After 40 yrs of marriage and someone who can still communicate with me even after a frontal left brian stroke, I really want to bring my husband home where he and I wish for him to die (he's in hospice now). My family insists that I need to look out for myself. It's been difficult to locate caregivers (I estimate I need at least 3 to cover a full 7 days of support plus the hospice support). I now have at least one of three identified and do not wish to lose her. Should I continue to search for the other 2 or chance it again as I did for 7 months following the stroke?
I had my bedridden husband at home under hospice care for the last 22 months of his life. While it was very hard, I was glad that my husband got his wish to die at home. I wish you peace in whichever decision you make.
We saw this with hospice. When mom found great caregivers that loved her and she loved them and they left to switch to another hospice organization, we then switched organizations too.
It’s worth the additional work to keep a good caregiver!
My mom was recently in a hospice house. She died with dignity. The caregivers were excellent!
I don’t mean to sound rude but it’s extremely difficult to care for someone at home. Please let him stay with a professional staff. Not just for your sake but his too.
It's not wrong to bring DH home and it's not wrong to keep him in Memory Care. What's not a good idea is to second guess your decisions or feel that you have to take on his end of life care by yourself (possibly) at home. You can easily spend every day with DH at the Memory Care and then go back home in the evening to a peaceful and restful nights sleep.
Try to remember that there are TWO people who need care here, not just one. There are TWO lives equally important at stake. If you break down by trying to be Superwoman, then who takes care of YOU?
You DO need to look out for yourself, and with a good TEAM of caregivers, I think you can do that.
You're not thinking you are going to nurse him back to total health, you are realistic about the outcome and about how much work this will be.
What do his drs say about EOL expectations? If he has a year or so..it will be harder on you than if he has maybe 6 months or less.
I feel your love for your DH in your post. Whichever way you choose to go, you are going to be there for/with him.
God bless you in this choice.