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Sometimes I do a casual Sunday after-church 'snacks and dessert' type gathering. VERY easy and casual. I hit Costco pretty hard for all the snacky type things and even the dessert, if I don't feel like cooking.

The thing is, my kids just want to hang out together, the grandkids are only happy if all the other grandkids are there. It's really beautiful and I am learning to let go of the 'guilt' that I am not as energetic as my grandma's who could cook up a storm well into their late 80's.

The kids try to coordinate their visits with their visits to the 'other side' of the family.
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Tell them just what you said here. Moms Dementia has progressed to the point it just too much for me to get her out. She can no longer enjoy the outing and she doesn't remember it when she gets home. Nor can I enjoy it worrying about her the whole time.

And, there is still COVID. I would have loved going to Grandson's 8th B/D party but a couple of people in my daughter's circle had had COVID not 2 weeks before. At 71 and 74 my DH and I chose not to go.

If the child lives close, maybe she can make up platters for you.
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Hello Ellswood, I agree with you. No need for guilt what so ever. Do what you want to do and never mind everyone else. Just make sure you do not end up cooking and cleaning for everyone if they visit. I would definitely tell your children it is too difficult to take your wife out, and it would be great if they could visit in your home. I stopped having holiday parties a few years ago and visiting friends and relatives. It was too much. What a wonderful husband for taking care of your dear wife. Take care and the best to you.
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Ellwood, wishing you a blessed Easter! Hope it is a good day for you.
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Good for you for already knowing your limitations. You are not obligated to attend any of these family gatherings, and only should go if you want to. And like you said, you can tell the rest of the family that you will be home if anyone wants to stop by and see you and your wife. That should be good enough, and with no guilt on your part. Surely your family understands what issues you have going on with your wife, and should be sympathetic to it. And if they're not, well that's on them and not you. Only you know what is best for you and your wife, so continue to do what is best. God bless you for taking such good care of your wife, and Happy Easter!
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