Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Can you politely tell them that they are making this harder for dad then it needs to be?

Then tell them that they are welcome to come and take care of him and get him moved in with them so they can take their own advice. If any of them took you up on this, be sure they understand it is a permanent solution, as you won't contribute to him being pulled hither and yawn.

Or maybe like barb asked, do they have dementia? Maybe you could say, you know, since you can't wrap your head around the reality of dads situation, we should get you checked out, it can run in the family ya know.

I'm just being smart, but I think when people make our lives harder and they haven't even seen the reality because they won't come visit, then they don't deserve respect or regard, just a good solid dose of reality upside their heads.

I am truly sorry that your dads family is making this so much harder for you and your family. I know first hand how much work you do, even though he is in AL. Find a way to tell them to mind their manners in a way that works for you and keep repeating until it sinks in. I agree, no more information for them.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Love your response, isthisreallyreal.
(1)
Report
I am getting impression that he doesn't live with you. If he did, you could have asked what about your freedom?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
PandaMom Mar 2019
Hi,

No, we recently moved him to an assisted living community. Before that he was in a big house by himself.
(0)
Report
Stop listening to their complaints and stop thinking you owe them explanations
Helpful Answer (11)
Report

I think they are just clueless. They too are probably declining and just don't see reason. Does Dad really need a phone. He really doesn't need people putting things in his head. I would tell them to stop. That they need to read up on Dads Dementia and find out there is no cure. His brain is dying. You are doing what needs to be done under the circumstances to make him safe. He can't drive because the State says so. (I know a little white lie) He can't live alone because its unsafe. I agree, only call when its an emergency. If they call and start, turn the tables, tell them they are welcome to care for him.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
JoAnn,

Very wise advice.
(0)
Report
Yep time to cut the information cord. Tell them, if you wish their interest in his wellbeing is appreciated BUT until they come to help on a regular basis, the advice is no longer needed.
Or just cut cord, walk away and be done. If they call ignore call or lie through your teeth.
Protect you and your loved one 1st and dont worry about the rest. You've got enough on your plate.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Do they all perhaps have dementia as well?
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
PandaMom Mar 2019
That might be part of it. They are in their 60s and 70s. I think some of it is cultural as well.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter