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I am not sure what I would do if I were you. If my townhouse were attached to hers, I would worry about her leaving the stove on or some other potential risk to you and your property.
If you think she is a danger to herself and others, you could anonymously call The Office of Adult Services. They focus on the needs of the elderly and vulnerable adults.
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Anon,

Your neighbor sounds like a pain in the a**.

I would be upset with your HOA. What a disappointment they are!

I like your idea of printing photos as evidence. It’s interesting that the police didn’t want to see your Ring footage.

Look at how Amazon delivery thefts have been caught on camera. A picture is worth a thousand words. Keep a record of these incidents.

Sadly, even if you do ignore her antics, she may continue being a bother to you.

Many of us have dealt with annoying neighbors. I allowed my neighbor to use my vacuum cleaner because her vacuum cleaner broke.

She returned the vacuum to me. A few moments later she asked me to look through the vacuum cleaner bag to see if I could find her earring that she might have vacuumed up. LOL 😆. I took the bag off and told her that I was allergic to dust but she was perfectly welcome to look through the bag herself.

Another time she borrowed eggs, then flour, then butter, etc. I asked her, “Do you want me to bake your cake for you?” Hahaha 🤣

Then there was the old woman who was hunched over in the street. When I asked her what she was doing? She replied, “Weeding the cracks in the street.” I was quite taken aback with that one!

Good luck in resolving this issue
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I would leave them alone
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What DID you report them for?

I woukd stick with working with the HOA. They have far greater powers and latitude than the police. And a greater stake in a good outcome.
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Anonymous321 Feb 2023
To the HOA:
Loose dogs (owners & guests). Not picking up poop. throwing poop in the woods behind our home. Stealing a shepherds hook from our rear area. Cutting our bushes along their driveway without permission. Parking in our driveway without permission (visitors). Blocking our driveway (owners & guests).Throwing poop bags at our front door that I had given her the day before…

Any HOA complaints are supposed to be in confidentialities but the HOA has told him each and every time it’s me

It had been my determination initially that she was a liar based on so many lies that she’s told but now I’m starting to wonder if it’s dementia or not…
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Install exterior cameras on your property both frontyard and backyard placed at an angle that shows you in relation to their property. If you ever need to prove that you were minding your own business, this is the way. There are plenty of low-cost security outdoor cameras that you can hook up to your internet and can monitor and control from your smartphone. Those cameras also record sound, which you have every right to do on your property. Cameras will give you peace-of-mind.

Check with your town police department to see if you need to register your cameras once installed. And you are under no obligation to inform your neighbors of these cameras.

When they yell at you, make a note of the date and time and after a few instances, call the police and report them for harassment. Hope that helps to get them moved out and into appropriate care settings.

As others have said, do not have contact with any of them. Should anyone ask you for help just say "No" and walk away. And note the date and time they contacted you.
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Anonymous321 Feb 2023
I have a Ring doorbell in the front. Ring motion camera/lights in the rear. The detective was not interested in seeing any of it? I’m trying to print off screen shots of them on my property… Is there a way to circumvent this one particular detective and find someone who’s mind is not made up?
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I wouldn’t have anything to do with your neighbors. They seem to be the type of people who only care about themselves.

They expect you to be neighborly towards them when they aren’t the least bit concerned about being neighborly with you.

Life is too short to waste your time on your neighbor’s nonsense.
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Anonymous321 Feb 2023
I won’t be helping anymore, but now I feel threatened.
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Lots of good advice from others as to: DO NOT INTERACT. Stop being a good neighbor. She will continue to accuse you as that is fixated for her brain as to what you are….. the old bat has dementia. Should she knock at the door, say you did not hear her as you were wearing noise cancelling headphones (& buy a pr if u don’t have some)

Imho You want whatever concerns to flow from the HOA; they have the authority to make them move. Where you live oh so does not want to have itself known as a place where the those with dementia wander about at will, yell for help or where fire department has to be called regularly as 1 spouse cannot be picked up by the other. Once HOA has a series of incidents like this on paper, your neighbors will have to move. The old lady knows how to “show dog” to police and authorities but she won’t be able to keep up the facade and HOA will have to act on getting them out.

Also please go to any HOA meetings and if there is a garden club or other civic group within your HoA, please join it. Even if that’s so not your personality. It will enable you to quietly shape the narrative on getting them booted.

Really look at you own HOA agreement, Betcha it’s got old school type of covenants which allow for HOA to get them to move under safety and security of themselves AND other residents type of clause.

As an aside on this drama, Anon321 a ? for you, any idea IF the child (a Son, I bet) that bought the townhome bought it 100% with their $ entirely OR bought it with the parents $? Just spitballin’ here but I’d be wondering if the Son did this as a way to move parents $ into a new asset that is in-theory exempt for LTC Medicaid. Most of the time, having elderly at the edge of needing a facility buying a new house not a good idea; usually kids want to have the parents downsize to IL or AL with services provided so that there is no upkeep or maintenance anymore & have $$$ on hand to private pay for care later on when needed. Something abt the financials sounds odd to me.
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Anonymous321 Feb 2023
I asked the detective what I’m supposed to do when they approach my home…physically or verbally…and I don’t want anymore contact with them and he said the warning was going to go both ways. That he was going to speak to her after he left my door… I assume they are going to try and be more careful going forward.

The HOA is aware and no help at all. Should I go silent or continue to keep the HOA updates. FYI: the neighbors real estate agent is on the board and, I believe, supporting them:(

There is a lot that’s fishy. The fire department is always in here picking seniors up off the floor, etc. etc. etc. Could they be trying to build a case to oust me? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

They have:
1) stolen a shepherds hook prior
2) park in my driveway/block my driveway
3) let their dog run free and don’t pick up it’s messes
4) rang my doorbell and thanked me for things and rang my doorbell to yell at me
5) there’s more…

Dont remember seeing anything in covenants RE: moving, etc… I don’t know about the financials; however, the real estate/board member is always moving in elders that don’t make it here long. It’s a racquet, I believe. A very sick and sad racquet…but very profitable for him and the board.
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There is an HOA. We live in a townhouse community…
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Just to clarify, the daughter came to me and asked me to help with the dog in December. I agreed to help. She never followed through? When I told the detective that the other day, his response was “now why would they ask you and then not follow through?” Clearly, he didn’t believe me.
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AlvaDeer Feb 2023
I think lots of folks ask for advice and don't take it. The detective was wrong if that was his thinking. I would steer clear of these folks and if you call APS for wellness checks I would ask you remain anonymous because of worries about the family. This is a hard situation, but it IS self-limiting I would think. The family is actually checking and I imagine at some point it might be clear that this can't go on. I understand your concerns, for certain, and if there is dementia here there are even safety concerns. But I would steer clear and watch. Hope you will update us. Keep a diary. And like JoAnn I am wondering if there is a Home Owners Assn here? Because there are safety concerns.
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If you have a HOA then record what is going on and place a complaint. You are entitled to have a peaceful life and enjoy ur patio. Maybe when your out there, wear voice canceling headphones. That way u can ignore her. If she gets aggressive than u can call the police or report it to HOA. I agree, ignore it. And NEVER volunteer because then your stuck doing the job. I found that when I volunteered I was more likely expected to do it. If they asked and I could do it I did it, if asked again I could turn them down easier.

Things are going to escalate and this woman's children will have to do something. Poor man, he is dying and no one seems to care.
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Agreeing with the other posters. None of this is your drama. Ignore them. No contact. If you feel there is a life threatening emergency, dial 911.
Go about your life as if they do not exist.
This is not your drama, It's theirs! Don't make it yours! Do not contact the family. Do not help them. No contact. Ignore.

I know it's hard, but you need to protect yourself and that's the only way you can do it, other than moving. And, more than likely - if this escalates - you will be the one who winds up moving.

Edited to add: I am speaking from my 10 years experience as a 911 Dispatcher.
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Anonymous321 Feb 2023
Just to clarify, the daughter came to me and asked me to help with the dog in December. I agreed to help. She never followed through? When I told the detective that the other day, his response was “now why would they ask you and then not follow through?” Clearly, he didn’t believe me. The other issue is that the woman is always yelling to/at me outside…
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No contact is the only way. If you need to call the police for altercations and yelling then do so. Ask for a wellness check on the elderly couple next door who seem in distress. You will only be able to do this a few times so choose them with great care. You may want to ask to APS wellness check and basically tell them what you have learned--what you told us. Leave it to them to contact family.
If you can stay COMPLETELY out of it that is then what I would do. Make recordings, though and keep a diary. Push may come to shove. This is likely a self-correcting thing in that the family IS nearby, likely IS frantic about what can be done about this, and likely IS upset.
Are other neighbors affected? This isn't a condo, with a condo association I am assuming? Sorry, other than a violent couple with guns moving in this is next up for just what you don't want next door, and it's likely to only get worse. Wish I had better news.
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Anonymous321 Feb 2023
Just to clarify, the daughter came to me and asked me to help with the dog in December. I agreed to help. She never followed through? When I told the detective that the other day, his response was “now why would they ask you and then not follow through?” Clearly, he didn’t believe me. The other issue is that the woman is always yelling to/at me outside… This is a townhome community with an HOA; however, the owners on the other side are not full time.
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You need to go no contact with these folks. Let it play out however it plays out, but without your input. Avoid being outside when anyone from that family is there too. Don't talk about them to other neighbors. Don't worry about the dog. Don't call their family. You've gone over and above to help them, but no one's happy including you.

It's always nice to be a good neighbor, but you've already assessed the situation and see where it's going. Jump out of the way and avoid the crash. It's coming.
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Just stay away from them and don't offer or help in anyway. The only exception is calling the police if needed or APS or the humane society as things get worse and if they or the dog is in danger or being neglected.
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When you hear them argue...you call the police for the disturbance.
If their mail is put in your box write on it "delivered to wrong address" and place it back in your box. The post office will deliver it to the correct address next time. DO not place anything in their mail box or go onto their property.
If you have an HOA bring some of your concerns about noise to the attention of the HOA, if it is a violation they will notify the residents.
Do not walk their dog for free of for payment.
I guess bottom line is back off...have as little to do with them as possible.
If you truly think they are in danger, if there are VALID reasons that can be proven that they can not safely live alone contact APS but do not make that call if the concerns are not valid. If you make calls for no reason when there is a real concern they may not take the call seriously.
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sp19690 Feb 2023
Great advice on all fronts grandma.
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