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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mother does not want me to clean her off, but I see where she does not do it herself because she smells. I do not think she can smell herself. Her home is a mess and she does not want me to touch anything. What are suggestions you can provide?
What is her reasoning? Some people have valid fears which you might be able to alleviate ( like if she said its too cold, or she cant stand up in the shower, she's embarrassed, her teeth hurt, ect...). other people have irrational reasons. Those people you will not likely change.....
If your mother is deemed competent, there is nothing you can do. My mother is 95 1/2 and lives in a hoarder medd and won’t shower or bathe. My therapist tells me to leave her be. I called APS and they can’t do anything either. You also can’t make someone go to a nursing home or assisted living if they are competent, I tried. I tried everything. My therapist told me to let it go and just have enjoyable times with her. She not going to be here forever. She told me to enjoy the moments I have with her and not worry about her bathing or that hoarded mess of hers. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can make her do anything.
Deb2020, there is not enough information to give a real helpful answer. What is your mothers diagnosis? Does she have dementia? Other medical issues? How old is she? Is she mobile? At some point you need to take "control" and help her out. I am sure you resisted help in the bathroom when you were young but she was there anyway. You can try attaching a Bidet unit to the toilet that she uses. But that is IF she is going to understand how to use it and will use it. If she would allow you to help her you could "control" the operation of the bidet. Also at some point if she has problems managing on her own you will have to take control of that. Either she moves to a facility where her needs will be met (Assisted Living or Memory Care) or she moved in with you or you move in with her. If she does have cognitive issues they will not improve and will worsen so this is a situation that will become more dire as time goes on. Unfortunately often things have to reach a point when some catastrophic event removes choices from you/her and forces you to make a choice and often at that time options are more limited.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
other people have irrational reasons. Those people you will not likely change.....
What is your mothers diagnosis?
Does she have dementia? Other medical issues? How old is she? Is she mobile?
At some point you need to take "control" and help her out. I am sure you resisted help in the bathroom when you were young but she was there anyway.
You can try attaching a Bidet unit to the toilet that she uses. But that is IF she is going to understand how to use it and will use it. If she would allow you to help her you could "control" the operation of the bidet.
Also at some point if she has problems managing on her own you will have to take control of that. Either she moves to a facility where her needs will be met (Assisted Living or Memory Care) or she moved in with you or you move in with her.
If she does have cognitive issues they will not improve and will worsen so this is a situation that will become more dire as time goes on. Unfortunately often things have to reach a point when some catastrophic event removes choices from you/her and forces you to make a choice and often at that time options are more limited.