite. One doctor felt my nose was going to collapse from the trauma. As yet, it hasn't and probably won't.
Its a wise idea to rethink your stubborn outlook on this situation before you find yourself with a crisis on your hands. I hope that doesn't happen.
Good luck.
"My dog loves my mom and wouldn't hurt anyone unprovoked. She also thinks he bites her when all he does is snaps at her when she touches him the wrong way. I've tried to tell her when to touch him and when to not touch him, but she won't listen to me."
You have your answers already, you listed the options in your first paragraph.
You are describing a dangerous situation; worse, you are being willfully blind to the fact that your dog is ALREADY showing dangerous behavior to your mom.
How will you feel if your dog mauls your mom, causing her irreparable damage, and then the authorities take your dog away and put him down because he has injured someone?
You can attempt to call a trainer; but it will cost you big bucks, and they will tell you the same thing. It is NOT SAFE to have your mom and your dog together - and I have more bad news for you...your presence might not be enough to deter your dog biting your mom. They can move way faster than you or I can. And many dogs become more unpredictable as they get older and are in more pain.
Do yourself a favor and find someone who can give your poor dog a loving home in his senior years where there is neither an elderly person with dementia or young children. A mini-pin rescue association can probably help you place him.
You have a mother who is being SNAPPED AT by your dog. While small, minis can do a bit of damage. Your mom is at risk.
Unless you are very unsavvy about both DOGS and ALZHEIMER'S you have been warned that this is a dangeroous situation.
I live in a city that has a "Vicious and Dangerous Dog Court" (that is the name of it). It was created when two Presa Canario dogs tore a young woman to pieces in the hallway of her apartment building. She was merely ignoring them and entering her own door down the hall; the woman holding the presas, who had "snapped at" people and dogs in the dog park and the postal worker, could not control them, and once the blood lust was up they simple shredded her to death. Second incident was the deal breaker when a mom left her 12 years or so old son home alone with two pittie mixes.
She returned home to the slaughter of her son. Excuse? The male wasn't neutered.
You have asked us a question without an answer, then, haven't you?
You tell us the situation (which, by the way is quite dire).
Then you have told us that you will not put your mother in a facility and you will not get rid of your dog.
What are we to say to you?
"Hope for the best"?
Because that's about it. Good luck. Hope for the best.
By the way, I am a dog lover. To me they are family. I have volunteered many decades at our animal shelter and especially loved the "bully dogs". I have placed many dogs and currently, at 82, am fostering another.
When a dog puts its teeth on another dog or a human, or threatens to, it is NOT OK. While a mini pin is not a big doberman, and is unlikely to kill, it can maim.
You seem in your message to us to be less than receptive to answers you don't want to hear. Just know, when you write to an open forum you may well hear answers that you don't wish to. That's how the system works. I can only hope for the sake of all involved here, that you make the tough decisions. Because I cannot imagine anyone saying that this ongoing situation is OK.
Do remember, at 13, your mini is getting on him/herself, and may be a tad senile himself, in all likelihood. They are know to be a bit snappy as it is. Elders have terribly fragile skin.
Soon Mom will not be alone in any case, if that is even feasible now at all. A good large carrier can often be not a punishment to a small dog, when needed, but a haven if it is well fitted out.
Good luck, but don't take chances here. As others have told you here, this is an obligation to your mother you have taken on. You are responsible for any bad outcomes here.
"My dog loves my mom and wouldn't hurt anyone unprovoked."
Snapping at a human is a warning behavior. Your dog feels threatened. A snap isn't cute, sweet, funny, or adorable. A snap can become a bite in a split second. Your mom is in danger.
You are not willing to change. You have unrealistic expectations of both dog and mom. This will go on as it is until mom becomes seriously hurt.
I'll tell you what I would do based on what you have told us. If I were a neighbor, friend, or a bystander who knew the situation, I'd call Adult Protective Services and tell them that I know a vulnerable dementia patient who is in danger. They'd investigate the situation and probably remove your mom from your home so she can live somewhere else in safety. If mom is mauled or killed by the dog, animal control would probably euthanize the dog.
I love dogs. I'm sorry for all of you. But you need to fix what you've started. How you do it is up to you.
You made the choice to move your mom in with you, so now you have to live with the consequences of having to keep your dog away from her.
Other than hiring a dog walker or sitter to look out for your dog while you're away, I don't think there are any other good options.
And on top of that you perhaps need to better educate yourself about the horrible disease of dementia, so you will be more understanding with your mom and her broken brain.
I always suggest the book The 36 Hour Day as a good place to start, along with Teepa Snow's(a dementia expert)videos on YouTube.
Expectations = premeditated resentment
People with dementia cannot learn/retain new things. YOU are the only one that can change. She will only get worse over time. Dementia robs people of their ability to use reason and logic. They have declining memory and retention. They become childish, paranoid, negative, lack empathy for others, etc.
No amount of "telling" or putting up signs to remind her (a common back-up plan) will alter the fact that dementia now prevents her from adjusting to changes in her environment.
Teepa Snow has excellent videos on YouTube about dementia and strategies on how to engage your LO for more productive and peaceful interactions. I learned a lot from her expert dementia and caregiving advice.
I wish you much wisdom and peace in your heart as you figure out your priorities.