Mom will empty an entire box of tissue within hours of opening it. She refuses to change her soiled depends, she wraps the soiled areas with toilet paper. Then she refuses to shower. When she does use the toilet, she saves the soiled paper, she folds it neatly into a perfect square and places it into her dresser of under garments.
Why does she do this?
Supervision in the bathroom.
Gentle reminders about where things go.
Prompting when necessary.
Eventually the Supervision will become full care
Eventually the gentle reminders and prompting will not help and you will be doing all the hands on care.
It may actually be at that point.
Showering daily is not a necessity but keeping peri areas clean and dry are. Handwashing is also important.
This is the how-to guide in a nutshell everyone needs!
Being pre-occupied with their own feces and refusing to wash are classic dementia behaviors.
It's time for her to have help because she's going to become seriously ill from continual exposure to her own crap and saving toilet paper soiled with it.
You have to take over now. She does not get to choose whether or not she wants to shower or wear clean clothes, or change her Depend. You have to force her to. If you have to literally shove her into the bathoom and into the shower or onto the toilet, or into washing up with the basin and soap - Do it.
Let her throw a tantrum. Let her cry. Ignore it because she cannot be allowed to continue living as you say she does.
If you're unable to do this on your own, hire caragivers to help.
Or place her in a managed care facility.
The "reason" is that the person's brain is broken and these action make sense to them.
The best measure you can take would be to restrict her access to these products.
For me toileting was the worse job but if i didn' to it mom had stuff all over. Its time for you to be there. You don't ask, you just do. If you think she is going to play with her depends after you have disposed of them, then move whatever u use to put them in. I took the tissue box away from Mom because she was taking the used ones and putting them back in. She got mad at me too. She did not play with toilet paper, but she counted the squares, folding them, until she hit 8 and then tore them off. If Mom is playing with toilet paper put it where she can't reach it because now you will be with her when she goes.
As Dementia worsens people get more like children. You would not let a toddler do what Mom is doing. You would not let a toddler tell u no when their diaper needs changing. Like a toddler you don't ask "do you want to change your diaper". They will probably will say no. Same with someone who is suffering from Dementia. You don't ask. You just walk them to the bathroom and get done what needs to be done.
Sorry, but its time for you to take over the toileting. And this is just the beginning. Mom should never be left alone. She may get beyond the care you can provide so MC or LTC will be needed. Depends on what she can afford.
Good luck.
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