I am the one with her the longest time, her son (my hubby) works and is away 12+ hrs daily. He doesn't se all the anger I do when I tell her she isn't able to do something! I try to keep the topics light and non irritating but with this illness the moods swithch on and off in a blink of an eye!!! I am not prepared to handle this, we have a caregiver that comes 2 times a week to help and bath but only 4 hrs each time!? We can't afford more, and of all things my husband thinks I can do it on my own!!!! I'm frustrated and angy that he dosen't see how this effects everyone. This morning I had an argument with her about what bathroom was hers, our son was trying to use the second bath to get ready for school....! Since we moved into her home I have to try to respect her wishes but we need to function too? We , I think need to find a care center for her because I can't do this like her son wants me to...I can't even go to the restroom as she wanders everywhere and is a fall risk so I watch her like a hawk! I haven't slept more than 4 hrs a night because she wanders and gets up and turns on all the lights to see her way around. I know that we are in way over our heads!!!!!!!!!!!!! But there were other circummstances that lead up to this decision. Virginia has 2 children a son and a daughter, the daughter took POA for Virginia 3 yrs ago and had her placed in a care facility then..helped her pay the bills and alot more if you know what I mean...... with her moms money! So needless to say moms funds are almost gone and so is the "wonderful daughter!" . Now, thats where we come in,.... after no contact except for wanting something that no one else she tried would, she contacts her brother in a note that she gave up POA and she passed it to him! So we are literaly picking up the mess that was left by this waste of human flesh!
(1) Respect that your husband is doing the right thing and caring for the mother who gave him life and cared for him when he was a nuisance as a baby and child.One day YOU will be this woman. How would you like to be treated? None of this is her fault.
(2) Hire inexpensive "babysitters" to come in and give you time to get out and away to do the things you need to do without having to worry about her. You can even have someone who watches her while you are home.
(3) Make use of door locks and even baby gates to keep her from getting hurt when you need to use the bathroom, etc. Ditto for when your son needs time in the bathroom. At night, lock her in but have water, etc for her and have a working baby monitor in the room.
My kids learned a lot about family and about love and compassion and patience from helping care for elderly relatives.
Please keep us informed of how it works out.