She's 83 and knows her way around town very well. I've ridden with her and followed her in another car and she really is quite a good driver. Am I nuts or what. Her dementia is now in the aphasia stage that interferes with communication, and is beginning to show some impaired judgement. How do I tell her to stop driving when she gets around so well. Never lost, never careless.
Go on line and look up DMV in your state. Find the form for unsafe drivers and print it out. Confidentiality is guaranteed to a certain point (meaning that if you are reporting someone out of meanness they won't protect you). ]
I spend very little time with my mother now simply because I have other things to look forward to than dealing with her abuse and I refuse to accept that I am obligated to put up with it just because she is elderly and my mother. I put up with it the first 19 years of my life and I won't put up with it the last years of her life.
I'd remove the car from the premisis. The note I'd put on the whiteboard is "Car in shop. Waiting for part."
I'd stop spelling things out for her. She can't remember. What's the point? Please become familiar with the common behaviors of dementia. You will learn that reasoning with someone who has lost the ability to reason is futile. Save your energy for talking about pleasant things, not why she can't drive.
I would definitely not take 20 to 30 phone calls per day from her. If it isn't safe for her to be living where she is without you being at her beck and call, change where she lives so she will be safe. It sounds like she may no longer be OK for independent living.
I think you are going to need to detach a bit, to save your own sanity.
Will it get better? Well, the dementia will definitely get worse, but whether it will be easier or harder to deal with her remains to be seen.
Continue to love her, reassure her, keep her safe. Give up behaviors that take a lot of effort, are frustrating, and accomplish nothing. You won't be able to change her, but changing a few things in your own behavior can improve your experience.