Definitely not a cheerful subject, and one I avoid like the plague, but when the chips are down I can only see instability and misery in my future. I am now 71, have many serious physical and mental illnesses (bipolar disorder for instance), no family at all in this country and very few assets. Oh, dear! At present, I am a very active and gregarious person, take good care of my health, pay my bills, maintain my house, care for others and never depend on anybody. My life is stable and I am feeling fine, but I daren't think about the future.
With no family whatsoever there is definitely nobody to take care of me, or even care about me when the chips are down. People have their own families to care about. So I know I need a plan, but I am unable to write a will, for example, because I have no Power of Attorney to carry out any wishes that I might have. The bank does not do this, apparently, and friends come and go over the years. I have made a DNR and have left it with my doctor and the hospital, so that is a start, but I don't even know how anybody would cope with my beloved cats. There are so many obstacles because my cats hide when anybody comes, and one of my cats has kidney disease and needs a special diet. In fact I have nobody who would be willing to wrap up my affairs. I would want to be cremated but have no plan as to who could arrange this for me. In fact, I am at a total loss and when it comes to thinking about this I put it off every day because I can't think logically about this subject. Polyanna? Any ideas?
If you are having to maintain your house now, perhaps you could consider downsizing sooner than later, and getting the equity out of it to help pay for an independent or assisted living situation, depending on your needs. You’d have a lot less to worry about and many allow pets.
I also would investigate no-kill shelters in your area just in case anything were to happen to you in an emergency.
I also recommend seeing an elder care lawyer. They can write up your directives, even including the cats, and possibly act as your POA. I think once you get a few things in writing you may feel better about your planning.
As said, call Office of the aging to see what services they provide. Medicaid has services for low income people. Check out senior bussing. Here were I live there are services that come right to ur door, for a cost. There is stuff out there, just need to find out where. Ask Office of aging about the disabilities dept. They may have services you can use in the future.
I know a lawyer sounds cold but sometimes a friend or family member turns out not to be a good choice. If you ever need LTC, a lawyer will be able to handle Medicaid a lot quicker. Your funeral can be prepaid. The money is put in a trust until your passing. You can tell the director exactly what you want and don't want. No matter what you decide, a lawyer is a good start.
I "get" what you're saying. I will retire in Mexico (hubs is Mexican). We have friends in the city where we'll live but, if hubs dies before me, I might be hard pressed to get by.
I speak Spanish and would have enough money to live on, so if I became physically infirm, I could hire help. However, (God forbid) if I become demented, I would truly be concerned. I have asked my step-daughter to watch over me at that point and handle what would need to be done. She agreed but it would be a huge interruption in her life.
Would your doctor be willing to be POA for you? Maybe he could recommend a Social Worker who could give you some resources.
I would also contact an elder law attorney. Usually the Senior Center in your town would have referrals for low to no cost consultations. Maybe the attorney would have some suggestions also.
Are there services to "check in" with aging seniors in your area? You could check the Yellow Pages (how dated is that? Am I showing my age?) or Internet for Senior Services.
I completely understand friends "coming and going", as 2 very close friends decided to "cool it" then later wanted back in the relationship (forget that!). Sometimes "Friends" can't be counted on.
I'd suggest you write out how you want things along with pertinent personal information, put it in a plastic sleeve and hang it on your refrigerator. Many emergency responders will look there. Be sure to include a list of the medications you take and your cats' needs.
Would joining activities at the Senior Center or YMCA interest you? I understand it's hard to get out there but more socializing might open up some new possibilities or, at least, some fresh ideas of what others are doing.
Good luck to all of us as we age.
👴🏼👵🏼 The future is a scary thing.
Contact your local Area on Aging Agency. They can offer guidance as far as possible guardianship should you become incapacitated. A lot of cities have a “daily call” program for Seniors. Our’s here is called “R U OK?”
As for all the other, I would contact an Elder Law Attorney for advice. The cost would be worth your peace of mind. And that way, you’d know everything would be in order.