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Imho, you should relocate yourself and it is IMPERATIVE that you do so for your own safety.
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I don't get it.

If I love my home and have spent a lot of money on it, how am I going to let someone else run me away?

It's not happening.

She is the problem. Not me.

She's got to go. Not me.

litterally
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Isthisrealyreal Nov 2020
I think that you can only take that kind of stand when you own and they are renters.

Both being renters changes the dynamics of a dispute like this.
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I posted earlier but want to add a few additional thoughts. I think if I were in your shoes I would look ahead and no longer dwell on how rotten your present situation is.

I seriously doubt that you would miss anything about your current living arrangement.

In fact, you will most likely feel relieved that you left and wonder what took you so long to leave.

Start packing! Enjoy your new place! Look at this as moving towards a better life instead of leaving your home behind.
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Rose21 Dec 2020
I would miss my other neighbours here, who have been really lovely.  And you are right, maybe I should start packing for the inevitable, maybe that would make me feel better, I can't move just yet due to the covid restrictions in my area, so I'm stuck for the time being.
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So what happens if your neighbor sets fire to the house? There are lots of homes out there. What is more important your your health or a building?
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2020
Not to mention peace of mind! Health and peace of mind is a win/win in my book.
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Personally if no one is doing anything (and maybe they can't because nothing really has been done to "harm" someone)......I would MOVE...........its not worth the stress of worrying whether someone is going to hurt you and/or do something to your vehicle.  I know it shouldn't be that way, but who wants to stay awake worrying whether they are going to do something............MOVE when they are sleeping.  good luck in your situation.
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Rose21 Dec 2020
Yes, this is what normally happens, nothing is done until someone is harmed, and then it's to late.
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Years ago, a local hoarder house finally burnt down.

Local newspaper reported that neighbours had advised this house to Police & Council many many times & they were very angry not enough was done.

The neighbours had iinstalled their own fire alarms & kept the vegetation on their fence lines trimmed. Paid for regular pest extermination too. All they could do.

The house burned down completely but luckily the fire fighters saved the neighbouring houses.

When interviewed about what he would do, where he would go, Mr Hoarder said he had been offered public housing or a nursing home room (can't remember now) & was happy about that. When asked if he was sad about losing all his stuff - no! He was happy it was gone! Didn't know how to get rid of it... the fire was a blessing.

I heard that one neighbour said he should have lit the match himself years ago to save the whole street years of anguish...

I wouldn't advice arson! I'd move if I could afford to.
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Rose21 Dec 2020
Yes, I've said to the Landlord and social services, I hope this isn't one of those news stories you read about in the paper, where people end up getting hurt, or some incident occurs which could of been prevented and all they say is "Moving forward we will learn form this."
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I could not stand to live like that. Threatened to kill you and the police did nothing about the neighbor? I would advice moving the heck out of that neighborhood and run don't walk!! The woman should be committed .
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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2020
Exactly! What more needs to be said? You covered it all, EB.
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If you own your home you should be at the police department, city hall and the county health department daily. The squekky wheel gets the grease with these departments.

Go to city council meetings

You should be working with your other neighbors in unison with these city agencies.

Keep good records of your activities with the city people IE date time, who you met with, who came to the house. track their comitments make sure they are kept.

Use email to keep a clear papertrail of communication

Contact the media find the local TV consumer helper.

You will not be able to easily sell your home with this right next door and or you wont get a reasonable value.

If your a renter.. after 2 years Yes it is time to move out
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Rose21 Dec 2020
Thanks lacyisland, I have a long paper trail, I've been keeping diaries since June 2019, I've kept text messages between myself and the family, recorded conversations and phone calls, I have untold emails between myself and may of the services.  I don't own the property, I think it's much harder for home owners with this type of thing, as you said bad neighbours go on the register and make it harder to sell your property.
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Mjustice98

I understand your viewpoint.

However, I believe a lot of times in our life, "we have to stand still." Most of what we face, is really just a battle of the enemy of our soul.

We will face many situations that are not pleasing but we can't run from it.

I could give you a long list of things that go on with our neighbors.
Damaging our home, vehicles and garage. The list goes on and on.

Do we pack up and move? Nope.

We stand still.
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Mjustice98 Nov 2020
You know best about your situation, you’ll make the right decision for you :)
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Landlord says this is a rental. As beautiful and wonderful as it might be, the blight next door (attached even!) would make it ugly for me. The people who built across from my previous house were a pain, sticking their nose into my business, but I was able to ignore them and laugh at some of their stupidity. There was no vandalism, no threats, etc. Just very stupid people. I did later end up selling (bought another place first), but it wasn't them that drove me out.

IF I were in your situation, I would NOT stay as long as you have. A book can have a lovely cover, but if it is full of blank pages, or worse, pornography, would you keep it? Your situation is even worse than that. Noise, threats, vermin with no recourse!

You've tried most avenues to try to put a stop to this, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Clearly the family isn't concerned, so they are not going to do anything. The landlord could try more, but even without virus and moratoriums on evictions, the eviction process alone is expensive and very time consuming. Even worse is how the "system" deals with people who have cognitive declines or other issues - they tend to try to keep people as "independent" as possible, so even if social services determines she's at risk, so long as "family" is living with her, they will likely not intervene much.

I would find another place. There are other lovely places that you can call home! Hard as it may be to give up what you like, giving up what you don't like will be so much better! Having your BR in the LR, you can't even entertain (not that we should be right now.) You've stuck it out for a long time now, and no one else seems concerned (family, police, social services.) If this person has dementia, it could be years before it reaches a point that she would be taken to a facility. If you're willing to put up with all that for many years, stay. If not, you should be looking (probably should have been when you found these "responsible parties" wouldn't or couldn't do anything.)

NOTE: Maybe when you do get to the moving stage, you can make sure it's as noisy as possible during the day! Play the loudest most obnoxious music you can! Then again, who knows what they might resort to... At the very least, I wouldn't make any effort to be quiet for them while they sleep during the day.
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Rose21 Dec 2020
What you have said is absolutely spot on, you're right the family don't want the responsibility, that is clear, and there argument is that they want her to keep her independence, even if that means keeping me awake at night, and being a danger to herself and others, they also don't want her in their home keeping them awake at night.  

And again, people with mental health issues do have rights, as a hoarder there will be certain leniency, which is why she needs proper assessment for her dementia as this is the only thing that will override her rights.  I believe she is way past being classed as having a capacity, since she is delusional, and aggressive, but unless social services goes in, then this could go on and on, that's my fear, because I've had enough already. 

Disgustedtoo, no noise wakes her up in the day, and that is because the drugs she should be taking at night to sleep, she is taking in the morning when she goes to bed.

Thank you ever so much for your response.
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Mjustice


:)
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i once had an annoying neighbor who moved in above me. She was not as crazy as your neighbor but did appear to have a drinking problem. cleaning the rugs at 3 am, moving stuff around, banging things, walking back and forth, etc. most of the night. There wasn't anything I could really do at the time unless I took her to court and I didn't want to do that. One morning I was going to work later that day so I was home at 10 am when a fire broke out in her apartment. Very lucky that I was home and I called the fire department although I didn't smell any smoke because the smoke was going up above her apartment and I was below. the fire department arrived quickly as I as hanging up the phone. I left the building and by that time the fire was raging and I could see it as it burned through 4 apartments. I only got water damage from the water pumped on to the fire but I was lucky. Some people lost everything and has no place to live.
Get out of there while you can and before you have a fire that burns everything you own. It is not worth the aggravation and the loss of sleep. The stress is bad for you. You can make a new home elsewhere.
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Rose21 Dec 2020
There has already been a fire here before I moved in, she'd set light to a load of stuff in the back garden and had forgotten about it, when the fire brigade turned up they couldn't get in due to the hoarding, they had to climb over a neighbours fence, it had got out of control and caught fire to a nearby tree, it took a while to put out.  This is a big fear of mine, as she is often up cooking at night, and I've had to telephone the family before now due to black smoke coming out of the window, and no fire alarm sounding it is a disaster waiting to happen.
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This is too dangerous. Get out ASAP. On the way out call Adult Protective Services because the family is endangering the neighbor who is legitimately ill. The reason I say to call on the way out, is that I do not want the family to harm you by reporting it right now. They sound that crazy.
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Rose21 Dec 2020
Adult protective services know, it is a safeguarding issue, but the son often refuses access to them, or lies and tells them she is out.  As of yet, the authorities have not tackled this together.
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This is an old post; I wasn't able to find any new posts, so I'm not sure why it's been brought forward.

ETA:  I've just discovered that Rose is updating the thread, but it doesn't seem as though there's been any positive change.

Rose, I've had another thought.  Is the landlord the actual property owner of record?    If not, you could contact the property owner directly, by using the local county recorder's office, or Treasurer's Office, to identify him or her.    Be careful of Treasurer's Office records though, as someone other than the title holder might be paying the taxes, if management has been contracted to a company (of which the landlord is a member, owner, shareholder, etc.).

I ran into this when a house abandoned was left unattended, grass overgrown, snow not cleared, etc.    Treas. Office records showed a particular company was responsible for the taxes, so I traced it down, found it was just a company providing limited services for another company.  Traced that down but no one would return my call.   (The property was left abandoned for 6 years after the owner died.)
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Rose21 Dec 2020
Yes, the Landlord owns the property.  But it was a way of thinking outside the box, thank you
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Rose, the only other thing I can think of is public embarrassment, by anonymously sending photos, recordings, and/or calling local newscasters.   But this could start an avalanche of dangerous attacks and hostility toward you.

If you do move, I would seriously consider reparations against the landlord, such as demanding that he pay for the move (someone may have mentioned this earlier), agreement to cancel the lease, and refund of any deposit as well as monthly balance  of rent.

And if you do move, discuss with the new landlord high levels of privacy, no recording of a new lease, etc. to ensure that the problem people don't come after you.

BTW, does your unit have any security monitoring?   Video cameras of people approaching the unit, something like that?
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Rose, I’ve probably said this before, but it’s worth repeating. Try getting some good quality, memory foam, industrial earplugs, and wear them at night – at least put them in if noise starts.

I had some really nice neighbors upstairs from my family flat in town, who unfortunately got up at 4am for shift work a couple of days a week. Hard concrete floors, my plasterboard ceilings straight under the uncarpeted concrete floor above- I heard every step, every thing they dropped, even toilet use. I solved it with earplugs, so they might help you too. Decent sleep helps a lot.
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