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Stop hiring help and stop showing up for a couple of weeks.

Call the facility and tell them that you will answer THEIR calls in a true emergency but that you are going "no contact" with your mom so that she can adjust.

Do not tell mom; she'll just bully you more and wear you down.
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People with dementia often feel lonely because they forget a visit almost right after it happens. Get her a photograph book but also stop hiring people she abuses. What does she need from them? A clean room? If/when she is cognitively clear explain to her that NOBODY gets everything they want and as the song goes if she tries, she can get what she needs.
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You've already answered your own question in your last paragraph. Yes you should stop hiring caregivers for your mothers every whim. As long as continue to be her answer for everything(by providing the caregivers)she will NEVER take advantage of what her facility has to offer.
So in all reality you my dear are enabling this demanding and bad behavior from your mother, and if you want it to stop then you're going to have to stop enabling her.
She'll adjust don't worry, or she'll just have to go hungry and be lonely. And that will be on her not you.
So please get off this crazy hamster wheel you've been on for far too long and start taking your life back, and accept that more than likely your mother will never be happy and that again is on her not you. Some people just like being miserable, but that doesn't mean that you have you be miserable along with her.
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Is she in independent living or an Assisted living. They are different.

If Mom keeps going thru aides then stop hiring them. Tell her she will need to depend on the aides she is paying for thru the money she is paying for care.

Your Mom is just a miserable person. If she does not want to be involved with activities or make friends, thats on her. Not ur responsibility. Its up to us to be happy in our lives. Not to depend on others to make us happy. Life does not work that way. Mom has to except her circumstances and work from there. She may never be happy and thats on her not u.

I would sit her down and sit in front of her and tell her, she is a miserable person. Its up to her to make the best of the rest of her life. She needs to be nicer to those around her. But at this point, she is going to die a very lonely person.

2 or 3x a week is enough for visiting. She needs to get involved in what is available. Its all up to her.
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