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She's not "legally incompetent." I did not want to put Mom through that trauma. We can prove it if we have to, but I honestly care about my mom and don't want to upset her. I'd rather rely on the testimony of doctors, relatives, neighbors, etc., if needed. Fortunately, my brother is in this with me--I'm not doing this alone. Admittedly, my sister has been doing the greater share of the work in taking care of our mom. She has no other immediate family, while my brother and I do have family, along with health concerns for our other family members. However, my sister will get angry at my mother and yell at her. My sister has some real issues. Believe me, I don't hate my sister--I feel sorry for her. Nevertheless, it's quite clear that she wants to me in control of everything. She'll complain about having to do too much, but she doesn't like the way anyone else does anything. She is discouraging other family members from visiting my mom, even my mom's sister who wants to go visit my mom for her birthday.
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We all live in different states, which makes things a little tricky when it comes to real communication.
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My out of state brother also just had my 92 year old dad sign a third DIY will from the internet....told our dad he (dad) didn't have "enough $$" to require an estate lawyer to draw up a legal will....so he comes to town once a yr.,prints off a "revised" will,takes dad to bank for witness,and never sends me a copy,just tells me it is in a "locked box" at dad's bank...
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Oh yes, it could end up being around $300,000 after sale of the condo he currently lives in...depending on whether he ends up needing to be in next door assisted living facility,which brother has fought against tooth and nail in order to protect the assets from being used up by nursing care costs...it was definitely worth having an elder law attorney,but was told by controlling brother that a lawyer was not necessary,he could make a DIY will for him from internet....very frustrating,I know better....
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