Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
1 2 3
My Mom is in a local nursing facility. She has been there for almost 4 years. Her disease has increased as the years have gone by. She was quite healthy with the exception of leaving her home late at night and not knowing how to get back home. Luckily she had good neighbors who let us know. She now is in a "Gerri Chair" because she can no long walk nor help herself. I have gone by to see her almost everyday since she was admitted there. It was more of a safety issue than anything else for her since myself and my siblings all work and she couldn't be left alone. This disease has taken her every dignity and life. She doesn't speak much anymore but has this horrible growling sound with a scoured facial look. She isn't on much medication at all because we don't want that and my brothers and I keep a close check on all that goes on with her. Every phase that she has gone through has truly been a challenge that we look at with love and compassion for her. We are her voice and everything now. Wish we knew what made her growl so. It sometimes causes a hesitation to feed her or give her drink for fear of choking. We, along with her Doctor have tried to figure out if it's pain, frustration or just part of the disease that she doesn't realize she is doing. Alzheimer's is the worst disease that I know of.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I didn't like the earplugs. They were uncomfortable, and I thought they would probably push wax, little by little, into my ears. My solution is to turn on the stereo, LOUD! It not only drowns out the annoying sound effects, but music will just make you feel better. So crank it up! Crank it up, sing and dance!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Dear Dee, I don't think anyone here assumes that you would ever hurt your mom...I have first hand experience with the constant noise a person with Alz. can make! My mom would grind her teeth so loudly that you could hear her from 2 rooms away! She was in the end stage of Alz. when she did this and my Dad and I would give her gum to chew to keep her mouth occupied and this would help sometimes (sometimes not) and it jjust about drove me crazy. We asked for help from hospice, her aides and even from her doctor but she just kept doing it! She died in early January of this year, but as long as she could move her mouth she ground her teeth. I do so sympathize with you! Tell your siblings that you are going away for a weekend and that they must care for her or make arrangements and then just leave!! You really need a break!. Just to be safe please tell Hospice that you are going and then give them your siblings telephone numbers and addresses so that they can make arrangements with them BEFORE you go...but make it clear to all that YOU MUST GO! That it is non-negotiable. Then just leave....even if you just go next door, but give yourself a much needed break. Blessings to you, LindaZ.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sparkgirl - YES these are signs of dementia, but could be something else. Get your MIL to a neurologist ASAP to find out what exactly is going on.

You will want to rule out a urinary tract infection, medication conflict, or some other brain-related problem that might not be dementia. Only a doctor can help you at this point.

Do whatever it is that must be done to get this lady seen!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I need help! My mother in law (69) is staying with us at the moment but she's driving me crazy. She makes noises constantly. If she's reading a book, she shuffles her feet, tapping the floor all the time and makes um um hmmmm noises. If she walks or moves the noises increase... Panting, oohing and ahhing with every step. When she goes into the shower the volume increases so much you can hear her all over the house. She has started eating with her mouth open, filling her mouth so full, food spills out and speaking with her mouth full. Are these signs of dementia, or something else?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My father lives with us. He only likes my husband. I do most of the caregiving and he just cuts me off,etc. It's to the point of not talking to him unless he talks to me. He's 95 and very controlling and has taken over our home, tv, and controls our lives.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

He seems to be pouting. Could that be possible? He's 95.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My father makes moaning noises while he watches tv during the day.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

sandwich42plus .. NO NO NO we are not abusive at all. For goodness sakes, I do not reprimand or punish her, and she gets plenty of care and understanding. I don't know where that idea came from, but I am really offended by your reply. Just simply asked for advice on the constant noises as many others have done under this topic.. She doesn't make those noises near as loud when her hearing aides are on, so its just a thing when they are off or turned way down..(thus controllable) but she is always taking them off LOL.. She is in mid stages of Alzheimers and still does most everything she has always done except drive and go places by herself. I thought this forum was for help and support not to beat someone up for asking a question. ss
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

dee10tx- you do not break dementia patients of anything. This is not willfull behavior to annoy you. It is the physical signs that brain degeneration is happening inside their skull. You must have your loved one looked at by a neurologist & geriatrician ASAP. There may be some meds that can make this behavior better.

Don't reprimand, punish, or give any consequences to mom for this behavior or it is considered elder abuse. The dementia brain can no longer learn, so there is no way to train, reward, or punish this out of her. Your poor mother needs care and understanding. You probably need a respite break.

Call your local area agency on aging (in the US) and ask for help finding a respite care facility. You can get some down time and recuperate. I'm sure your nerves are shot from the stress of the situation.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

MY mom also, every waking moment NONSTOP even while eating is making who who who who who noises and its so loud. It is driving me and hubby crazy. There has to be a way to break her of that. And when she doesn't have her hearing aids on, oh my, she can bring the roof down. Any suggestions on how to break her of that?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My mother has just started with saying ba-ba-ba-ba-...I occasionally can't sleep (which hasn't been a problem) when I hear her do this.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Honestly, all of the above comments are fabulous. I would say, really find a way to possibly redirect her? Puzzles, or does she do it regardless? Then I would get ear plus, or the IPOD SUGGESTION was great.

I REALLY LIKE THE SUGGESTIONS OF:
Taking some time off for you. A day or 2 1/2 day's will make you feel like you have a new life. Possibly just try 5 hours twice a day. If you cannot fit that into your budget, I know that many Senior Centers have an Adult Day care, and the cost is (at least in my area) $50.00 for twice a week, Tuesday and Friday, 10:00am -- 4:00pm (includes lunch, and depending on your situation, most all in our area take the bus. It is fantastic, and I do know that our communities in WA state are really taking a focus on making sure that our elderly loved one's as well as child care and meals for the grade school children, are being funded.

I was also going to suggest, if you have nothing financially to spare to go to your local Senior Center or look on the internet, as either Hospitals or Senior Centers do have Volunteers to come in, but I don't know how long, I would assume 2 times a week for 4 hours a day.

Good Luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Ohhh boy, do I ever know how you feel. I've been dealing with the same kind of issue for about a year now. My mom (79 with dementia) also makes noises. The sounds begin the moment she gets up, and consist of cries, whimpers, high-pitched tones that grow in volume, words that are spoken with great effort and sound distorted....and when she's in a room by herself, she screams and begs for God to help her. I cannot tell you how distressing this is for me, and how it has made me question my own sanity. When I've reached the brink of what I can endure, I tell her the noises she's making are driving me crazy. She acts as though she isn't aware that she does it at all. And the screaming that she does in the morning and at night before bed? She tells me she isn't doing this.

The only way to stop the noises is to completely distract her. If my mom is engrossed in a movie she likes? Not a peep out of her. Helpful, yes, but also a burden to feel as though you have to be responsible for keeping her entertained on top of everything else. *sigh*.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I've seen others on this site say that having their elder who makes noises suck on hard candy helps decrease the mouth-noises.

My son who has Aspergers used to make non-stop mouth noises when he was in elementary & middle school. It almost drove me insane, but it was a calming fidget behavior for him. Gum and just telling him "you're doing it again" eventually got us through it.

I remember my grandmother making "mmm-mmm-mmm" hum type sounds all the time and it nearly drove my aunt (who was the caregiver) to the insane asylum.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

My mom has just started humming. She has been talking to people on the "air phone" (an imaginary phone on which she can contact anyone and conversate) for quite a while now. A few years ago my sister was found dead in bed at the age of 46. My father died of pancreatic cancer a couple years later. My 4-year-old nephew was hit by a truck and killed in front of his mother and then my brother committed suicide (he was also 46 when he died). I am one of two siblings left. Even though my brother lives just a few miles away and works even closer, he will not participate in her care, talk to her on the phone or visit her at all.

My mom lays on her bed while I work in the room next to her and chats it up with my living brother on the "air phone" all day long. I moved her in with me when my younger brother passed because the stress of everything was just too much for her to handle.

I went through a divorce after 22 years during all of this. I don't have a spouse to help me and my children don't come around at all because they resent the time and attention I have to give to her. They also resent the fact that I am not 100% (far from it) -- constantly emotionally wrought with the current or pending crisis.

Lately I find myself feeling so angry and resentful. I have asked her siblings for help -- they don't have time. The grandchildren won't help. I am so tearful and just cannot concentrate. I am really worried about myself and don't know how I will ever have a life again. I should be enjoying my time with her, but instead I am devastated every single day by a new development in her dementia.

I just needed to complain :) Thanks.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Oh My, I just looked back at my previous post and it was almost 2 yrs ago. I am still going through the same thing, but worse. It is so bad now, that my husband is finally noticing it. Before, he just ignored it. Sometimes I can't get the TV loud enough. My nerves are just about ready to "POP". Her dementia gets worse every day and the full moon makes her crazy!! and since my last post, my husband is now working away from home during the week, so I have it all to myself! I believe that is why he is noticing it more, since he is not at home all the time. I pray for all the caregivers. It is NOT an easy job. Probably the hardest job you will ever do. I am thankful my Mom is still with us at 95, but she seems so miserable. It is Mom's body, but she is NOT in there. It' so sad! Prayers to all!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Our Mother would repeat letters all day in a high pitched voice. Sometimes we would just have to leave the room. One day I told her "Mom you learned how to talk in code but you forgot to teach us (me & sister) the code" We all laughed. So sometimes we would just make fun of it to lighten up the mood like the day she was stuck on T & A and I was like "Really Mom? Are you seriously talking about tits and ass. She finally got beyond that point and now sticks on a "word for the day" as we call it which is usually no. Roll with it. Try to make it funny. I know that my Mother is dying and it is very painful but we have chosen to make the best of it, not just for her but for us also!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hi ahumbleRN,
It certainly sounds as if dementia is part of the issue. From my non-medical view, it seems likely that it's a form other than the most common Alzheimer's - either that or your mom is presenting issues differently, which is possible.

I'm so glad that you are taking her to a neurologist. If this doctor has no suggestions for ways to help your mom (and you), you may want to seek a second opinion. Personality changes are more common with some types of dementia than others. Medications can't bring your mom back like she was but we can hope that something will help control the symptoms.

Please keep coming back to read comments from others who've been in your shoes, as well as to tell us how you are doing.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mother moans all night. When I check on her she says she doesn't know she is doing it. I have asked the doctor for advise and her thoughts on this , she has no answer , but to drug her. I don't want to do that because the next day is not a good day for my mom after the meds. My husband and I need a full night sleep.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

My mother makes bird like sounds and screeches when she gets excited. She runs through the grocery store and chases children if I turn my back. Her behavior is always worse around me than anyone else and she appears to be trying to get attention. Her short and long term memory are distorted and she has fabricated memories (she keeps telling everyone we knew Elvis). Neurologist said it was dementia/alzheimers with behavioral issues. She is constantly trying to get attention (like telling the church members she wants whiskey) When I catch her doing something like hiding the mail she makes up lies to cover herself. I am just beside myself with this situation . My mother was a very serious retired school teacher /sunday school teacher.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Thank God she's still here to make any sounds
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I googled this today because I just don't know what to do. I DO get annoyed and at the same time, I am working on my own growth of transcending the annoyance. I have tried to not engage her or respond...it starts FIRST thing in the morning when I walk into her room. It's a constant sigh. I no longer ask her how she is doing. I bring her meds and walk out of the room. When she talks, it's in a growling type of sound. It is CONSTANT!!!!! non stop. I have heard these sighs most of my life so it's not because of age of illness. She also many many times a day will say, "i'm so tired"....what else is new????? all day..." oh...my knee!"
it's almost funny and like groundhog day because it is the same thing every day....she will say " i dont know what's wrong today"
I was beginning to challenge her by asking what is different today being that she says it all the time. She gets angry when I question her....about ANYTHING!!!!!!
then she let's out these loud sounds of pain when she does something. It's scarey! Startling.....I really dont know what to pay attention to anymore.
seriously...it is constant. There is never a time that there is silence and it is very disturbing...and depressing.
I think about mentioning it but refrain in fear of her exploding at me saying that all I do is criticize her bt I think I would want my daughter to make me aware of this if she isn't already because it is very very hard to be around.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

My mom just makes little pssst sounds. At first I thought she was whispering to herself but there aren't any words, just this little hissing sound. I don't think she even notices she is doing it. I have learned to just ignore it, but then it isn't very loud.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

There are some good suggestions above. I agree you need your time away. It helps tremendously. It sounds like she is not demanding your attention with her sounds like the lady I care for so it could be worse! Try to enjoy your life and ignore hers a bit more and you will do ok. Christian music and tv is also a life savor.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

It's time to get yourselves an IPOD and download some of your favorite music. Time to 'tune in & tune out' at least that's what I would do.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

After thinking more about this, it is kind of like a "mantra" for her. Maybe it is just a natural way for her being in her "zone" !!! Maybe you could use her "oh-ho-ho's as your own "mantra" to deal with it! Since she is not going to change, maybe you can delve into her world with it! Could it hurt to try? I'm only suggesting!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Isn't it odd that we were never really taught about all the problems associated with the elderly and parents especially! Somehow without knowing...we are just in the middle of this new phase of life with no directions . Thank God for this site and everyone who contributes to it! Mom (96) makes a continual "uh-uh-uh" sound when she is stressed when in the house. When we go out or are around other people she stops!!! Sometimes I think it is a reflex of having to do something she has difficulty with or maybe attention getting so someone else will come to help her. It is definitely annoying. I've made her aware of it, but she continues to do it. She doesn't have dementia and has all her faculties. I tell her to "breathe" because it is interrupting her breathing...like delayed breathing. It seems to work when she is told about it. I really can't be too harsh about it, after all she is 96 and has it difficult living with my dad who has dementia. When she starts in with the "uh-uhs" I go find something else to do away from her...that is when I know she is ok and not seriously in pain or trouble. I also just try to busy myself with something else to take my mind off of it. Stay on this site because I'm sure someone will come up with a great solution for you! Peace be with you!
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Oh my, I feel for you because I know exactly what you are going through. Mom is constantly going "uh huh" and chewing her teeth. I have the TV on most of the time to "try" and drown out the sound. Then she turns the TV off! So I go to another room for a little quiet, and she comes looking for me. I try to make her swallow her food whenever she eats, but it is like "pulling hen's teeth" because she stores it away somewhere in there. Most of the time she has nothing in her mouth, just chewing and grinding her teeth! I have no relief either, only my husband, and it doesn't annoy him because after a day of running heavy equipment, he hears nothing anyway! Or, he falls asleep in his recliner and doesn't hear anything. If it's any comfort, I feel your pain, but do not know what to do about it. Here's hoping someone has a miracle cure! Hang in there, I'm also trying to!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I am overly sensitive to certain sounds, some are actually an irritating frequency and some, I confess, are more irritating because the person causing them irritates me anyway.
My thoughts are
#1- you really need to find a way to have time off every week.
#2- squishy earplugs. they don't have to totally block sound, but they take the edge off while allowing you to communicate with your mom.
#3- push back. i find when a sound really aggravates me, if I "reply" by humming, singing or verbally countering in some way, it is as if I am equalizing the pressure :-) With your mom, just think of it as part of a conversation. Her: "Oh ho ho", you "yes sirree!" I'm not being facetious, it really helps.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter