I have to make the arrangements for my father. My dad left a handwritten note saying he wanted to be cremated and maybe have a simple memorial service. I’m not sure if he wrote that during Covid, or not.
Other than myself, my husband & daughter, my mother (ex wife) and a couple of dad’s cousins (maybe), I don’t know who would come to a memorial service. Especially with Covid. You can’t hug, or shake hands, etc.
I haven’t lived in my dad’s town for decades and don’t know who his friends or acquaintances are. His 2 closest friends died before him. I’d be relying on the obituary bringing in some friends or acquaintances.
His ashes are to be buried in another town with the family plot at a later date. Is it lame to skip the local memorial and maybe have a smaller family service when his ashes are buried? I’m so tired from family drama plus his hospitalization I just can’t think straight any more.
Memorial ceremonies are for those left behind. They provide an opportunity to share memories, share love, and find closure. If you and your family feels the need to be more inclusive of dad's community, there are ways to provide simpler memorials. If dad lived in a residential facility, you could easily arrange for simple snacks in one of their meeting rooms so residents could have a "picture wake" (his pictures in the room with no service and maybe a guest book that residents could write remembrances or just sign in). You could also arrange for a virtual memorial where friends and neighbors could be directed to a ZOOM online site to view a memorial at a date and place of your choosing. Of course, a "graveside" ceremony with just family is always appropriate.
Whatever you do, ask close your close friends and family to help you. You need to be able to find peace in loving memories when the memorial is concluded.
He was cremated and his ashes buried in the family plot near the town where he grew up - which he had left decades earlier.
I placed obits in his birth town paper as well as the larger newspaper where he had spent his adult years - so that those who knew him from both places would see the death notice.
You are not required to bend over backwards for his memorial service. Do what is most convenient for you that will still honor his memory.
I was feeling like maybe I should have done more; like schedule a dinner gathering after but I’m so burned out. Been dealing with my dad’s hospitalization and bill paying since January, he passed in April. He had no spouse and I’m an only child so alone I had to get an attorney, probate his will, am dealing with clearing out his house and selling it and his truck to pay off his estate bills. I arranged for the memorial service myself and need to write his eulogy that I’m giving at it. I’m tired and hope everything turns out okay.