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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I have already put in writing to my kids that they have no obligation to care for me. I don't want any heroic medical interventions or treatments that would prolong my life but reduce the quality of it. I am working on saving for my future and doing as much as possible to stay healthy. I want my kids to have no guilt if I have to go into care or they make a decision to deny medical care that inevitably will end my life. I would rather my kids pursue their dreams and make positive contributions to society than give it all up to look after me. The system is broken in many ways, lack of personal responsibility, a desire to keep loved ones alive with extensive medical intervention, and the cost of elderly care. I don't think this situation will change and I never want my kids to have the pain, exhaustion, frustration, and destruction of their lives that caring for someone can cause.
We all say this, but many of us still indulge in it. You’re in your 70s, a health crisis emerges and the vast mafority are gonna have that stroke operation or induction chemo. Then come home alive but with deteriorating function as time goes on, and as long as there’s some nice Medicare doctor who promises you the next surgery, the next hope, you’ll take it.
Until there are no offers, at which point they are stuck with the cost of paying 200000 a year in 247 aides, or 150k in nursing care, up until you can somewhat convince the government to pay for it while keeping the house with heirs in it?
Im technically a boomer, but even I can understand why the millennials are infuriated.
Dying in the U.S. has become a huge profitable business industry. All the private agencies that provide care for the elderly are extremely expensive. Many families can't afford it and have to take care of their elderly at home. Even the medical establishment is part of tat industry by extending people's lives unnecessarily. They continue to perform life saving operations on people who are over 90. Just to keep them breathing for a few more months. Meantime, the savings that these people made, with hard work and much sacrifice are exhausted practically for nothing worthy, while the establishment gets richer.
The agencies are way less expensive than Milk of Medicare shelling out literally millions on procedures that promise three years more, maybe five. CarT, stem cell or other transplants, multiple stroke operations, may elongate ones life but with decline that now means the agencies or al or snf are brought in, and then it’s like surprised pikachu face. You really didn’t have to pay anything for the nice lady who slipped a suppository up my butt or a bedpan under it, and now I have to?
I'm 89 years old. When I get seriously ill, I'll stop all my prescription medicines and will go to hospice to receive palliative care and wait to die. I do not want by any means, to have my life extended into a useless and miserable existence. My children will be spared from taking care of me. I love them too much to make them go through such punishment. They don't deserve that. Their job is to look after their own immediate families. I didn't bring them into the world to be my caregivers.
Caregiving seems to skip a generation. My mother said her grandfather was confined to a bed in their house after a stroke. When my grandfather’s health failed, she did little more than the occasional visit. Once she became unable to care for herself she expected me to leave my husband and children to care for her. I have informed my kids that, while I’d appreciate help transitioning into senior care, they must not become my caregivers. I’m scatterbrained at the best of times and I’d hate to develop dementia and abuse my wonderful kids.
I am caring for my mom in her home, going on 5 months now. It’s exhausting and the most stressful job I’ve ever had. I told my 22 year old daughter that she better never think of doing this for me. I told her to put me in a nursing home. I don’t ever want to put this burden on my child.
I had a discussion with someone the same gen as I. Went like this;
"What if I get old?" 🧐 you WILL get old (or die young & not have to worry). "What if I can't look after myself, can't cook or clean?" 🧐 you'll get meals delivered & hire a cleaner. "But that will cost Money!!" 🧐 Yes. "What if I start to lose my marbles?" 🧐 Then you'll stay home as long as sensible, then move somewhere with more help. 😱😱😱 "No no no. I wouldn't want to move!! I like my home. What about my things? I have family! They will take care of me. They will have to move in & look after me". 🧐 So.. you expect family to quit their job, get no wage, leave their home, spouse, kids, pets, hobbies & move in to ensure YOUR life does not change in any way.
It's a cultural thing in some cases, so that's not going away.
In other cases, it's a case of the parents failing to adequately plan for retirement. (Hint: "Saving for retirement" doesn't just mean going on cruises. It means saving for the ugly stuff.) That, too, isn't going away.
In yet other cases, it's guilt, obligation, and weird dynamics that make children of parents who didn't parent take care of them anyway. That's not going away.
And in many cases, it's considered an honor to care for one's loved ones as their lives come to a close the way they cared for us as our lives began. That was my case, and I certainly hope that doesn't go away.
In short, I don't know that it's necessarily "expected" by that many people that their children will take care of them, except perhaps the cultural scenarios. Life and "stuff" happens, and I'd guess most of us really didn't see our caregiving roles coming. What we do have is an obligation to make a better effort to prepare than our parents did if indeed they didn't prepare adequately and to make the job less onerous on our children if at all possible.
It’s wrong to take anyone for granted. Life has far too many unexpected turns to be able to plan for every eventuality. We all should be planning for ourselves while also knowing the best of plans can go awry. I’d never want my adult children to be my caregivers, but I’d sure hope they’d advocate for me if I couldn’t do it myself. And when the generation now in their early adulthood becomes more aware and involved with their aging parent’s needs, the whole system may change a lot from what we know now
i really think the boomers and early xers are gonna be the last generation that cares even as much as we do. Millennials are super angry at us as it is, and I expect this to impact Medicare and Medicaid. Having witnessed two ppl go thru at least 2m in services in two years, it’s obvious the government will not be able to sustain that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The system is broken in many ways, lack of personal responsibility, a desire to keep loved ones alive with extensive medical intervention, and the cost of elderly care. I don't think this situation will change and I never want my kids to have the pain, exhaustion, frustration, and destruction of their lives that caring for someone can cause.
Until there are no offers, at which point they are stuck with the cost of paying 200000 a year in 247 aides, or 150k in nursing care, up until you can somewhat convince the government to pay for it while keeping the house with heirs in it?
Im technically a boomer, but even I can understand why the millennials are infuriated.
"What if I get old?"
🧐 you WILL get old (or die young & not have to worry).
"What if I can't look after myself, can't cook or clean?"
🧐 you'll get meals delivered & hire a cleaner.
"But that will cost Money!!"
🧐 Yes.
"What if I start to lose my marbles?"
🧐 Then you'll stay home as long as sensible, then move somewhere with more help.
😱😱😱
"No no no. I wouldn't want to move!! I like my home. What about my things? I have family! They will take care of me. They will have to move in & look after me".
🧐 So.. you expect family to quit their job, get no wage, leave their home, spouse, kids, pets, hobbies & move in to ensure YOUR life does not change in any way.
.... 🦗
In other cases, it's a case of the parents failing to adequately plan for retirement. (Hint: "Saving for retirement" doesn't just mean going on cruises. It means saving for the ugly stuff.) That, too, isn't going away.
In yet other cases, it's guilt, obligation, and weird dynamics that make children of parents who didn't parent take care of them anyway. That's not going away.
And in many cases, it's considered an honor to care for one's loved ones as their lives come to a close the way they cared for us as our lives began. That was my case, and I certainly hope that doesn't go away.
In short, I don't know that it's necessarily "expected" by that many people that their children will take care of them, except perhaps the cultural scenarios. Life and "stuff" happens, and I'd guess most of us really didn't see our caregiving roles coming. What we do have is an obligation to make a better effort to prepare than our parents did if indeed they didn't prepare adequately and to make the job less onerous on our children if at all possible.