Mom has run out of the funds used to supplement her Social Security income, which does not cover the expenses of living in the assisted living facility she has called home for 4+ years. I'm told by my sibling that she does not qualify for Medicaid. I am limited as to options and am considering moving her into my home, which will be VERY different for her. I work 8-5, but am 2 miles from home. I'm searching for adult day care resources and trying to understand what Medicare will cover in regard to home health aides. This will involve moving her to another state; however, in the last 2 years, I am the only one she has seen face-to-face for a majority of that time. She does not love her living situation and I'm hopeful that living with me will improve that outlook for her. Yet, I know I may feel a target on my back, as I have seen my sibling experience the same whenever things in Mom's world aren't understood by her and she simply feels restricted and forgotten. So, what am I going to experience that I may not have any clue is coming down the pike?
If she does not qualify for Medicaid, that means she has some remaining assets which need to be spent on her care before she qualifies for Medicaid.
Medicare will not help with living costs or adult day care
To answer your posted question, Medicare has a home bound program that will allow your mom a weekly nurse visit and a couple of visits per week from a CNA for baths. PT, OT and speech therapy can be provided as needed. Home based blood draws, urine tests etc can be done. But your mom may be beyond this stage of care and being home alone during the day after being in an ALF might be especially lonely for her. It might work for awhile but you would soon be needing to find alternate arrangements. I would drill down on exactly where mom is on her needs and her finances. Those are the two factors that she must meet to qualify for Medicaid. She must be medically in need and financially in need. If she has more income than the state limit, there are usually ways around that. Again, the rules and procedures are different depending on the state. The bigger problem will be is if her POA has used her funds in a way that delays her acceptance by Medicaid. You won’t know until you see the response from the Medicaid application as to what the problem is. Don’t assume anything, just deal with the facts. I would not delay meeting with the attorney if mom is low on finances. A good attorney well versed in Medicaid can be expensive but well worth the cost if they get mom placed where she can be cared for.
Make sure you get moms POA if she is cognitively able to assign. Don’t leave that with the sibling if you are in effect taking over the management of her care. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
BUT, go talk to a CELA first, naturally, and don't take our word for anything! This is just something I'm telling you from personal experience, after having used POA for my parents since 2014, cashed out their life savings (in stocks) and used that $$$ to finance their care in AL ever since. Mom was due to run out of $$$ in August and I was going to apply for Medicaid at that time, but she wound up passing away in February. All she would have had left was her SSI monthly and her VA Aid & Attendance widow's benefits which weren't enough to finance her $7K a month costs in Memory Care AL.
So, what are you going to experience having mom live with you that you haven't a clue about? Tons of things, TONS and TONS of things. Loss of privacy being the #1 thing, and being responsible for another human being 100% like it was when we were first mothers back in the day (if you were in that position, IDK). It's an overwhelming feeling, to say the least. PLEASE let mom spend all of her annuity funds to finance her care in AL and have her own place, her own autonomy, and you can continue living your own life, having your own ONE full time job instead of TWO, and that's that. Speak to the lawyer and get the scoop about what to do after she runs out of $$$$, and go from there. By then, she may need a lot of help with ADLs (activities of daily life) and she'll be more than ready for Skilled Nursing.
Wishing you the best of luck coming up with Plan B & C to keep mom living in AL for as long as possible.
Period.
Family "steps up" in an emergency to advocate, arrange and facilitate. Not to have their lives hijacked.
Sure family steps up and looking into help for her qualifies as stepping up. Sacrificing your life....and that is exactly what you are proposing...is not part of stepping up.
First of all: you think your sister may not have explained to your mother that your mother's (supplemental) money has run out. Your sister says that your mother does not qualify for Medicaid. Your sister has experienced the rough end of the stick when your mother feels restricted and forgotten (I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean by this, but I get the gist I think). So either your sister has POA for your mother but is not informing your mother; or your sister does NOT have POA for your mother and has a headache from trying to manage regardless; and your sister steers clear of your mother while you see your mother face-to-face but, I imagine, not for long or very often...
It's got "hot mess" written all over it. And you want to take it home?
Are you on good terms with your sister?
You need:
- a detailed financial assessment
- all the information about day care and in-home support options beforehand, and not after she's moved in
- to consider ALFs near you
- a detailed care needs assessment
And with those things then you can think about it.
So what does your sister plan to do next, if indeed it is within her authority to do anything? How, why, did it become up to you to plan the next move?
You are "told by" a sibling that mom doesn't qualify for Medicaid?
Why is that?
Do you have POA for finances and Health care for your mom?
Why would you undertake her care if you don't have a full understanding of her finances and health?
What will you do if, after you've moved her in, you discover you can't leave her alone?
Can you afford to quit your job and care for her with no income coming in?
Settle ALL of these issues (what her health is like, what she qualifies for, how much she will pay for rent and caregiving) BEFORE she moves in.
Please.
Why put the target on your own back?
Then there’s the doctors appointments, and the shopping. The depends. The falls.
One day it might not be just a uti, but actual dementia. She’ll get 100 times worse.