I had posted about our brother taking our mothers money. Well, my sister and I visited her last week and here is what we found out. We went to the bank where they have a joint checking account. She had only $32.00 in the bank. We asked to see all of the statements and every single month, he had been writing himself a check from $600-$1000 monthly. Mom was floored. We left with all of the statements and studied them in the hotel room that night. He also had a safe deposit account set up for her in another city. We stopped by there, and guess what? The money was gone. We figured at this point he had stolen over $50,000 from her in less than two years. We went back to her bank and had a draft amount of $400.00 sent to my account every month so he couldn't touch it. When we got back to Mom's, she called him and asked where the money went. I took the phone from there and asked him. He started stuttering and said $150 for groceries, $150 for meds and then said it was none of my business. He then hung up on me. Well, we went to the drug store to get a listing of her meds every month. Her bill is only $13.07 MONTHLY. Then, I started thinking that he would probably put a stop payment on the draft. So I called my Mom yesterday and told her that I was going to put all of her SS money in my personal account. We called SS on a three way call and as of Aug. 3rd, all money will be in my account. He has the POA and if he wants the money to pay her bills, he has to provide a list and produce receipts of everything he needs ONLY for Mom. Then, I will reimburse him, maybe. Because he has POA, he still has to take care of her. I would love to be a fly on the wall when his checks start bouncing and he has to use his own money to cover them. Mom doesn't have any checks and all of the signatures are his. Hope he is enjoying his new Mercedes SUV. By the way, ADT is coming to my house to install outside cameras tomorrow as a precaution because when I was talking to him on the phone, he sounded like a rabid dog who could have come through the phone and bitten my head off. Sometimes, you just have to think out of the box and fight fire with fire. And just so you know, I will pay all of her bills if he doesn't. She can have steak and lobster every night if she wants it! Thanks again everyone for your words of wisdom in this matter. Bye bye Mercedes!
Yes!!! Why does he still have POA????? i would also consider criminal prosecution (on the advice of an attorney).
Yes!!! Why does he still have POA????? i would also consider criminal prosecution (on the advice of an attorney).
You described him as a “rabid dog” over the phone. Sounds like he’s on the edge and now that he’s been found out, I’d be afraid for Mom’s personal safety. You must be also if you had a sophisticated security system installed. It may be “convenient” for you to have Brother around for Mom, but I wouldn’t trust him. As POA, he MUST produce receipts of what he’s spent on Mom. I was on a joint account with my mom and also her POA and I had to produce receipts since she was the primary on the account.
Were it me, I would forgo convenience and hire a caregiver for Mom. Relying on the occasional kindness of friends or Uber is fine, but I think she needs someone with her for more than transportation. The caregiver can shop for Mom, take her to doctor’s appointments, do personal care, etc. I’d get shady Brother out of the picture completely and dismissed as POA.
The pond scum, the pond scum feeds off that the bottom feeders eat is what elder abusers are. I'm sorry that your mom has had to go through this with her son, it must be heartbreaking to discover your own offspring is so low down.
Hugs to you, your sister and mom.
I am my dads POA, handled all of his money and bills and no one has asked or told me I need to provide that accounting. I would be happy to if required but quite frankly its no ones business but my dads and he has been very happy, more available money now than for years.
I suppose prosecuting him wouldn’t prove anything if her money is gone. It would just be a moral victory. Is he executor of her will as well?
It does sound like you have a good handle on this situation now. What Brother has done is surely morally reprehensible and I’m sure Karma will pay him a visit sooner or later.
You could contact your local agency for aging and APS regarding the best protection for your mother. As well as revoking the POA, your mother should take him off the joint account immediately so he has no right to her money.
Many here have found that when money is involved people change, or show their true colors and families are fractured. I am so sorry about this happening in your family, Your bro obviously does not have your mum's interests in mind.
Co-mingling money can become sticky later on if there is a chance that your Mom may need to apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Medicaid does a 5 year look back on financials, and if the money is co-mingled, then Medicaid will ask for proof as to which entries belong to Mom and which entries belong to you.
My Dad had a checking account set up that way where his income came into that joint account, and I was able to write checks for any of his bills. I also kept copies of the bills/checks in a 3-ring binder so an auditor could follow the paper trail.
PLEASE come back often, if only to let us know you’re ok.