We have a camera on them and they disconnected it so that my brother cannot see them during the night. He lives near by and can be there within 5 minutes. They refuse to answer the phone. They have physical therapists come to the house without telling us. Which will not help either of them. He gets out of bed and showers at 4:30 in the morning. My brother is at a loss and I live out of town and with Covid afraid to visit and cannot help.
If I am right, and there isn't a dementia diagnosis, you are going to have to understand that they are alone, vulnerable to fall because of their age, and that this eventually WILL happen. There is at least two of them, and with 911 easy to remember, able to be posted, I think you may be down to that for now.
You understand this is a disaster waiting to happen. You can sit them down and gently explain that these devices are for their safety and their good, and that realistically people of this age DO fall and WILL fall. But I am not certain what else you are able to do but make house as cleaned out, trip proof stair free as you are able, with all needed things easily reached.
I am 78. I recognize that falls now mean that something is more like to break than not. With that recognition the way I move in the world is different, always using bannisters, not carrying things down stairs, no more ladders, and etc. BUT....things do eventually come to this place.
I hope others have better ideas for you to try.
Regarding physical therapy coming to the house, that is almost always a good idea. They are experts and can do so many things to try to help prevent falls. Falls usually happen at some point anyway, but physical therapy can help delay it as long as possible. It was very smart of your parents to have therapy come out and they fortunate. Also, if the therapists do not feel that your parents are benefiting from the therapy, the therapy will be stopped. Medical insurance will not pay for therapy once improvement from that therapy stops / no gains are seen by the therapists. Especially with this pandemic when agencies are running very short staffed and they have people waiting to be seen that could benefit from the therapy.
Regarding the phone not being answered: is it possible that you and your brother are just driving your parents nuts with continued questions and suggestions about their health and safety when you call them? Is this why they are no longer answering the phone? You love them and are concerned and don’t want anything bad to happen. Believe me, I get it. But if all the concerned comments, questions and suggestions are now causing them to not answer the phone, maybe it is better to ease up a bit so maybe they will start answering the phone again.
Best of luck to you; I know it’s not easy.
If their doctors haven't certified them as incompetent, then you and your brother need to step back. Sure, try to got them to wear Life Alert pendants, but otherwise respect their rights to live their lives.
Yes, the "crisis" day will come, but no amount of what you're doing will prevent it from happening. Just back off, have some contingency plans with your brother, and let them have their independence as long as they can enjoy it.
If so, get the kind worn on the wrist. More often than not, a person will remove the type worn as a necklace when they shower and go to bed.
Many times it is easier to hear from a pro, our family dynamics/issues can be a factor in listening to common sense aging issues. If people are stubborn they may have to live with their decisions. We all fall... eventually. I like the wrist fall/emergency device as well, peace of mind for loved ones and the service will contact a family member if needed.Not driving, that is a big one too!
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