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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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My dad had a few strokes and cannot speak but fully cognizant. He has passed every test needed so I cannot get power of attorney over him. He keeps runaway saying he wants to live his own live. He doesn’t want to go to a home. Any suggestions?
If he is cognizant If he can function SAFELY on his own He should be able to live on his own. There are Senior apartments There are many devices that would allow him to contact emergency services if needed. The same systems could allow him to contact you if he needed to.
I think you should help him do this. Try for 6 months and see how he handles it. If he needs m ore help then there are ways to get more help. If he decides that he can't live on his own then he can return to living with you. But give him the ability to try.
Let him live his life. If he is fully cognizant he gets to choose for himself. But remember, you get to choose for yourself how much you will help him when/if the time comes and he wants or needs help.
He doesn't need a caregiver if his only problem is no speech, he can write what he needs to say.
Dad assigns you POA. It can be immediate meaning when Dad signs you can help him. No doctors needed to declare him incompetent. But its a tool not a power. Because he can't speak, you speak for him. If he can't write checks you write them for him. As long as he is competent, he can still make his own decisions.
Springing is a POA that is only in effect when a doctor or doctors declare Dad incompetent to make informed decisions. Talk to Dad about putting a Financial and Medical POA in place. It will insure that his wishes will be carried out. Otherwise, he has "tied your hands". He could have another stroke that could really debilitate him and if no one in the family has POAs, the State may step in and decide for him.
Is the problem that you are not able to care for Dad in the shape he is in? You say its your house in the Profile. Maybe have a sit down, tell him you get help in or he goes to an AL or LTC facility because you just can't do it.
Well, you don't 'get' power of attorney OVER someone--it's really FOR them. You sound like you want to run dad's life and he most assuredly doesn't want you to.
He's got to live somewhere. Offer to go look at a few places with him. Then HELP him move there and let him live his life.
Is he running away from you & your home? I'm assuming (perhaps incorrectly) that's what he's doing.
If he is fully cognizant then he'd able to make his own decisions. Your best bet would to support him. (Emotionally, not financially).
More than half the people on this site are trying to get their elders OUT of their homes--I don't fail to see the irony in this.
He is mentally capable of making his own decision, according to you. Therefore there is nothing TO be done. You can choose for yourself how much support you can give to your dad. My only caution is to be aware of the need not to enable him in dependency on him while you provide him with some support.
Do check with medical about supportive devices for your father's safety. I wish you both good luck but can offer little more on the basis of what information you gave us. A competent person is able to make his/her own decisions.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If he can function SAFELY on his own
He should be able to live on his own.
There are Senior apartments
There are many devices that would allow him to contact emergency services if needed. The same systems could allow him to contact you if he needed to.
I think you should help him do this.
Try for 6 months and see how he handles it.
If he needs m ore help then there are ways to get more help.
If he decides that he can't live on his own then he can return to living with you.
But give him the ability to try.
He doesn't need a caregiver if his only problem is no speech, he can write what he needs to say.
Springing is a POA that is only in effect when a doctor or doctors declare Dad incompetent to make informed decisions. Talk to Dad about putting a Financial and Medical POA in place. It will insure that his wishes will be carried out. Otherwise, he has "tied your hands". He could have another stroke that could really debilitate him and if no one in the family has POAs, the State may step in and decide for him.
Is the problem that you are not able to care for Dad in the shape he is in? You say its your house in the Profile. Maybe have a sit down, tell him you get help in or he goes to an AL or LTC facility because you just can't do it.
He's got to live somewhere. Offer to go look at a few places with him. Then HELP him move there and let him live his life.
Is he running away from you & your home? I'm assuming (perhaps incorrectly) that's what he's doing.
If he is fully cognizant then he'd able to make his own decisions. Your best bet would to support him. (Emotionally, not financially).
More than half the people on this site are trying to get their elders OUT of their homes--I don't fail to see the irony in this.
Therefore there is nothing TO be done.
You can choose for yourself how much support you can give to your dad. My only caution is to be aware of the need not to enable him in dependency on him while you provide him with some support.
Do check with medical about supportive devices for your father's safety.
I wish you both good luck but can offer little more on the basis of what information you gave us.
A competent person is able to make his/her own decisions.