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For my father, it began with him not following driving instructions. He would pass Into OnComing traffic and saying “he had the right of way”, my mother stopped riding with him because of all his cussing, swearing, weaving in and out of traffic. Last Straw, was unfortunately my 9 year niece that came home upset that Grandpa went THE COMPLETELY WRONG WAY in a round-about.
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Reply to CaringSharShar
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For my husband, it was two things. First, when he handed over his car keys and told me that he had driven all his life and now it was my turn. Second, when he handed me his iPhone and asked how it worked because he couldn’t figure it out.

Both big red flags as he was always big on driving anything with a motor (trucks, cars, private airplanes, motorcycles). He was a big computer geek and always the first in his office/family to get the latest tech gadget and show the rest of us how to use them.

In hindsight, I can see him becoming less interested in group activities and preferring to hang out more at home.
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Reply to MrsPie
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I recall my mom making decisions she definitely would not have made before. The biggest thing that sticks out is when she told me she was being followed. Then whenever we went somewhere, she would say there they are or that person is following me too. She claimed people were outside her apartment at night, talking to her. I immediately had a family meeting! From there, she would get lost driving so my dad went with her everywhere. There is more.
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I think it was my DHs inability to balance his checkbook. He had always been an obsessive financial record keeper - hole punches, three ring binders with business cards taped inside, the whole bit. Suddenly (or maybe not so suddenly?) he couldn’t reconcile at the end of the month. Once I started doing it for him I started to see he was sending donations to national organizations over and over again, forgetting that he’d done it the month before. He would get mad at me for pointing it out. Then he admitted that he was afraid if he didn’t send a check when asked something bad was going to happen although he couldn’t say what.
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Reply to Peasuep
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For my now 95-yr old Mom, it was within the last 7 years. She was still driving and one day confessed to me that she went to an area she wasn't familiar with but was eventually able to get home. Didn't think to call me. Nothing odd happened for a long while after that (like maybe 2-ish years). Then one morning she called me up and wanted to know how much toothpaste she should put on her toothbrush. A totally weird question. I was so dumbfounded I just gave her an answer. She sounded confused. I wondered if she'd had a TIA. Then, about a year or so passed and she became more and more forgetful and easily confused. Made more mistakes cooking even when following a recipe. Would shop for me at the grocery store from my list, and still bring back the wrong items or brand. Became more insistent that someone did her wrong, rather than acknowlege she made a mistake; became tonedeaf in conversations and not relenting when told she'd crossed a line, less empathy, more paranoia about people taking things or me wanting to "put her away in a home"; was forgeting how to use her appliances but insisting they were broken and torturing the customer service phone reps; worsening judgment (like trying to walk down her snowy driveway in sneakers when she has boots with cleats); repeating herself; incessantly asking inane questions until I have to tell her to stop; broken filter; negativity; inappropriate social behaviors; etc.

It starts very slowly and spotty. By time we see more regular and unmistakeable behaviors, our LO is already in moderate dementia.
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mommabeans Dec 30, 2024
Yes, a mom's rent was on auto pay and she would then also log into the system and pay it. And would swear up and down she didn't do it. Even with the proof in front of her face. She was convinced the management was trying to steal money from her. And also, the tone-deafness. Phones and computers that got replaced because they "didn't work" but they were just turned off or unplugged. Social behaviors I would say got oddly "extra". Not really inappropriate just dramatic. Like the worst acting job ever...
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Person A: Anger, paranoia and hallucinations. Person B: Anger, paranoia, and forgetting things, plus making really bad decisions about everyday matters. Person C: Falling a lot and thinking she was going to marry Elvis. Person D: Unable to complete tasks that required following simple instructions. Person E: Didn't recall that she'd sold a house she'd inherited from her mother. Person F: Thought everybody important in her life was stealing from her and wrote letters about it to all of them as well as the police. Person G: Lying about things, such as saying family members stole money from parents and put their dad in hospice without his permission. Person H: Started talking about digging up his parents (dead for more than 30 years) and building a huge mausoleum for them in a cemetery in a town 20 miles away.
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Reply to Fawnby
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My uncle kept falling and wouldn't hit is medical alert button. He said he didn't want to bother anyone. That logic didn't make sense and in retrospect I wonder if he couldn't rember he had it or how to use it.
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JuliaH Dec 29, 2024
That's a good one! If my mother remembered how to use it,the company could've helped us locate her when she became lost. This should become an essential point of conversation with the use of them to the elderly.
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My Mom, reasoning. My disabled nephew came to live with her, shewas 80. Dad hadvpassed 2 yrs before. My neohew was suppose to be here to go to a Community College to see if he was capable of doing it. He easn't. My Mom felt sorry for him because he was an orphan and felt my brother and wife were to strict with him. His neurological problem means he needs structure, Mom did not think so. She believed everything he said over me who was 60. I could not believe it. She was aware of his disability. I would explain why he could not do something, before she would have gone along with me, not now.
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mommabeans Dec 30, 2024
Yes, the loss of reasoning is so frustrating;
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For me with my late husband it was when he'd forgotten how to use the microwave, and became very incontinent, and then started falling a lot.
I then knew something was very wrong
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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For my mom I think she knew early on like 10 years prior to my farhers diagnosis.

After she passed I was going through her stuff she had stuff going back to 2013 about memory loss, what to can be done and stuff.

I do wonder what caught her eye first l.
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Reply to Fatherdrama94
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My mom caused a crash and that's how she got diagnosed, but we had already been begging her to go back to her doctor and ask for help for a few years.

Becoming less social, even with her family, was also early sign, but it came much later than the conversations that couldn't happen without that one topic being brought up.
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Reply to mommabeans
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For my brother, poor balance, occ. difficulty swallowing, "dreams" that weren't dreams but nighttime hallucinations, and he was aware and certain he was awake.
An inability to hear well on the phone, and hanging up on us when we called thinking we were no longer talking. Addressing an envelope wrong. For instance all right, but the city and state. Increased anxiety when out shopping. Increased worrying over bills, files, keeping things straight. Less social.

He was in a car accident and this is how he got diagnosed. Laying in the arms of a neighbor kept repeating "I knew something was wrong; I knew somethings was wrong."
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TrishaAlvis Jan 2, 2025
@AlvaDeer, I'm so sorry that this has happened to your brother. All of his signs are "classic" dementia, but as the saying goes, "If you know one person with dementia, you know one person with dementia." There are so many types of this devastating disease, clinical diagnosis is the only way to know for sure. Look for a local chapter of The Dementia Friendly group in your area. They have great resources and can help you, your brother, and family how to "manage" his personal care and needs. I take my mom who has a few of the cognitive signs of early dementia to the Elgin Area Dementia Friendly chapter. This is as much for me as it is for her. I'm on he advisory council now too. We go the 2nd Tuesday of every month and my mom loves the time we get to bond and learn together there. The others on the council are a second family to us. I thank God for this group.
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