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My precious mama 86 years old with vascular dementia refuses to drink (water, juice,…)
we tried straw, infant squeezable bottles but she spits it out
sometimes the straw works, sometimes spoon drinking works while in the flow of eating. Like one spoon food and the other a thick liquid, soup or even milk. But that can’t make up for the amount of fluids she needs daily (at least 1.5 lt)
somtimes we had to our IV drip to compensate but that can’t be a lifestyle.
any ideas

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FYI - I just wanted to mention the bubbles below your question are actually links to info on this site, the "swallowing" bubble will take you to a page with lots of info on this topic.
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My mom lost the ability to deal with liquids. A swallow study, medically called a video fluoroscopy, showed it was not safe for her to have any liquids by mouth at all as she would aspirate them into her lungs. Please have this test done, it will guide you on how to proceed
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Has your mom had a swallow study?
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Yes, thickened fluids are still fluids.
Water was the first thing my mom began to have difficulty with, years before she needed her diet modified and years before end of life. Your mama may be able to manage a few sips during meals because it's not sustained swallowing like a glass of something would be. Even if you don't want to do a swallow study I encourage you to at least try the thickeners, you've got nothing to lose.
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So many elderly people are dehydrated. My mom wouldn’t want to drink a lot because she was so sick of going to the bathroom so often.

It sounds like you are doing the best you can for your mom. If she is near the end of her life, she may not be hungry or thirsty and this is a normal occurrence.

Best wishes to you and your mother.
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You've got good answers here, so I'm going to be blunt. She is at end of life, maybe not this week, but soon enough and not drinking is often a sign of it.
Forcing, cajoling and all the other things we try, have no real purpose. Let her be.
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MarianSobhy May 2023
Really? No real purpose?
you would still do it, right? Force, or come up with ideas that can help,…
my struggle isn’t with the ideas but more with the pressure I am under and put her under - to drink,
sometimes I think wouldn’t it be better if I enjoy these moments peacefully with her rather than all this pressure!
but then I say why “either or”, why not “both and”,…. It is a real struggle and tension
not sure if I can graduate from it.
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Since you aren't getting a lot of answers I'm back to tell you that 1.5 L of fluids doesn't necessarily mean she needs to drink that much. Lots of fruits and vegetables have a high percentage of water content, and things like smoothies and milkshakes, puddings, jello, applesauce and thickened soups and stews all count.
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Fawnby May 2023
So does rice because it’s high water content. I was advised of this by a doctor who was treating a friend that I helped when she had kidney disease and I had to monitor fluids in, fluids out.
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My late husband had vascular dementia, and after almost dying of aspiration pneumonia, I had to thicken his drinks with the product Thick It, and puree all of his foods for quite a while, until he eventually graduated to soft foods only.
I would ask her doctor to order a swallowing test, and take things from there.
Best wishes.
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MarianSobhy May 2023
Thickening fluid or softening food are considered as fluid ?
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I'm thinking that she may be having difficulty with thin liquids and might need her fluids thickened (dysphagia), has anyone suggested a swallow study?
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MarianSobhy May 2023
Well - she does drink thin fluid. (In a flow of eating)
when I give rice pudding - I do - 2 spoons puding and 2 spoons milk and she takes it.
but if I try to give her milk by itself in a bottle, cup or even a spoon, she doesn’t take it
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