We go to my MIL each weekend. Told her we would be later than usual. Door was locked. Got our key and rang the bell. There's a long entry to the inner door and MIL answers it trying to pull on her robe, but in Full Monty. This is a woman who really cared about having her looks all put together if someone would see her. Asked what she had been doing. Had all her jewelry on the bed going through it. Ok who stands in their room stark naked reviewing their jewelry?
What stage of dementia is this? This was a new behavior.
As long as they are up wandering about, ablities can wax and wane, or, steadily get worse.
Uncle systematically, gradually removed excess clothes, jewelry, furniture, dishes, etc., from Gmas apartment, making her living space simpler to deal with.
Her confusion seemed to grow commensurately with how many things were removed--or maybe it was the other way around--kind of "what came first, the chicken or the egg".
It seemed her dementia kept fairly steady pace towards it's finality, with less vacillations, once he started gradually removing things.
Perhaps that was due to fewer things for her mind to connect to, to maintain it's construct of connection to this world--it became easier for her to let go, as things disappeared.
Fewer things to clean or deal with later, less for her to fall over.
Her things got disbursed ahead of schedule, likely not as she'd have liked.
It made her final trip to the hospital less traumatic to all involved--her apartment had little to remove by then, and, she no longer felt tied to it.
It was traumatic for her to let go of some things--like her driver's licence.
Earlier on, she noticed some things disappearing, but Uncle shrugged and played dumb...so did others who helped--or they said it was in storage, all locked up safe [that only works if you know the person will NOT demand to go see it or fetch things back!].
Maybe that helped her give up on life sooner, shortening her time with dementia.
She had some quality of life that was easier to handle, for the time left, and, her life was not artificially dragged on too long in poor quality of life.
It worked for all my grandmas, sorta like that.
Maybe it could work for others...dunno.
Whether that might work for an elder who's a mega-hoarder who regularly goes thru their heaps of stuff--but maybe it might.
Stuff and priveledges need removed at first clear signs that the elder cannot handle those--EVEN IF they later have spells of remembering or renewed abilities...
...once they start having lapses or impairments, it's time to curtal their scope of operations--even if it's only a little at a time--it will go in small steps and large ones, depending on the person.
http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_stages_of_alzheimers.asp
The RMV offers free, one-hour safe driving workshops across the state. massrmv For more information contact the phone number listed on the schedule. There is also a page for family caregivers on this site at massrmv
My mother is at the stage of accusing everyone of stealing from her. she is 95 and livves in AL. the last couple of weeks it is a man who sits on her bed eating peanuts and takes papers(old useless ones) now she hides her wallet and accusing someone of stealing and then I have to go thru all her stuff to find it. I am at a loss as to what to say to her. any suggestions, amy finding it hard to not just react.
2) what stage of dementia patient is in is not really an important marker other than for a medical evaluation at that moment. You will find that the diseases dynamic: one day you'd say somebody is a 3, the next day or even two hours later, you said they were 6. Once you know it's dementia, it's memory altering to the point where decisions have to be made for the patient because no matter whether you can reason with them right now or have them angry or paranoid 2 hours later, they are unable to make safe, sanitary or healthy decisions for themselves on a regular basis.
skinona, your mom sounds like # 3 or 4 on a toaster dial that goes to 7..
I wouldn't panic just yet...I've been there, panicked, worried about moving her to memory care, etc. and the more I educated myself, and calmed down, I realize she manages day to day and can basically take care of herself. As long as she is happy and healthy and not bothered by the episodes I let her be while keeping a close eye on her finances and her overall well being.
My advice is to keep monitoring, document your observations, time of day, etc and bring up to doctor at next visit. He can do tests if you want and may have her further evaluated by neurologist specializing in geriatrics.
Stripping down and organizing the jewelry isn't dangerous, but wandering the neighborhood that way is. Check in with her neighbors and friends the next time you visit. Ask if they've 'noticed anything'. It could be that she hasn't had much contact with them. That's a sign, too.
I'd search for a community near you now, so that you don't have to find something in a hurry during a crisis. Maybe there's one where someone you know lives already? You can start to prepare your MIL for the idea by taking her there for lunch or an activity when she's visiting you.
Driving should be addressed. It's been my experience that the doctor won't proactively address it. You have to. Send him/her a letter, expressing your concerns and asking that your letter remain confidential.
As hard as this may be you must take steps to stop her driving, i'm surprised the doctor hasn't already
I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's easy to assume that because they do something abnormal that this means they are automatically into a "next" stage.
I have made this mistake before and my example is this: mom always wore a watch but could no longer read it correctly, this really upset me especially when she would announce outloud that it was already five to ten when it would be something way off like half past two!
I took the watch off her because I told myself she could no longer read a clock.
Months later we were in the supermarket when she said " come on it's twenty past five already let's get going"
I imeadiately thought " mmmm whatever" only to look up at the somewhat small supermarket wall click to see it read 5.20pm. She could read a clock.
She wears her watch now and some days can read it fine and other days had trouble.
I agree you can't me black & white with all stages/behaviors, however my mother has early onset alzheimers and this is something she would have done and she too us an elegant lady always dressed beautifully and very reserved.
She has good days and bad. Rummaging through things ( especially jewelry ) or things important to them can become obsessive and she could have easily Ben getting undressed whilst seeing her jewelry- getting sidetracked - deciding she must sort it now... Naked or not.
My mum constantly gets her jewelry out, sorts it, moves it etc
I would say my mom had moderate dementia, I fo care for her full time.. Although she was also doing these sorts if things 3 years ago when she was living on her own with dementia and coping quite well.
What I have learnt over the past 4 years is there are SO many quirky / unexpected things they do but we need to accept them and not make huge reactions of them. My motto is so long as she is not harming herself or anybody else then I take a breath and accept these things.
It's so hard and unforgiving this disease but
personally I feel boxing people into a stage is somewhat damaging. Each person is an individual and their journey is fairly different , so please don't write her off to a stage because of something that is new and confronting to you :)