Mom has landed herself back in the hospital again with a UTI and likely sepsis. I am predicting a three day stay, which will lead to a 30 day stay in a rehab facility. They will most likely ask me where I would like Mom to go.
My choices are:
1) A facility about 5-10 minutes from my house. The care is adequate, but not spectacular. The décor is dreary, but the place is clean, food is horrible, really horrible, but mom doesn't eat anyway. Mom won't participate in any activities anyway, but the offerings are lame.
2) A facility 30-35 minutes away. I have not seen it, but I have heard good things.
On a website that rates rehab facilities and nursing homes, #1 has a 78% rating and #2 has a 90% rating.
If Mom goes to facility #1 I will visit her 5-6 days a week, usually short visits, but I have been known to stay longer or visit more than once a day. My kids will visit some.
If Mom goes to Facility #2, I will only visit her once, maybe twice a week because I have a 12 and 14 year old, work full-time and part-time as a Disney Travel Agent, hold a position on the HOA board and have a husband who travels a lot.
Either way, I will keep Carol, one of her caregivers, on the schedule for a few hours a day. Carol lives minutes from falicity #2.
So, would you put your mother in a lesser place but with more company or a better place with little company? As of right now, it would be for 30-40 days but I won't rule out that it could become permanent.
I'd get 24 hour care. You need a corner of your life back. Take all the help from hospice that is offered. And at work - it's a lot easier to deal with "mom's on hospice" than a person who has an aging parent for whom there could be 10 more years!
You will get through this well.
HOW OLD ARE YOU? - I don't ask this out of hand rather I know as someone about to be 68 & taking care of both mom & dad in separate facilities [they have the same name & chance of med files mix up is nil when they are apart] - if you are 35/45/55/65/ those answers are different as this makes a whale of a difference
I can't wait to have them closer - dad now 16 minutes not 3 1/2 hours has helped me so much however I am now doing more for him as he needs this but the percentage of time in travel has gone down so much - now I see him twice a week instead of once a month but actual time is slightly less - you have to weigh the pros & cons on YOUR OWN CIRCUMSTANCE - no other person wears your shoes - hope this helps - hugs to you from me
Sorry for the loss of your Mom.
Feeling sad.
At the same time, you got your life returned to you.
You are a gracious person, deserving of all that is good.
Good for you for the escort of your Mom to the end.
Many threads like this go on here on AC for years after the OP posted the question. I'm not trying to police the thread as much as I'm feeling sympathy for a member who lost their mother yesterday. ♡