Son needs advice on how to toilet, shower and change clothing for bedridden Mom. Any suggestions?

First of all - you truly inspiring me to keep going. You reminded me why I do this and that I’m not crazy.
I needed that today - thank you.
it’s a busy day here so I will add more later. My best purchase has been the liberator medical Purewick - please google this. It has saved moms skin from and collect 95% of the urine. Surrounding you in support and blessings

If she is bedridden you will need a bedpan so she can urinate and poo in it while lying on her bed. You will need to have underpads which goes on the bed underneath your mom so the sheets do not get dirty. You'll need padded undewear - pullups. I like the overnight underwear because they have more padding. You will need 4 ounce trash bags to collect the soiled underwear to throw out. You will also need wipes - baby wipes are safest. You need the wipes to clean her hind end, her female parts and between her legs the top of legs - front, sides and back.

I see a lot of people saying they don't understand why you would want to bring your mom home. But I understand. People do much better at home. Plus, who can afford to pay for a family member to live in a nursing home. Most of them are $2000 to $5000 a month. I certainly don't have money like that.

As for showering, if she is bedridden, you will probably need hospice to come to your home once a week to help you with that. They will know what to do.

As for seeing your mom's private parts, that is something you are going to have to get used to. She's your mom and you are doing this out of love. When it comes to caring someone you love you just do what you must do.

Some people say that you are not responsible for caring for her and you shouldn't have to give up your life. While legally you are not required to care for her - she is your mom and I personally feel we do have a responsibilty for doing what is right - which may mean you care for her. As far as giving up your life. I feel that caring for a loved one enhances your life and teaches you about patience and love like nothing else can. Plus, it is your decision to make. If you feel that caring for your mom is the right thing to do, than that is what you should do.

It will be tough, but I think you can do this.

Check this website out. It will be helpful.
https://training.mmlearn.org/blog/peri-care-what-every-caregiver-needs-to-know

My mom is a 92 year old bedridden 8 years diagnosed last stage Alzheimer’s victim. I am a male caregiver helping my sister for the past 3 years. I don’t mean just sitting. I do diaper changes, in bed bathing,( no easy way to do this, put on the gloves and get it done), transfers from bed to wheelchair and chair to bed. Feedings of 1 to 2 cups of food that take up to 2 hours. The constipation and diarrhea. The long days and nights. The pain I see my mom enduring every day is very difficult to experience . Now the hard part : family will quit on you , some will forsake you and your mom. Many will start but few will finish. This is not impossible but very,very,very difficult. You better be mentally and physically healthy. A few of the things we needed : hospital bed with alternating air mattress to prevent bedsores, hydraulic lift , wheelchair or jerry chair, washable and disposable bed pads, lots of bed sheet sets, lots and lots of diapers,pads, bathing supplies, lots of washing detergent, supplies,supplies,supplies. Hospice provides a portion of this. Don’t count on hospice for all supplies. Don’t count on hospice aides for help, ( there schedule will clash with yours). YOU will have to do 99% of this job. We have 40 hours of caregiver help per week at a cost of $440 .YOU have to do the 128 hours left in the week. Hundreds in supplies every month. Family will not help pay the high cost. You will feel all alone. Very few will understand nor care. Lots of energy,patience, and kindness,Loving kindness, Love. Without love you can’t do it.

Home health will come out and teach him if he is able...aid will determine.

You must get outside help. I was going crazy trying to help my wife with Alzsheimers. I was her sole caregiver.See if she qualifies for Medicare. Contact
an agency that will show how she can qualify. They found a way for my
wife to get benefits after I thought their was no way she could qualify because
of income limitations. They now give me support so That I can keep her living
with me. It is not easy but it can be done. You must be willing to spend the
time and effort.

Dear Clemente: This is for sure a challenging time for you. But to be honest, a lot of us have accomplished these skills because they are our loved ones. My mother was a very modest woman. Yet when she was in the Nursing Home, she opted for me to bathe her entire body instead of the staff member. I do understand that you are your mother's son, but after once or twice, you won't think anything of it. Prayers dear man.

Honestly, after u get past the first couple of times, u are more able to mentally detach and it simply becomes yet another TASK that must get done.

my father actually cleaned his MIL many times when she was in this situation. She was horrified but he assured her that he considered her his mother and it HAD to be done. also KNEW she would do the same for him were the situation reversed (she would have). I had to clean her a few times too.

vicks salve under your nose, a mask, plastic gloves (a must).

There are YouTube videos showing how to do a bed bath. Im sure cleaning the bottom is shown as well. Protecting her modesty of the rest of her body (w a towel, sheets) when doing this is helpful too.

I do this all for my 98 year old mom. She is not embarrassed by it and neither am I. I get her to stand at the bottom of the bed remove her napkin and bend over and then cIean her with baby wipes. I even did it for my sister when she was in hospital with cancer and the nursing care was woeful. I never ever thought I would be able to do this but once you start it gets easier. Today I even had to put a glycerine suppository up my mothers rectum. She also has a prolapsed rectum which I have to push back every so often. Give it a go and you'll be surprised what you can do. Good luck. I find this very rewarding to know I can be there for my mother when she needs me the most.

Check online. You would be surprised at what's available

Briefly, contact your Elder Care organization in your area, find out how you can have a home health aide come in during the mornings for 1 hour to help bathe your Mom and get dressed.

The Elder Care organization should be able to help set up the bed & bathroom appropriately, so both areas can be safe.

Such as a grab bar attached to the bed, (a board and grab bar, where the board is under the mattress;) a STRONG commode by the bed & perhaps a walker to help with the transition; also, grab bars in the bathroom with a seat in the shower & a regular commode over the toilet to make it higher and easier to get up.

I am sure it is awkward for a son to do this for a Mom. (I would be totally uncomfortable doing it for my Dad.) I took care of my Mom, so that part was easier but it was uncomfortable for my Mom to have me assist her in this fashion... we do what we need to do. I tried my best to make her last years easy & enjoyable as best as possible...I know Mom appreciated what I did and she would often let me know how relieved and happy she was to have me be there for her.

Please, don't get frustrated...if she becomes frustrated, remember, It is hard on her too.

I hope some of my suggestions were helpful!

If you want more suggestions, I would gladly add more. Or, feel free to send me a note.

One last thing we used https://www.hdis.com/
Adult diapers, (maybe with an additional pad in them) and put mattress pads on the bed with the sticky strips to prevent them from moving is important to have also. (We had two under the fitted sheet, just in case, and on top of the fitted sheet.)

Okay, good luck.

Forget about a bidet. If she is incontinent and already in diapers then forget about trying to get her to use a toilet or a commode because that's not going to happen.
There is no way a person can wipe an ass and change a diaper without seeing someone's private parts. I'm going to tell you straight having been an in-home caregiver to elderly and handicapped for almost 25 years.
You have to get over any embarrassment or shame quick when it comes to hygiene care. It's absolutely disgusting to change an elderly person's diaper and give them a shower or bath. I won't lie and tell you it's a rewarding experience or do anything. It likely will be the most disgusting thing you've ever had to do. It is not like doing for a baby either. Some people cannot do this type of work and that's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're not able then leave your mom in the nursing home.
As for changing a soiled diaper. Don't try to bring her into the bathroom and change it on the toilet. That will not go well for either one of you. The easiest way to change a diaper is to change the person laying flat on their bed (you will need a hospital bed for her to be living at home). Fill a basin with warm, soapy water and a couple wash cloths. Unfasten the diaper on both sides. Slide the tabs under her far as you can. Then turn her on her side and pull the diaper out. While she's on her side wash her up and dry her with a towel or paper towels. Don't go trying to use a hairdryer or do anything like that. If she only pees herself, she can be cleaned up with baby wipes. Good luck to you.

Clemente, first I would like to say this is a wonderful thing you are doing. Years ago I became a nurse's aide at a local nursing home. I didn't think I could do it, the job of personal care for the residents seemed embarrassing for me and the ones I cared for, as well as distasteful. I had an epiphany one day while taking care of a lady who had been incontinent. She was crying, she was embarrassed that I had to clean her up. I realized I had to look past the "job" and look at the person--she absolutely had no control, and she absolutely needed me to help her. When having to perform personal care for your mom, the best thing you can do is to be matter of fact ("hey, it's ok, we'll get this taken care of so you are more comfortable "), and compassionate, and check your own embarrassment and discomfort at the door. I think a bidet would be helpful, I also think if you are related to or know a caregiver or nurse then you can get some helpful information on the best ways to perform some of the things you will need to do for your mom. There are easier ways to clean someone, dress them, move them, that is less embarrassing for you both and helps preserve mom's dignity. Good luck and I will keep you both in my prayers!

I took care of my dad. What’s strange is that my parents divorced when I was very young and I wasn’t super close to my dad but he needed me and was terrified of a nursing home. He gradually declined mentally and physically until he was also bedridden. He and I quickly got over our shyness because it just had to be done. By the time he was completely bedridden we had help from hospice but they only came once a day. I had already learned how to do all this when I cared for my husband in the final stages of his brain cancer so that helped. The nurses showed me techniques for turning them over, changing sheets with them in the bed etc. I also researched and found some super absorbent adult diapers that last through the night. If you can afford it there are great caregivers that can come in and help with bathing and sheet changing etc. but you’ll still
need to do diapers most of the time. I also found a camera that I could watch over my dad mounted in his room was helpful in case he awoke and was in some kind of distress I would
know right away.

Why was she placed in NH in January? Has she improved at all since that decision was made a year ago? When you say 'our family' wants to bring her home, are you talking about you and your wife/children -or- do you mean you and your siblings discussing her returning to the home?

If it is you/wife/kids - are they all on board to assist w/round the clock care? If it is your siblings having this discussion, you all definitely need to figure out just how the round the clock care will work. Can you use funds currently paying for NH to hire some help? If the funds have run out, you can apply for Medicaid bed to keep her in the NH. If everyone wants her home and she's bedridden, I suggest you get everyone to commit what help they will provide and/or how care will be paid for.

It's not impossible for a man or anyone to help a woman with tasks you mentioned. The best source is where she is right now. Have the staff show you how to do it - they have pretty good ideas/methods to make the job easier because they do it every day. Start planning on your household set up to make it easy for caregivers: Porta pot by the bed, remodel shower to accommodate a wheelchair, shower chair, replace a regular bed with a hospital type bed, etc. Look at the bed she has at NH and measure the height from floor. You have to find something similar. If she moves at all, handrails. If it's possible, they have toilets that flush out the backside that can be hooked onto your sewer line - you don't have to drill holes in floor - just an exit hole in wall behind toilet. It can be right next to the bed so you can flush/use bidet instead and cleaning out a potty chair all day long.

If you end up doing this caretaking thing, I strongly suggest you pay for whatever help the family can afford. You're going to need it. If some family is trying to save mom's money for inheritance, just let them know that ship has sailed. Her money for her care.

i did patient care several years ago, and while I did not have to help my dad with personal care I was very concerned about him being embarrassed should the time have come. My suggestion is discussing the need she has for help . then every couple hours when you change her do it quickly, don’t look too long, keep her covered as much as you can, and if you use some really good products with a lot of moisture it will help speed things up. I’m sorry you are in this situation. I’m sure she is so thankful for you. Oh, and always put a good barrier cream where she tends to get the wettest. The briefs “adult diapers” that connect like a real diaper makes things quicker too. The ones like underwear are extremely time consuming. Hope that helps.

I have known several men who have taken care of their mothers as well as women who have taken care of fathers. I have taken care of my father's needs as well as my mother's. It isn't easy with the elements of modesty and privacy with which we were raised but it has to be done and has to be seen in order to be done as it should be.
Here's the word "Compartmentalization". Yes she is your MOTHER!, she is your MOM!. Certain tasks may be easier if you forget that for the time to complete the task. These are body parts that brought you into the world (unless you are a C-section baby). Not many of us want to be that real as to "see" where we came from. Nudity is NOT the same as sexuality and you don't really have to experience her nudity. Bathing is done in stages with the body covered except the part you are cleaning. There was help with both Mom and Dad so I had a chance to learn from experienced caregivers.

Welcome to a new world. Did you know that there are youtubes for this? CNA certification has videos on youtube for how to do almost everything you will need to do, bed baths, feeding, transfer from bed to wheel chair,, on and on. In fact, I highly recommend that you look to see if there are any CNA courses offered in your area that you could take. There is really no sense in reinventing the wheel. From the videos and especially from a class you will learn precisely what you are getting into and how to avoid injury to yourself as well as to your mother AND if you decide to hire some help, you will be able to KNOW if they are doing the job correctly. Here is a starting point. You may need to copy/paste the links into your browser. Once in the correct part of youtube, look around at what is available. THIS IS AN ART FORM!! and yes I was shouting. Very few recognize that elder care is an art and a craft.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvQtjY3-bcE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRfFdgch968

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAk9ppD-KZk

I took care of my dad and I am female. Nurses would sponge bathe him. They put those pink or blue liner pads under him n all water is absorbed. If you have a hoist or another person to help lift to the commode or to wipe them, it’s very helpful. It’s disturbing seeing their body but who else is going to clean them. Son, caregiver, hire someone to bathe her maybe once a week as a break for you . I used the huggies and then resorted to adult disposable diapers and gloves and butt paste. It’s like taking care of a baby’s skin. Get help ask her doctor for a referral. Some help is better than none. They took care of us now it’s our turn to take care of them. 😉 Good luck in taking care of mom. You can do it.

Hello, Clemente ~ As my mothers only caregiver and son, I took care of all her personal needs. We did have aides come in at various times to bathe her, etc. when Mom was still in her apartment and needed help, Then there were times when she needed that help in the middle of the night, out on a shopping trip, or even in the middle of the day. I did all the things necessary to make sure she was clean and feeling good. I have seen my mother completely nude in the shower. I have applied healing creams to places I never thought I would ever ever see. I did it because she is my mother and I love her and wanted her to be as comfortable as can be. At first she would say she was embarrassed but I would reassure her that everything was fine and that her care was my utmost concern. She started developing dementia and had to finally go to a nursing home. At the nursing home, there were time when aides were too busy with other residents so I once again took charge of making sure she was okay. If you love your mom, taking care of the personal hygiene will become the best thing you can do for her at this stage. Do Not Worry About It. You will get over that initial uncomfortable feeling. Trust Me.

I have not gone through the other 20+ replies so forgive me if this is a duplicate of another.
1. I have to ask why do you want to bring mom home? This can be a daunting task for you particularly if you have no help. You will need help.

Is your mom eligible for Hospice? If so you would get the equipment that you need to care for her properly and safely. The staff would also educate you in how to use the equipment as well as how to care for her to minimize skin breakdown.

Clemente,
Caring for someone who is bedridden is very hard. The simple answer to your question about bathing and diaper changes and your "view" is there is no way to care for her and "not see". After MIL had a major stroke that left her paralyzed in her right side, unable to communicate except for yes or no, unable to chew food that wasn't pureed, but was thankfully able to swallow, it took my husband and I to change his mom so she wouldn't be harmed. Sponge bath every morning, new gown, new sheets, hair brushed, mouth cleaned with dental swabs, using baby aquaphor with diaper changes as a proactive measure to help avoid diaper rash, moving her arms and legs around to help her feel more comfortable and not stiff, shifting her position in bed to avoid bed sores, etc. She was in this situation for 2 weeks before having another massive stroke and passing. My heart broke for her because she knew what she wanted to say but was trapped in her head. She had been living with us for almost 2 years on hospice care when this happened and I thank God every day for her team. Instead of 2x a week cna, she came 3x a week, nurse visits became daily because of her condition, she was having TIAs throughout the 2 weeks, and they taught me many ways to help her. You said your mom is bedridden is she able to eat or does she need a feeding tube? If she has a tube that is something else you will need to take care of very carefully so it stays clean. Think about bringing her home very carefully because her care will be very time consuming and very physical. There is no way I could've done any of this for my MIL without my husband's physical help and her team giving me great advice. Water with a medicine syringe, how to use the draw sheet to make things easier on her. Talking to hospice now if you are going to be bringing her back home with you would be a good idea, they can do the intake from the nursing home your mom is in now and make sure that you are set up and ready at your home for mom, hospital bed, wheelchair if needed, initial supplies etc. I would also make sure to have multiple sets of twin sheets for her bed on hand, at least 3 or 4 sets for daily changes and accident coverage, also soft, cozy warm blankets for her. Your washer and dryer will be working overtime. Sheets, towels, wash rags, clothing. Is she ble to sit in an upright position? If so, button down the front pjs, shirts and sweaters would be your best option. Please don't walk into this blindly, do research on line, there are many good articles and videos out there to help you and your family understand the huge responsibility you are taking on.
One last thing for you to consider is this, you will be told other family members will be there to assist you and give you a break, don't count on it and don't depend on them following thru. We learned the hard way, excuses why it wasn't convenient for them. I wish you luck and hope any decisions made will be for mom's care and wellbeing, along with your own. Do NOT flush wipes even if the package says they're flushable, they can clog pipes and will mess up your septic system. Waste water treatment plants are also having issues with them clogging up their lines and pumps, they do not decompose like toilet paper.

Clemente,
I am a male and I have cared for my mother for almost 8 years now. My mother is incontinent and me, my wife, and a couple of paid helpers change her diapers throughout the day. My mother is not bed ridden but does have very limited mobility, and requires assistance to get into and out of bed, showering, spoon feeding, etc. My mother weighs 125 lbs. now but when I started to care for her she weighed 145 lbs. Before I can go into depths about how to care for your mother from my years of experience, I need to know how much your mother weighs, if you work or not outside the home, and who your mother will be staying with when you refer to "home".

Clemente, I care for my father at home. I have never had children and like you, it is the opposite sex. You need to research skin breakdown, bed sores, etc. If you fully understand the seriousness of skin breakdown, you WILL be motivated to keep her clean, even in areas to clean that are uncomfortable for you. Wear gloves. I use baby shampoo, instead of soap. It's easier on the skin. See my profile for some other suggestions. I recommend watching a professional caregiver bathe her first.

My father was bedridden the last 3 months of his life. As his daughter, I was sensitive to maintaining his privacy when bathing and toileting. I was even more concerned, however, that he remained clean and not develop bed sores. I knew I could not physically handle the challenge, as I have health-related limitations. Thankfully, my dad was already in hospice care with an agency that provided a daily, 7-days a week and holidays, visit. They worked with me and were able to commit to coming mid-day (noonish). I hired an aide for a four hour split shift (7-9 am and then 7-9 pm). So, all necessary cleaning, bathing, changing bed linens, turning or whatever was needed (I prepared foods and helped with feeding) was primarily done during those hours. My dad slept most of the day and night by that point. I was fortunate to be able to set up this arrangement, however. Doesn’t work for everyone. If your mom isn’t in hospice care (Medicare pays), she probably qualifies.Her nursing home physician can write the order. Meantime, interview hospice agencies that provide services in your area. Ask about frequency of home healthcare visits. I went with an agency that allocated most of its Medicare funding to providing daily visits according to patient need. Not all agencies will do that.
It was a real blessing to have that service.

BIG BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE taking her out of the nursing home if you are asking these questions. I would think twice before taking her out of the nursing home. And you will also need a LOT of support system, because you will be doing caregiving 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You will also need a LOT of money because you will not be able to work, and diapers cost about 75 cents to $1 a piece. The cost of gloves and wipes are astronomical. You will also need a ton of bed protectors because inducing bowel movements is very difficult and messy. Those are NOT cheap. Figure on changing your mom about 5-6 times a day for urine. You will need skin protection ointments as well. You MUST attend to her oral intake--fluids, nutrition, and oral care--you MUST clean her teeth afterward to prevent aspiration pneumonia. You have a LOT to learn. You will also need to learn how to use a Hoyer lift. You are supposed to have two people do it but I did it myself because there was nobody else around to help me.

You have to get used to it because your mom cannot do things we all take for granted, and the number one reason why people are institutionalized is due to inability to cope with cleaning bowel movements (BM)--much less induce them. If my mom did not have a BM in 4 days she would get impacted which means the stool would get very large and hard and cannot be passed. This would require an emergency room visit to get her bowels moving again, and it would be a terrible mess. So I had to put my mom on a bowel program which lactulose worked very well (she had kidney disease so I could not use milk of magnesia or any kind of phosphate type of laxative). Lactulose is very kidney friendly. Mom had a bowel movement every Tues, Thursdays and Sundays.

You should have been given some teaching on how to do hygienic care. If your mom is bed ridden you will have to do bed baths, and you will also have to prevent skin breakdown, which means specialty mattresses and turning her every two hours.

You cannot shower a bedridden person.

READ THIS AND READ IT WELL: You also CANNOT get sick because a bedridden person will 100% depend on you for your survival.

One thing that hasn't been asked or addressed, but is of relevance here: how heavy is your mother, and how big and strong are you? Of course this has little bearing on the modesty issue, but has considerable implications for the physical handling of your mother. This will enable others on this forum to tailor their assessment of the situation more precisely.

If she is bedridden and in a nursing home for a year I don’t know why you would be considering moving her to your home. She is best left where she is with people who can care for her appropriately. I don’t think you are going to be able to do this and will probably have a difficult time finding a new placement for her. I’d look at options of just keeping her there to be honest.

Hi, Hospice is a Free service provided to elderly people. My mother in law starting using hospice about a year before she passed (94). If your mom has any type of medical condition she would qualify. Ask your dr. for information on your local Hospice. Once she gets approved by Hospice, they come to your house 3 or 2 times a week to fully bathe your mother. They will also come in to check on vitals and give you advice. They have their own Drs and consult with your Mom's Dr. for any situation. They can also get some of her meds free for you. Please check into your local Hospice. I cannot say enough about them here in Florida. They are truly helpful and are not there just because she is dying. This is the concept some people have of Hospice. They are comfort care and 2 or 3 pair of eyes on her. If you/she get interviewed at the house, most likely they can approve you at the same time. That how is happened for us. I love Hospice.
PS Look at how the Hospice person bathes your mom and follow the same. Your mom will continue to refuse and you will continue to comfort her and tell her "Mom I have to and there is no one here to help us". She will not like you bathing her but once you do it by the second time, you will actually not mind doing it. It will come natural to you. Think of her as a baby that needs helps. Hope this helps.

Hello Clemente, I am a healthcare provider who works in a nursing home, so I hope my answer helps you understand the scope of what caregiving a bedbound person entails.

1. If you have no experience, you will need professional assistance to care for your mother, especially in caring for someone who is dependent and bed bound. You should call home care service agencies to find out what services they provide and what the cost is. Then you can see if you can afford it. If your mother is on Medicaid, you can see if she is eligible for home care and how much. If professional aides are contracted to help your mother, you can learn from them how to assist your mother. DO NOT do this unprepared as you will quickly be overwhelmed and it will likely be very unsafe for your mother (and possibly yourself), increasing her risk of bed sores, infection and possible injury. You may find that her staying in the nursing home is the most realistic avenue for her care. Make informed decisions and know what your options are.

2. Not all people are cut out to be the caregivers of their parents. Some sons are able to provide the kind of care she would need, and some, like yourself, are uncomfortable with it. If that's the case, you might want to look into alternatives. To truly provide the necessary care in toileting, bathing and cleaning, you will see everything. A bed bound person will most likely not be getting on a toilet unless they are high level and can stand and walk. But then they are not truly bed-bound. So forget the bidet.

Your question is understandable, but it also reveals that you are not knowledgeable in how to care for a dependent bed-bound person. This is not your fault. As with anything, one needs to be taught. Don't assume it's like caring for a relatively healthy mobile adult. There's a lot to know.

Good luck with this. We are all glad you reached out with your question. Take care.

This is really hard. I was faced with the same issue caring for my mom and, with my wife, my mother in law. Two responses. The first is practical. There is on the market a toilet seat that is inexpensive that is very easy to install that provides cleaning functions for both the back and front. The brand name is Toto Washlet. We got ours at Cosco. I wish we had had it for caring for our moms. In addition if you can get a walk in shower, one big enough for a wheelchair, this would be really worthwhile. More than once we had to take my mother-in-law in her wheelchair into the shower to change and clean her after a messy bowl movement.

Now to the spirit: what got me through dealing with caring for my mom in such an intimate way was realizing that now I was caring for her just as she had cared for me. As for private parts I always tried to be conscious of her modesty but on those times when that was unavoidable I remembered that not only had she and I been one body, this was my gateway to life itself. She was to be honored in any way I could help her and comfort her. I came to this acceptance—and this was really important—through prayer. At the start I felt as you (which is entirely natural) and prayed for the strength to do what was necessary. That strength came and with it a new and deep and living connection with my mother; one that put to rest years of strained relations and gave me a wonderful gift after her passing.

May God bless and protect you and give you strength in gifting back to your mom the care she gave to you.

It’s not easy at times , especially right in the beginning, but it gets easier once you figure things out .
i despise nursing homes !!
horrible hell my poor mom endured
have her home snd safe with mr
she has dementia, And is incontinent , but you can get aides To come in to help, I get 10 hours daily so I can work ,
and at night to help clean and get to toilet bed !
mom is SAFE
i had a lot of people say to us
don’t take her out of the home , your crazy ,
it’s too much work
blah blsh
its not their mom , suffering ,
lonely, depressed in a non caring hellhole !! Get her out !!
trust me,
those people do not test her good!!!
mY mom is happy laughing
sleeps well,
etc snd is safe !
yes it
Gets trying at times, but ever time I say , ugh...
i
stop pray and say my mom is safe
and in a loving home !!
get her home and you will figure it out
i just got mine out on Nov 2nd
so glad
Thxs
Melinda