The same questions asked over & over...how do you cope with it?

Question

The same questions asked over & over...how do you cope with it?

Follow

Share

33 Answers

Um, my mother has dementia & constantly repeats the same stories over & over & over again. I will say with 100% certainty that I will NEVER miss this, no matter what. People here can lay on the guilt card talking about Oh You Will Miss Your Mother When She's Gone but guess what? That has ZERO to do with the irritating truth of the repetitious behavior which is beyond annoying.

I can also say with 100% certainty that I will miss my mother when she dies. But I will NOT miss her dementia in any way, shape or form. Period.

Let's get real here folks. There is nothing good about this disease or the behaviors it brings with it.

I wish I had a magic answer for you to help you cope with this situation. I don't. If I had that answer, I'd use it myself. My mother told me the exact same story 5x in a row last night when I spoke to her on the phone. I deal with this all the time at my job in a Memory Care community as a receptionist; one of the residents is allowed out to chew my ear off daily, saying the exact same things over and over again. Nope. Not ONE good thing about it.

Good luck, my friend. I feel your pain.

Helpful Answer (8)

Report

Yes you are right, I will miss my mother when she goes. In my mind she has already gone. This woman I care for is not my mother. She doesn’t know who I am, or anything about my life. She calls me a friend. This person has overtaken my life, I have become her prisoner. She cannot do anything for herself. She can only feed herself, everything else I have to do for her. If she had her mind or memory it probably wouldn’t be as hard. I really don’t have sympathy for her, she has no life to speak of, she sits in a chair, watching tv most of the day unless she is asleep. Has no memory of the previous day. If I bring her out, she denies that I was the one, it is some imaginary character who took her out. And yells at me saying I’m lying. And says i hate it here, I want to go home to my Mother.
So no I will not miss this Invasion Of The Body Snatchers!

(7)

Report

its extremely hard. I wasn’t as good as I could have been. But. I’m not up for being Canonized. . In my experience, this was one of the signs that things we’re getting worse. When her safety was jeopardized, If I wasn’t right next to her , all the time, I knew I couldn’t do it solo anymore. About 5 years ago, she was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive impairment, about 3 years ago , the state revoked her license. . She also started to fall a lot, She stopped sleeping in her room. Her disease progressed. She started to record where I was and when I returned. So much more insanity than I can write. However , the event that led me placing her was very significant. I told her that I was taking the dog for a ride. My daughter was with her. My daughter said grandma, mom is taking the dog for a ride ( at this point , my mother couldn’t be left alone at all). My husband is pulling out of the garage , my mother is right behind the car, screaming where is Ellie? ( the dog). My husband was driving. Had his car not had the warning beeps,, he would have backed over her. Another incident occurred, about the same time, we were having the deck repaired. There was no railing while the steps were being replaced. The workers had to put up a wooden barrier from the kitchen deck door so my mother wouldn’t attempt to walk down. She had fallen down those steps a few months earlier. For me, it was the reality, that she couldn’t be alone for even an hour. she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in June 2019. She’s been in memory care since July, 2019

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

I put Dr appts for both on calender so my mom could go see when she had appts. It helped her to not ask my dad whose 86 as well and myself about their appts. She can also use it to see what day it is as well. I write her meds whrn we took them so she can go look. When she asked I would say let's go look. Then after a few walking her through it. I would tell her momma remember the calender and she go see . it helped us but I know it won't always . did I mention her CT showed nothing abnormal but something isn't right. I'm at the puffing all time like can't breathe . the repetive compuldion to change thermo every few min from hot to cold. Coffee to hot to cold. Coming in to say she's tired going bed then up and starts over. Plus I'm taking care ofb86 year old dad whose a double amputee and giving up cause he can't watch what she is going through. If that's not enough. In college to become a nurse. I'm praying they see me grad in Dec and she remembers it if just briefly .

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

1 2

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

The same questions asked over & over...how do you cope with it?

33 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions