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It would be a big mistake to think your Dad can go back to the house. I know he may talk about it, but dementia and memory loss make it hard for one to return home, or even think they could. I wouldn't mention it. The person could just get more confused, as s/he may not even remember once going back took place. Sets one up for leaving the home when no one else is around, getting lost or more confused. Change is difficult for people with dementia, and not taken well at all. It may just be a big mistake, and then you may have to place him in a home again. A year is a long time to be empty. Start as others have mentioned, one room at a time. Get help. Donate, pass on "stuff" to other family members if they want anything, It actually can be done. I'm not a big person at 4'10", and was 79 at the time, taking care of my 250 lb 6' husband. When I found a place for him, an apartment for me, arranged for movers to pack, donate, put in storage, and clear out the house, I did all that within 1 month, myself, no help. There are movers who will do all I mentioned,
A Place for Mom provided me NO CHARGE, name of 3 movers who do all the above mentioned donate, pack, store, move hubby's stuff into his room at assisted living. It wasn't any more expensive than if I had other movers just "move " to just one location. It was a big help to me. They took a few of my items to estate sale, as well. My husband was not in memory care at the time, still home, but they would have gone to facility if I needed them to. The company name was Smooth Transitions, "your single solution for senior moves".
Good luck. Make up your mind, get it done, then be free of worries of how you will do it. Let other's help.
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I would get permission from the court and sell the house using your Conservatorship. Maybe you can fib a little about the papers he sees if he has a fit, but one way or the other seems to me to be the best move.

After years of elder care adventures, Both my folks FINALLY went into assisted living in 2017 leaving me with 5 acres and a nasty rundown house full of stuff. I also had Conservatorship. No way was I going to mess around fixing the place up. It would have taken thousands of dollars and not really increased the value very much.

I was only surviving kid, 60 plus years old and 3 states away.

I cleaned out the personal belongings, paperwork, nasty stuff from the fridge, 40 trash bags from the house and garage to the dump, left the old ratty furniture and sold it as is. The land was valuable so it sold for a good price right away.

The money allowed me to keep them in a very nice place and later memory care for dad after mom died. Dad died just last month. Using the house funds I spent over $200K since 2017 for their care.

We get to a point where we can’t let the dementia over rule common sense decisions. I think you’re there.
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PrivateCitizen Oct 2020
You are wise! I am looking at selling my own property as I age (71 with medical issues and limits) no family, no kids, and can't maintain a thing myself. An older house in the country always needs upgrades, fixes, new roof, etc... endless yardcare. I seriously am at the point I will just stay... just croak from here, and let my fiduciary take over the sale and dispersal of all items. (Plan ahead and give away special items while I am still cognizant) If we had no 'coronavirus mania' going on deciding to sell and move away would have been a lot easier!! Now it is an enormous hurdle to even 'shop' for a small condo, apt, or plan for assisted living any distance from where I live.. There are millions of boomers like me, aging with few family, or none, to help... I can SEE why elderly just want to stay put and not bother to move or change, less motivation the mor sluggish we get.
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An unoccupied house is an "attractive nuisance". Too many worries, high insurance and possibility of attracting squatters, homeless or teenage parties etc. Best to sell ASAP. Don't worry about a demented person wanting to "go home". Home is their comfort mantra. It is not necessarily the home where they last lived. Also as it is not possible for your dad to ever return you are holding onto to an illusion. Best that profit from house be spent on his care. At his age there is no capital gains tax and as he is living, no inheritance tax. There will be property tax settlement, broker's fee, and some other expenses when sold. All that paid from sale price.
I dealt with sale of deceased , unmarried aunt's house. Much worry and tension until house sold. Up to that point my cousins and I responsible for any problems concerning house! Sad to see it go(family gathering place), but glad to be free of the worry!
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When we sold my mom's condo and later MIL's house it was a relief. However I was stunned both times when neighbors came on like vultures wanting the places for half price for themselves or relatives of theirs. One called me up after my mom died, and despite the fact they knew my mom and she was their next door neighbor for 2 decades, this boor could not even offer sympathy or condolence, just started right in how some in-laws of hers from out of town wanted it. Why didn't the in-laws call my realtor if they wanted it so bad? Someone my realtor found ended up buying it. Another neighbor tried to bully my realtor into "holding" the condo until they could sell theirs. My MIL's neighbor tried to tell my husband the house was worth half of what he ended up getting for it. Then when the home went up for sale someone used it to order cable equipment. All these boorish people and the maintenance of the homes was enough to want us to sell the homes. It was a relief when the properties sold.
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Sounds like it definitely time to sell the house but the biggest headache is going to be clearing it out particularly if he has lived there for years. Hope you remembered conversations where he mentioned where he like to hide things because there will be stashes of hidden items. My Mom (lived thru the depression) and didn't really trust banks. I had to go thru every single book she had - and she was an avid reader. Flip all the pages (that got me the singles, fives and tens) but cutting open the covers got the "big" stuff. About 7K actually. Had a friend and I helped her clean out her Mom's place. I never remember having any baked goods at that house but there was a lovely set of canisters on the counter. Couldn't believe the amount of money we found in the flour and sugar canisters. I say this to remind you that it may be more to cleaning out Dad's house than you thought. This is time consuming so start now and be thorough. My Dad was partial to storing his funds in old paint cans, lol. Gotta love this stuff because you can't make it up.
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VeronicaJo Nov 2020
You are so right. Hoarding can be a fact of life with dementia and my MIL was the family historian and keeper of old things as well. Although her condo appeared neat and tidy, it took us almost six weeks to clear out the two bedroom unit. She kept every piece of plastic, aluminum foil, and takeout container. She also saved every “free gift” she ever received form a charity soliciting a donation (and there were hundreds). Mixed in with all that were sentimental (and some valuable) pieces of jewelry and significant tax and insurance papers. We had to go through everything at least twice.
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You need to immediately make sure your insurance knows that the house is empty. Most policies do not cover unoccupied structures, we had to get another company to cover the house while it set empty awaiting selling. There are concerns about vandalizing an empty home.

Do you have to show him the papers if you have Guardianship?
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Babs75 Nov 2020
I called his insurance company and they said as long as all of his stuff is still there it is fine. They said that empty houses are what they are concerned about because they can invite trouble. I then called my own insurance agent from a different company and he said in our state that it is OK as long as someone checks on the house periodically, which I do.
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If your mom lived in that house, too, and has died, your dad's adjusted cost basis is the value of the house as of the date of her death. You should have had an appraisal done on the house after your mom's death to get that value, and you still can get one. Just be aware it won't be inexpensive. This is assuming your folks held the house as joint tenants with right of survivorship, or JTWROS.

If your dad was the only owner, then the cost basis will be the selling price minus the price he paid for it. Depending on how long that has been, it could be a substantial tax bill.

If you inherit the house instead, the cost basis for taxes will be the value of it as of your dad's date of death. In other words, if he dies, and you sell the house soon after, the taxes will be only on the difference between the value on his date of death and the selling price -- very little tax.

Example: My folks bought their house for $45,500 in 1968 as JTWROS. My dad died in 2018, and the house was appraised at $1.7 million (I know -- crazy California real estate). If I sell the house now because my mother has been out of it for over a year, she'd pay taxes on the difference between the $1.7 million and the sales price -- likely now around $2 million. (See: crazy California real estate)

If my brother and I instead inherit that house tomorrow (for example), it'll appraise for $2 million and we'd pay taxes on the difference between that and what it sells for.

Hope that makes sense. Bottom line, you need an appraisal of the house as of your mom's date of death if she lived there, too, and your dad inherited her half as survivor. You might as well get that done if you haven't.
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Babs75 Nov 2020
I did find the deed information at his house last week. The CPA wants to know the value of the house as of 1992 when dad was added to the deed (it belonged to his second wife before they were married). I have the deed but no value as I can't even find a property tax statement back that far. I have reached out to the county but they have not answered me. Then I found the deed that was issued after she died. It came with a real market value statement so at least that's a start. That's where we stand. We emptied one of the bathrooms and I have begun boxing up financial files and figuring out what I can shred. Gonna be a slow process.
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Ask the attorney if he has to see the papers, you may not have to show them to him. It really sounds like it's time to sell. Another possibility is to rent it out, but that brings a whole new set of problems. Try to get help from friends and family to deal with the contents of the house. I have helped several people with their downsizing.
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Babs75 Nov 2020
The attorney is all behind us selling the house but the capital gains thing is what I really need to pin down. Dad has an attorney who had agreed to stay on with him until after the house situation was settled but I found out yesterday that he has sent a resignation to my attorney. He wants her to handle the whole thing. She found that a bit odd since, if dad gets a copy of the legal papers saying I want to sell the house, he will need some legal representation as he will no doubt contest.
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