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No money had been paid over the course of 7 out of 9 years and that was $800 a month.

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motherofdreams, I agree that $3,000 per month is much more than 7 years of nothing.

You asked the question, and I responded with what my ex-husband was paid for awhile. What do YOU think is reasonable?
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It’s very hard to a caregiver. So many challenges. I hope it works out for you.

Is your mom a widow of a veteran? You can apply for aid and assistance if your father served during war time. Max benefits are approximately $1200 a month. Not a lot but some help.
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My ex-husband has been his parents' full-time caregiver for several years. For awhile, he was getting paid about $3,000 per month. I didn't think that was enough, considering how hard the work is and how much he sacrificed. I think that worked out to about $6 per hour, not including nights. My ex wasn't paying room and board and had very few expenses, so that amount of money was "enough." His dad just died (today). His mom is still alive and I assume he'll continue caring for her, although I don't know. All assets now go to his mom, who is incompetent because of being in the late stages of Alzheimer's disease. I don't know if my ex's siblings will want to give him more than his equal share of the estate (if anything is left) when their mom dies. I don't think he would have a legal basis to demand more.
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motherofdreams Oct 2019
But if he is being paid $3000 a month, that is much more than 7 years of nothing, Don't take me wrong. I was happy to fulfill my mother's wishes, I would have been extremely happy with that amount as this kept me from working 20 to 30 hours a week. It is a tough job... but I don't hold a grudge because my mom asked me to do this. I loved my mom dearly.. and i miss her fiercely.
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We can only wish. I will let it go. You are reading too much into my question. It is not over. I heard it was my choice. yes I guess is was my "choice" to not tell my mother NO when she requested to not go into a nursing home. I could not be that cruel, until towards the end. yes is was my choice to fullfill her request and wishes. Have a good day.
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Tothill Oct 2019
Mod,

Please do not leave.

Your original post was a legitimate question. In your follow up post you elaborated, giving additional information.

You also let us know your mother has passed away. My condolences to you.

It can be very challenging to get paid for providing care from an estate. Unless a caregiver agreement was in place ahead of time and the Will states that any arrears must be paid to the caregiver during probate.

It often does not seem necessary when starting the caregiving process to get a notarized contract, and often too late when the need arises.

Siblings who did not provide care often do not want the caregiver to receive a larger share of the estate.
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Are you speaking of a paid position as 24/7 caregiver or are you speaking of voluntarily and of your own volition assuming the care of a parent? Because in life there are jobs that we interview for and are qualified for and are hired for. Then there are voluntary positions that we assume voluntarily. They are two entirely different positions.
As to caring for a parent or anyone else 24/7, there of course is never compensation of any kind that could adequately pay for such care. Nor is there money enough in the world.
To be very frank, I wouldn't assume 24/7 working for even Ted Turner, who could afford to pay me just about anything I asked.And certainly seems a sweet enough guy.
I am thinking that your question is one that is designed to open discussion? But of just what I am not certain. If a serious question, in my city I guess we could start with minimum wage of 15.00 an hour X 24 hours X 7 days X 52 weeks to come to a conclusion. My calculator needs new batteries or I could come to a total; not certain who would sign the contract, however.
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motherofdreams, the vast majority of grown children are not paid for being a caregiver for their parent. If a parent wishes to pay, it all depends on what they can budget.

With $800 per month, for 24 hours per day, that comes to $26.67 per day, or $1.12 per hour. Of course, it depends on how much work is involved.

Licensed caregiving agencies charge between $20 to $30 per hour, or $480 to $720.00 per day. But one caregiver isn't there all day. There would be 3 shifts of caregivers daily, thus they are able to go home after their shift and get a good night's [or day's] sleep.
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I have a few questions.

1) Are you the caregiver?
2) Are funds available for payment?
3) Is the parent deceased?
4) If the parent is alive, is he or she receiving Medicaid benefits?
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motherofdreams Oct 2019
No, parent did not receive Medicaid. Note parent is now deceased . Yes I with my disabled husband were her caregivers.(9 years in home) Everything and every concern of hers came above our own health issues, and work. yes we lived in her home with her for the time. We were with her 24/7. Took her to all her appts, picked her up off the floor when she fell, cooked, bathed her, gave her, her meds, did her laundry, and purchased all her clothes and food. She did have money but I was co owner on her checking accounts and never demanded she pay us, even tho' I was only able to work 12 hours a week because there were things my husband could not do for her care.
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