my parents have come back from living in florida at my request, since my mother got sick with alheimers and parkinsons. at the same time, they went into total financial devastation and presently have nothing. I wanted them to live close but before my father could find an affordable apartment, his lease was ending in florida and was coming to ny without a place to live. I felt sick about thinking that they had no place to go and invited them to live with me, my husband and my 2 teenagers in our apartmemnt until he found a place. We got them on senior housing lists in the areaand the plan was always for him to find a place and move.... but the waiting lists are forever. In the meantime, while my parents were here for a visit about 3 months before the scheduled move, my dad said, "maybe i won't look so quickly if we are all comfortable. at the time, all i could think about was relieving him and i too quickly responded "so don't." now they have been here for a month and every day i am becoming more and more depressed. I don't have any privacy and i feel like my life is over. I want to talk to my dad but i am so afraid that he will feel kicked out. My husband has been amazing but he would also like his life back. I know life will never be the same having them here but I need guidance in how/where to get them out. I want to be there for them but I am really unhappy living like this. I'm just not myself anymore and I am becoming increasingly sad and angry. Someone please help
will understand about space and having teenagers in the house. I tried having my mother live with me and believe me it was not easy. My husband was a saint through it all but its like having another baby in the house. Always making sure they have everything they need from food to transportation. When I explained the issues with my mom she took it remarkable well and went to live with my neice. I must say that I was not well either. Good Luck to you but please have that long talk with dad he just might be feeling the same but afraid he will hurt you by stating he want his own place as well.
Do your children bring friends over. If they do, but have stopped since the GP's moved in, encourage them to do it as that will also give your parents an idea of how close the quarters are.
It could be that your dad has been overwhelmed with the financial losses and your mom's health problems. He may be feeling like he needs a little down time before starting over again. He might be afraid or depressed or just happy to be someplace secure.
Maybe you could start by checking into apartments in your area that you think your folks can afford. Ask your dad if the two of you can look around at what's available so he and your mom can see what they can get in various rent prices and areas. Often there is the problem of a first and last month rent and deposit. Most places run credit checks too, so it's good to see what things cost and start the planning process.
Maybe you could say something to your dad about rent adds that you've seen and mention that, eventually, everyone is going to need more space. Hey, Dad, let's get out of the house and look around at what there is out there and what things cost. Be sure to tell him that you are not trying to rush them, just want to get an idea of what to plan for.
Maybe your folks will see a little place that they love and that will get them excited about the next step.
I know how awkward this is for you, but try some gentle nudging and keep telling them how happy you are that they will be living close to you now.
I wish you good luck and a graceful transition. Hugs, Cattails
Sounds like a no-brainer to me.
Do it kindly. Do it gradually, leading up to it over time. Do it with actions such as apartment hunting. Do it any way that works. And if you try some ways that don't work, try some other ways. But above all, just do it!