One of my children will have the gathering at their house, but I am at the point where my wife will not remember she was there, and won't even remember who most of the family members are and will not know or remember where she is she has no short term memory. We will get home and she will complain that she never gets to go anywhere, and we go many places. But it is difficult on me to get her up dressed and out and I am at the point I do not want to do it every holiday. Christmas was good, but Easter, I want to stay home. I want to tell the children that if they want to see us we are here to come visit. But part of me feels guilty. However, I really need to take care of myself I am still healthy and strong, we are both 74 years old, but I know my health will decline also, eventually. I guess the question is, how do i deal with this. Very broad question I know but I like to hear others experiences and take it from there. How do I avoid burnout and take care of my own mental health.
The thing is, my kids just want to hang out together, the grandkids are only happy if all the other grandkids are there. It's really beautiful and I am learning to let go of the 'guilt' that I am not as energetic as my grandma's who could cook up a storm well into their late 80's.
The kids try to coordinate their visits with their visits to the 'other side' of the family.
And, there is still COVID. I would have loved going to Grandson's 8th B/D party but a couple of people in my daughter's circle had had COVID not 2 weeks before. At 71 and 74 my DH and I chose not to go.
If the child lives close, maybe she can make up platters for you.