with my mother being incapacitated, is she still responsible to pay her monthly credit card bill?? this particular credit card is in her name only -- i was able to pay last month, but not sure if i can continue this....should i contact the credit card company & explain the circumstances?? will they write it off??
Hardest Part is Finding Someone you can TRUST
In Mom's case, she no longer needed good credit. And I don't believe that children should take responsibility for their parent's debts.
My dad was in a NH and was on hospice and I stopped worrying about his bills. I called all the creditors, explained that my dad was dying, and I wanted to let them know. My name was on none of my dad's debts. Yup, that's right. I stopped paying his bills because he didn't need a good credit rating anymore. In a perfect world he would have left us a lot of money to cover all of his debts but as it was he had exactly $1,080 in his account when he died. Just enough to cover his cremation and a small reception at a local restaurant.
I didn't lose a wink of sleep over it.
When a person dies, be sure to get as many copies of their death certificate as might be needed to settle with creditors, and every other legal entity that might need notified using a death certificate.....
It's cheaper to order the number of certified copies needed, at the time of death, than to order copies later.
This is pretty important...because...
When contacting creditors & other legal entities regarding a person who has died, no bankruptcy is needed. A certified copy of the death certificate and a letter stating they died, and that there is no estate to collect from [IF that is true], usually is all that's needed to get them to close the accounts.
Mom owns that debt herself.
It is her responsibility....
UNLESS...
If she is married, most States might mandate the spouse is liable for those debts too, even though their name is not on those debts.
IF someone is incapacitated, cannot work, are in a living/maintenance situation that takes all their income, there may be a way out.
....but technically, they are still liable for their debts.
Please contact the creditor[s], to let them know just enough details to convey to them why she cannot pay the bill.
Tell them to "freeze" the account---that is, the debt is still there in the account, still toting up interest, but, no further transactions can be made on it.
SOMEtimes, there may be ways they can [but will they?] lower the interest rates to help it get paid off faster...IF that is something that works in Mom's situation.
Children are NOT liable to pay a parent's credit card bills
--unless your name is also on that card, or, you have some legal arrangement that stipulated you would. OR, possibly, IF you used her card....signed anything to do with that card.
DON'T sign on Mom's cards!
Do NOT agree to take any responsibility for Mom's cards--only, that you or your brother have a POA that allows you to direct the card company what to do, and tell them what the situation is..
Credit Card companies will give you grinding, rations of grief
--they do not simply let people avoid payment;
--some reps may nearly call you a liar, be rude, be accusative, all sorts of terrible behaviors...and that's before it is turned over to collections.
.....they want proof, they want paid;
They may try to arrange a reduced payment schedule--IF you're lucky they might offer that.
A letter from her Doc should fulfill the requirement for proof of incapacity.
A letter from her Doc ONLY needs to state that she "is too ill, has been incapacitated permanently [or for how long?], and due to her now living in a facility that takes her income, she cannot pay her credit card bill...and is not responsible for her affairs anymore...".
The creditor is NOT entitled to know her diagnosis, nor details of her illness
--only that she is too ill/incapacitated/dead to pay her bill, and that her money is being used to pay for her upkeep and medical needs, precluding repayment of her other debts.
At that point, the credit card company could simply close the account/write it off
--that would make better sense than trying to pursue payment [blood out of a turnip], at greater costs to them.
They'd have to do the same thing if/when the debtor dies.
IF the card company keeps trying to get YOU to pay, they are illegally out of line, as far as I know.
They can be told to cease and desist harassment of an invalid or their family.
As IsMiami said, they want paid. But usually, they will only pursue it so far--at some point, it becomes ridiculously expensive for companies to keep pursuing it.
About the only entity that can milk blood from turnips & the dead, is the IRS.
Mom will be racking up medical debts.
===IMHO, if considering bankruptcy, ya might want to wait things out as long as possible, before doing that....to make sure ==everything== that can, gets on that action.
===AVOID rolling multiple debts into a "convenient debt consolidation loan" or anything remotely like that--those are a trap one cannot bankrupt upon
--at least that has been the law.
But bottom line:
Mom's estate, IF there's anything left, has to pay her debts, before just about anything else, as far as I know. Family members come last, if at all. The only way heirs get anything, is if the person gifts it legally to them, far enough ahead of time that they get to keep it.
About the bank account, if you are dealing with aggressive debt collector and think they may try to seize your accounts. You can file a statement with the bank that the account is only SS income and therefore cannot be seized. So you kinda have to have the account set up so that it only gets their SS direct deposit or their SS and other exempt from seizure retirement (like RR or federal retirements). But the banks have to do this and block seizure if that is the case.
If you have FPOA you can pay most every bill she has (except government stuff) with her money.
If no one has access to mom's money, then the first thing you have to do is go to court and have them determine who is to get guardianship of your mom. Then that person is going to be charge of using her assets to pay her bills. In the meantime, call the credit card company and explain the situation and let them know that you guys are working on it and see if you can't work out something with them for the time being.
If your mom has no assets, no money in the bank, no home to sell, no personal belongings that will amount to anything, no investments, and her mental situation appears to be permanent, then you can tell the credit cards that she will be unable to take care of her debts and that you are really sorry. Provide them with the number of her current care provider and leave it at that.
Children are not responsible for the debts of the parents unless they signed something saying they would be, or unless it's medicare debt and they live in a state that has laws making the children responsible for the care of elderly parents.
LsMiami - has good advice. If mom has money, then she should try to pay on her debts. Whomever is her DPOA, can sign the monthly check for her to pay the CC or whatever. I bet Sissy who did all this, just got worn out from everything "mom"
But I bet the situation is that now mom just really doesn't now have any extra money to pay for anything other than her medical costs. And with her brain injury
these costs change & increase every month. If that is the case, continuing to pay on the CC or other debt like that is throwing money away & you need every penny to pay for her care. I wouldn't pay another dime. If mom has no assets (no house), then there is nothing the CC company can do as CC is an unsecured debt. Now the CC & then later the debt collection companies will be relentless in calling & writing mom and whomever they can (that means you) to get it paid. So try not to let anyone get your phone #'s and do everything in writing as your mom (assuming you have DPOA). They don't care if mom had a major accident or a brain tumor, they just want someone to agree to a payment plan so they can get their $ or a % of the recovery. They will be relentless in calling you. DO NOT AGREE TO ANYTHING VERBALLY. If they call you just say...this is not Mary Jane Jones and hang up. Also keep in mind that SS and most retirements are totally protected from being garnished or seized too. The only thing that can garnish SS income money is the IRS. If they tell you otherwise, it is just bluster.
Maybe lsmiami can shed some light on the CC collection techniques??
Oh also the CC company (the actual bank not the debt collector) when they write off the debt evenutally can send mom a 1099-C Cancellation of Debt. This is considered income by the IRS. Now the totally sticky part of 1099-C is that:
- they do not have to be issued for the year you stopped paying on the CC
&
- the amount written off is considered TAXABLE income by the IRS. The amount can be more than the CC balance the last time paid too (fees, late charges, etc).So if mom is getting Medicaid or any other program that is needs-based (that she has to be really poor to qualify for), the 1099-C could give her too much "income" to qualify. The fact that the $$ the CC company wrote off is not real income but "phantom income" doesn't matter, it is still taxable. (1099-C get sent to homeowners who do a foreclosure and those amounts are big as they are for the whole balance of the mortgage they walked away from plus all the foreclosure legal fees...yikes!). If mom get's a 1099-C (it would be issued in January and has to be delivered by Feb), do a post and I'll tell you what we had to do with our on Medicaid elder's 1099-C. Good luck.
Also, I like the comment from someone about being responsible for the nursing home debt as well. Make sure in no way or fashion any of you are responsible for that. This should be all her debt unless you choose to pay it.
You can't ignore the bills..you can contact the creditors and see if they will work with you. If she passes away, her estate will have to pay the remainder of what she owes. If there is no estate then they will write it off. You aren't responsible for what is in her name only. I'm in central Florida and I realize that laws are different everywhere. If you don't have the money for an attorney, I would call the credit card company first and see if they will help you. It may buy you some time. Capital One has put a "stay" on mom's accounts while they are investigating my request. I'll let you know what happens. Keep us all posted. I'm sure this is a big concern for many people. Adult children are finding that their parents have debt.
Good Luck!!!!
If your father has a card, you should cut it into tiny pieces and have his mail directed to your address so you can monitor his activities. This way you KNOW what is happening.
If there are nursing bills, and you or others signed the contract personally, then you will be liable for those debts as well. "Don't pay it" is silly and irresponsible and will reflect on the credit of whoever signs those contracts.
If you have been charging care to moms credit card, then mom is still liable. If she can't pay and they find you or sibs have been using the card -- that's still illegal to use her card if you are not a co-owner on the card.
Follow Ismaili advice and work out a payment. Cut the card up right now and any other credit cards of moms. Find out who has POA for finances and get the finances and bills under control making sure all and future will be up to date and properly managed.
There are only 2 ways out of this, pay, or, if the rest of the financial situation is severe enough file bankruptcy.
Make sure you do not use the card. Even if it is not in your name the act of using it may incur you a liability.
Even when your parents pass away the company has a legitimate claim for payment.
Nowhere in the credit card agreement (contract) is there a hardship clause. A balance is not forgiven whether you are incapacitated, unemployed, have sick children, etc..
I worked collections or a credit card company, while attending college I was the persons who called past due accounts (don't hate me) Back then, we referred people to a group I believe wad associated with the United Way. CCCS, Consumer Credit Counseling Service. I believe they still exist. They would work out payment plans for all your debtors. You may want to check them out, I am sure they have a web site these days.
Good luck,
L