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sandrak320,

It depends on your definition of " I won't drive my kids insane with my need to have a close relationship with them every day of my life." Just how close is close enough before it starts to feel like a parent to child relationship instead of an adult to adult relationship.

If you are looking to return to some sort of childhood closeness, that is gone.
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All I can say is good luck...some days are good, shine days are bad,...try to take care of you...n Dont feel bad...try not to....even if you need help...tell people...ask for help from doctors n friends,... anyone the more you talk n let people know around you...let others help...are you having panic attacks yet?...mine have increased to stress attacks....and my finances have all but crumbled...holding things by a thread...get her to join something...it's hard...but if you can get her into anything that is for adult day care...even an hour...my mom goes to the hair dresser a few hours...but...it's not enough even with the multiple shopping trips...nothing is even enough...take care of yourself...watch your health...do for you too...
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I have to take Mom to Dr. right now, but just found this site. I am 75 and my mother is 92, and I have the exact same issues as many of you. When I return I will take the time to read all of these posts, as I am at my wits' end, depressed (medication notwithstanding), anxious (same with medication), guilty (only child). Since at our living arrangements Mom (and Dad when he was here) had their apartment at our house. My issues with Mom have been lifelong, but serious issues did not arise until she could not get out and socialize and I retired. Then my husband passed away. I can't afford a therapist, and my friends are disgusted with me because I don't see someone. Hope to get back to this soon later today or tomorrow. Thanks for all your comments.
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